My Nonna passed away this morning.I'm sure you've all read about it in (e:paul) journal and I've been wanting to write about it for the last few days about everything that happened but just don't' kjnow what to say. All I can say right now is she was an amazing lady...she was the nicest like most always thoughtful lady but ina totally sincere way. She would excuse anythign we did...I see this family tree picture frame sittting here that I had gotten her last year and was putting together the photos to put in it. I kept putting it off because I thought oh there will be more time and now there isn't. Its so sad that she devoted her whole life to everyone else and in a year I couldtn' even find the time to put together this photo frame. It will always haunt me.

SHe was so excited about my graduatin. It is all she ahs been talking about for months. She only went to school utnil second grade and so college graduation impressed her so muhc. She was so proud and she coldn't wait ot go out and celebrate my graduation. I am so sad that she coudn't see it. THe image of her grabbing me and looking despereately for help when i found yher in her ktichen will be frozen in my mind for the rest of my life. I don't htink I can ever forget it. Why did it have to happen then? Why couldn't we at least have had that one last nice day celebrating the hone thigns she had been waiting so long for.

Teres and Jll left for Eurpoe today. THey will be gone for six months so my my support system is gone. Marykate leaves tomorrow for a month. Timing for all this coudln't be worse. I honesly don't know how I am going to make it through. Right now I am a total wreck.I don't know if this is all waht i wanted to say at all , this was not the tribute I planned but it will come later maybe........NONNA I LOVE YOU...YOU WERE THE BEST NONNA ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!!! On her table was the note she wrote me fro my graudtion. SHe must have just finsihed it as she hadn't transfered it to the card yet.....I'm glad at least I will always have that...she wrote it in Italian because I have finally learned Italian...too bad I will never be able to use it with er..........

I'm staying at PMT's crack mansion for the week while they are on vacation. I have to make sure their zoo house of animals survives without them. Thankfully (e:matt) did all the cricket feeding that needs to be doen for the week so I don't have to touch those scary jumping creatures!! This apt is much nicer than their old one in style and niceness but I liked the old one better because it was more in the middle of things. LIke there were always people walking by and I could go outside and see people and take walks. ALthough this one is only like a block away it seems like a different world. Plus, at the old one there were plenty of random visitors stopping by b/c they were in the neighboorhood, that doesn't seem to happen here....soo feel free to stop by and remember THIS SATURDAY AT OFF THE WALL: GOODBYE TERES AND JILL PARTY!!! Everyone must attend, it is like an order! Ok that's all for now

One paper left for this place we call Canisius! So why can't I start it? The teacher just extended the deadline from 5 today to 5 tomorrow so you know what that means more procrastination. So am I not starting it because I fear the future and what it brings and don't want to be finished with college. Is it a deep psychological desire to preserve what I have and not accept change and moving on? Or am I just a lazy procrastinator? I'll let the public decide for themselves on this one....

So tomorrow is my last day of undergrad college classes at Canisius!!! How insane!! College flew by and I can't belive it is over. I don't think all the tears will be shed like they were at highschool graduation but it is still crazy. I didn't think I would really care as I didn't get that attached to this school but lately I am starting to get upset about it!!! Well here's hoping that my last day tomorrow is a good one and Quad Party is superbly extraordinarily fun for my last time!!! Its already starting as a good day as I just checked my Canisius e-mail and found out I won $200 in a drawing for this test that they needed seniors to take about critical thinking. I wonder what I will do with it. Actually probably pay for my car repairs but still that is exciting!!!

OK because of Littleho's entry I am going to turn a sad event into a good one. So this weekend was kinda crappy because of some miscommunication or noncommunication. I kinda hate how things ended and wish we could have talked about it or something. I am very confused by the whole situation and I hope we get to talk again and work it out and be friends or sometyhing. I hope you had a good bday anyway and you know who you are!!! Anyway, now the positive....With the money I saved this weekend by not taking out to dinner and by returning the gifts I can give myself a nice little shopping spree!!! Shopping Sprees always make me feel better. I could use some sunglasses, shorts, summerwear in general. I need new flip flops too. By the by, I went to Kohl's the other day and it was not fantastic. It actually is really far down Niagara Falls Blvd (and i missed it the first time and ended up al lthe way at the Outlet mall before turning around) but also it was kinda just like bleh. They had some cheap stuff but nothing great and I hate the setup and the carts. I'm sorry but department stores just aren't built for carts!!!!!!!!! There is no room in the little aisles!! I like my department stores to be department store -like not discount store like , then I can just go to Target. Maybe I care about my store setups too much. Anyway this weekend I plan on having some shopping fuN!!!!!