welp I really need to start going to bed earlier but it's not even 2! Of course I'm not tired. I'm currently addicted to Webshots.com. I reached my daily download limit of 5 per day. Isn't that upsetting????? I wish I cared enough to get the Webshots Unlimited. My life is seriously so not interesting, I feel bad that people actually take time to read this, but thanks! The lovely Diana Krall just popped up on my buddy list. I'm glad for my new-found jazz discovery. Have you tried some jazz lately? Rememeber when we were all at Mike's for the first dinner party and Teres was like obsessed with listening to jazz on 88.7? GO BEAST!!!!


What to say.......hmmmmm...I haven't been home much this year and it is strange. Like I've probably been home three times, and I'm probably only gonna go home like two more times until Christmas. I feel like I have a concert every weekend. The life of a muuuusic major.

My roommate just walked in and I'm sitting here in my underwear. I love that I completely disregard the fact that one of the walls of my room is completely consumed by a window. Who doesn't walk around in their underwear whenever possible?!


I listened to the new John Mayer cd a little. Has anyone else heard it? I liked the first couple tracks, they were really mellow. The first album has such good songs on it, I hope this one is just as good.

I think this year I want to get like really good at singing. I think my last couple lessons have been good and my practicing has been going well. I know I am decent, but I feel like I would like to just be better and have more people aware of that fact. I feel like just because I'm not in an opera or taking Vocal Ped or whatever that I'm not really anything special. Maybe I'm not, haha, but I want to make more of an effort this year to be better than before. So everyone, WATCH OUT FOR THE DIVA! hahaha...definitely not. I seriously don't even think I could even pretend to be a diva. What a ridiculous thing to do. I just want to be the greatest singer on Earth. Is that so hard?

The Swingle Singers was so fun. I can't get over it. I want to sing with them again! DPL gave us the music that includes the part that they sang, which is sooo hard. They do like all the instrumental and percussion things with their voices. We're NEVER going to be nearly as good as them but it'll be fun to at least try. I love getting new music to learn.

Ok I'm going to put on my "slow jams" list and try to fall asleep. I love muuuuuusic. "more than woooooooooords is all you have to dooooooo to make it real then you wouldn't have to say that you loooooove me cuz III'd alreeeeeady know..." yes that song just came on. I always think of Jill and Teres when I hear this song (not my lesbianic tendencies, but because of their Europe trip) =P ok NIGHT!!

first of all could jill and mike's entries be funnier? i just can't top that! you guys are hyterical. jesse i'm honored that you enjoy reading our journals! everyone else should follow in your lead. well except the people who i want to talk about in here, heh ehehhhhhhhhhh....


So as you can read in Mike's journal entry, we had a good time this weekend. mmmm the swingle singers rock my world! they are coming back in february, well to Geneva. I can't wait. FIELD TRIP. The rest of my weekend pretty much consisted of planning my listening lesson for my Elementary Methods class. I seriously worked on the thing for like 12 hours straight, maybe stopping for an hour and a half to eat and stuff. I think it will be worth it fo rmy grade and everything. It was a fun lesson, the "kids" seemed to enjoy it. oops pat is calling me and gonna yell so i'll update more later.

it's Wednesday night, yes, a SCHOOL night and I am wide awake at 20 to 3. I guess there have been a zillion and one things on my mind lately and I think they are all flooding out at once. some things on my mind include...


1. my listening lesson for Monday's Methods class. I really remember listening lessons being so boring when I was in school, and I refuse to be boring, haha...it's gonna be interesting!!!!! maybe some yoga mixed with a little Harry Connick and Jimmy Eat world. does it get better than that????

2. this amazing cd i just put together of some original MK music. just ask for a listen. I should really go into composition. heheheh

3. "loooooooove!" (or lack thereof)

4. Lauren, of course...I've had some really great times with some people lately that have been very therapeutic and I thank everyone for that. I miss her so much. It's been so amazing, the outpouring of emotion I've seen from people who barely even knew her, and who just heard about her from other people. That's how great she was...we love you so much.

5. I have to sing this really sexist song tomorrow. I'm this girl singing about how wonderful and noble this man is, and I'm such a lowly maiden, he will never know me, but I will always be blissful just knowing how wonderful and strong he is, even if my heart breaks, who cares? .......blahblahblah. Pathetic, eh??? I mean I know what admiring someone is like but to just back off and give up...HELLO!!!!!! it's the nineties! Well ya know, close enough.

6. Mike is coming to Fredonia and meeting me in the amphitheater on Friday afternoon. So random! But so fun = ) I have a concert that night with the Swingle Singers, WOOO BIG DEAL STUFF!! Tickets are expensive, so thanks for going, whomever goes! My parentals are coming to see it too, they're so cute! They're here so often, haha. :0)




Nothing else that's major. I miss everyone from home. JEN I LOVE YOU and you-know-who is a moron!!!!! MORON I SAY!!!!!! He is blowing such an opportunity! UGH! I love Pat for installing this MusicNow thing on my computer. thanks =) I love Chris and Lindsay for providing me with new music to listen to. I love penguins for merely existing. I love many others for things too but I don't want to get into that cuz it's late, although frankly, I'm not tired anyway! I love About a Boy, what a great movie. Brad is sitting NDA and not talking to me, who does that????? Ok maybe I'll go to sleep now? maybe I stop for blood analysis? goodnight! Jill update your journal!

Read the entry before this, before reading this one. I don't know how to make paragraphs and it looks terrible all squished together. The previous entry is a copy of an e-mail I sent out to some friends from home. It's easier than typing it out again.... The last few days have been the hardest days of my life. And even after the services, it really hasn't hit me...the whole situation is still so unreal. The wake was soooo crowded. I've never seen anything like it. We waited outside in the parking lot for over an hour just to get in to see her. We were all okay until we got close the room, and there were several collages of pictures of Lauren, and I couldn't help but start to sob. There was a big picture in the front that had to have been her senior picture. It was such a beautiful picture. It was very hard for me to look at. I was so grateful that Sean was there before I turned the corner to go into the actual room she was laid in. Sean is amazing. He is just amazing. He hugged me while I cried and held himself together so well. Her family was very calm when I greeted them, too, which was hard, since every person in there was a basket case. The funeral service the next day was very nice. We all were pretty composed until her younger sister came up and spoke. She told the congregation that despite all the anger and pain they feel, one thing that their family finds comfort in is Sean. I thought that was perfect and absolutely wonderful to say. Sean has always been and will continue to be one of the greatest people I've been blessed to know. It's so true what a comfort he is, to everyone. We love Sean soooo much, and want nothing but for him to be exactly the person he is, since I can't imagine a better way for anyone to be. During the meditation, past and present Chamber Singers sang 'The Lord Bless You and Keep You', which we end every concert with. I didn't know if I could make it, but before we began, I looked at her sister, and even though she had tears in her eyes, she was smiling. She looked peaceful, and that's what made me get through the song. Lauren would be pissed if we cried too hard and sounded bad, anyway. =0)

So now we're back, and tomorrow will be back to normal, with classes and everything. I thought the worst was over, but now I don't know...the reality hasn't sunk in. Lauren was so amazing, wonderful to be around, a great singer, so much fun...just someone that can't be replaced, ever. And the fact that I'm not going to see her every day in Mason...well, it just isn't believable. I could go on forever saying this stuff. Looking across that rehearsal room and not seeing her there (and not making faces at each other about DPL) is going to be sooo difficult. She truly was one of the greatest people I've ever known. For the nineteen years she was alive, she was truly amazing. She lived life so completely. The love between her and Sean was unlike anything I've ever felt or seen, even if it was short. Lauren loved Sean with all her heart, and how many people have felt that at 19? We should all be so lucky to find someone so perfect for us. She was amazing. We will miss her for the rest of our lives, and the pain isn't going to fade quickly. I know that the wonderful memories of her will live past the sorrow and grief. Anyone who knew her was lucky, and they know it. We love Lauren sooooo much, and nothing can ever take that away. She will always live in our hearts, our music, our prayers, and our memories. We love you and miss you sooooo much Lauren...so much...

I want to fall in love again, and more.


I want to go to London again.


I want to frolic with penguins in Antarctica (or somewhere warmer.)


I want to see Jimmy Eat World in concert as many times as possible.


I want to be fallen in love with.


I want to always be happy with who I am, what I look like, who I'm with, and what I'm doing with my life.


I want Mike and I to hang out perpetually my senior year of college =0)

I want to be loved and respected by the students I plan to have eventually, and to really show people how much I love music and the great things it brings to people.





a beginning to a list of things I want to do...jst brainstorming today. I want to keep up with this journal, haha, but that's proving to be a little difficult. ta-ta for now.