I hate not posting for a long time. Although I guess that's stupid to say since I can control that.

I'm student teaching now and tomorrow is my first actual opportunity to be responsible and in charge of 6th graders. I'm nervousish..but not really...yet...I'm almost taking well to having to get up every day at 6. HAven't slept in yet...many more opportunities to do that, though.

[size=l]Happy Birthday Di!!!!![/size]...(ok oops sorry...I'm a day late posting, but who's counting?)... Hope you had a great day in Bostonia.

I need a new picture.

This is boring.

Daily updates will commence this week I think. Although I will probably do it (e:Jessbob) style and actually update every day for a week or two and then slack off a little. But at least I know my roommate's names. : P

I got a car yesterday. How exciting. Actually I was really excited. But now today has turned into ridiculousness about getting the car registered and insured. I'm trying to make it to Albany today and it's already 10:03 AM and we haven't gotten to the DMV yet because my dad has some stuff at work to do. So who knows how long that will take, plus going and buying new bolts to put new plates on, getting back home, putting the plates back on, going to the insurance company so they can take pictures of it...all so I can go to Albany. I'm starting to think I should just go to Albany tomorrow. The worst part about all of this I can't do it by myself because my dad is registering the car under his name so he has to go to the DMV and the insurance and all this stuff. And my dad doesn't deal well with working under stress and waiting around and paying for things and pretty much everything that will be happening today. He doesn't get violent or something but sometimes it's almost worse the way he is constantly sighing and staring out the window and closing his eyes like nothing worse could be happening. He probably isn't even thinking these things at all but I have dealt with it for 22 years and since I'm so sensitive to everything it just makes me feel terrible and that I'm wasting his time. My sister can make jokes and make everything less tense, but I just feel guilty and helpless and I shut down because I don't know what to do. If I don't fight it I can end up being the same way, getting so upset about the most tedious and minor things that are definitely not worth the stress or energy to be angry. I definitely do that on my own sometimes and putting two people together who do that is NOT a good situation, and I find myself having to really make myself be as smiley and optimistic as possible so I either ignore or overcome the terribleness I feel from my dad's actions. I am really looking forward to going to the Adirondacks and I want to leave today and I will be upset if I don't. And I love Tom my new car and I wish that all this paperwork and errands didn't always have to be such a dramatic experience and such a big deal. And while I'm so lucky and grateful that my parents haven't cut me off and still support me, I know I could do this all on my own if I had to and I wish I didn't have to rely on others so much. I really do have great parents, despite what I say, they would do anything for me and my sister and I guess I can say that if the worst thing I can think of that's happening with my family is that my dad and I are rushing around so I can take my new car on vacation...I don't really have it bad and I am being silly. Of course at the same time I can't help but have these sad and frustrated feelings.

Of course much worse things are happening in the world today, so . . . blah I don't know I'm silly and sick of this entry and I hope the DMV isn't awful but of course it probably will be...

I'm here in Guilderland for the weekend. I turned down (e:mike) and (e:maureen) about going out last night, thinking that i needed to be up for a bus at 9:50 am the next day. Well sometime after that I decided it would be a better idea to take the bus before it in case the bus was delayed crossing the border like the train always is. OMG I hate the stupid train from buffalo to albany. It is seriously AT LEAST an hour and a half late every time, no joke...stupid customs. So anyway I ended up taking a bus at 5:40 am. Who does that? I totally should have gone out with (e:mike) and (e:maureen) and then just gone straight to the bus station after the bars and a jim's steakout trip. So anyway I didn't do that after all, but I made it and the bus was on time and not too sketchy.
Tonight I went with Chris's family to a restaurant that is very well known in the area for their beef and steak and stuff. It was super tasty and expensive.
ps Ever since I met Chris's family they call me MK like most people. But they all emphasize the M instead of the K. This is unlike everybody else who says my name...they say it like MK. So Chris of course told them that they say my name funny and now they are trying to not say it that way. Which is fine and nice, but now everytime someone starts to say something to me, they get interrupted by everyone else saying variations of "NO you said it wrong! It's EmmKAY! Not EMMkay! Or should we call you Mary Kate? What do you think EMMKay? Oops I mean EmmKAY!" So basically no one ever gets to say anything to me because they don't know how to say my name. Who would have thought a name with only two letters would cause so much catastrophe?
I am super sad to not be able to go to the party tomorrow. : ( I hope everyone has fun and has some drinkies.......YAY 10000....YAY ELMWOOD STRIP..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Wednesday my Grandma passed away. My grandparents lived near Atlanta for my whole life, so here I am in Georgia at her house. Today was the funeral and tonight we began to go through some of hers and my grandfathers things (he passed away in 2002). It is so neat to see all of their stuff. Although I make fun of (e:mike) for being a packrat, that's what my grandparents were, and everything is so neat to find and look at. We've found old jewely, letters, worksheets and knick-knacks in their old cedar chest. My mom and I also found an envelope with the words "This is personal, do not read, destroy promptly in case of accident, Mom". How mysterious! So I went and asked my dad and he smiled and said that he and his two sisters had talked about it with their mother and she said that only her three children were allowed to read what was inside...which is love letters between her and my grandfather! (Or at least I hope from my grandfather?!) So I am a little jealous but I also think that is really sweet.
Being so far away, we only got to see my grandparents once or twice a year, so we weren't very, very close. But when we did get to see each other a couple times a year, of course it was absolutely great. I know many people would probably this same claim, but I am fairly certain that I had the best, most classic Grandma ever. AT LEAST the best cook. I mean if you didn't come back from a trip to Georgia weighing at least 5 lbs more than when you got there, you were surely ill. One thing I will miss soooo much is her amazing pound cake. She was so well known for it that I printed up recipe cards and we gave them out at the wake as people came in, and everyone loved it. Her pound cake was honestly the best and it makes us all sad to think she won't bake us another, something she loved to do.
And my grandfather was the most caring and selfless person. Many of the things we found of theirs tonight had little slips or paper that he had written, always marking down who gave it to them, when, and what/how much it had meant to them. They just loved their family. They even got to see their first great grandchild born in 2002, and my grandma lived to see a second great grandchild. Even though we weren't close it is really hard to be here and not have my grandmother here fussing and cooking and cracking a few jokes here and there. The last time she came to Buffalo was for my recital. She was sooooo happy to be there and I was so glad she got to come. I sent her a recording of it before I left for Europe and my dad said she loved it and they listened to it on the Monday before she passed away. It was really hard to sing at the funeral because it was as if I knew she was listening to me, so I wanted to sing well but at the same time no one can sing well with a lump in their throat.
We were here for her birthday last year too, and she got to meet Chris ("just the nicest boy" she told me EVERY TIME i talked to her) and because his birthday is so close to hers they had a birthday cake together...her last birthday, and we got to be there, which I think is really lucky.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I will really, really miss her, and am grateful that I got to talk to her when she was in the hospital last week. I know that when I sing I will always remember how happy my recital made her and that she was proud what I did no matter what...I love you and miss you, Grandma and Granddad...

I'm sitting at work here with nothing to do. This usually happens when my dad takes the day off because he generally gives me stuff to do. But I hate not coming in because I need the money (wow the thought actually crossed my mind to put the words "like whoa" right there. But I hate that. And I HATE the word "woot". So so much.). Anyway so it feels like time to finish posting my pictures. I should update this more, because I applaud (e:Jessbob) for his daily posting and perhaps I should do the same. So here are the rest of my pics.



The Louvre, holy crap it's so huge and full of neat stuff...



...including this lovely lady(?) in the frame



a bookstore once home to many American writers when the U.S. was crap after World War I, such as Ernest Hemingway. Neato. The front normally doesn't look like that by the way but of course we were then when it was being worked on.



the Eiffel all lit up at night


So we drank a LITTLE wine...taken in our lovely flat that we rented for the week from a man who reminded me of (e:Paul) if he was French...



The Eiffel Tower at night was super amazing and I loved it. If we had been there a few days before, we may have seen Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes...!


Well still nothing to do at work. Maybe if you're lucky I'll fill out one of those super long surveys and post it here. Maybe...