For the last few days, for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not that close with anyone. Like I feel I don't know, just not that close with anyone. Not that I'm not talking to people or fighting with people, I just don't feel that close. Like I feel like if I was not around no one's life would be any different or worse off. I have never felt that before. Like even if it was kinda self-centered I always felt like I really mattered and my friends lives would be much to the worse or at least much different without me but lately I don't feel that way. I feel like I could dissappear and noone would even really notice. Who knows, I'll prbably get over it soon. Maybe it is just my natural reaction to knowing that everyone will be leaving soon and growing up and so I need to part emotionally. I don't know. But recently I just feel so unimportant in everyone's lives and it makes me sad.

So I am sorta in charge of this spaghetti dinner fundraiser that sociology club is having on April 17. We're were originally going to use like premade spaghetti sauce and just cook the pasta ourselves but Olive Garden said they may supply the food which is exciting. That would I'm sure make many more people come for a cheap olive garden dinner. Anywho, this whole thing seems like a lot of work but I enjoy it. It reminds me of back in the day when I was in every club and had something going on all the time. It is kinda fun. Its making me wish that maybe I would have gotten involved in other things in college before three months before the end of my senior year. Ehh , too late now. By the way, does anyone have any connections to stores or businesses that you think would like to donate prizes (like giftcards or anything) to the dinner becasue we are also making it a raffle and karoake contest I think. It is all very preliminary planning even though it is planned for April 17, though we have no firm commitment on a location, food, funding, or anything. I hope it goes good, it would be sad if the one thing I did in my college career was a failure. Fundraising is fun! I'm glad to be back in the swing of things.

Went to see the Lion King for Yosepha's birthday tonight. I thought it was really cool like they way they did all the animals and especially the beginning with all the animals and the elephant (I love elephants!!!). I didn't love any of the songs that they added that weren't in the movie though. And what was the random like gay-dance club number in the middle of Be Prepared. Tre Odd!

This weekend was crazy hectic with many things. Mary Kate is an amazing singer and though like I knew she could sing I never guess I heard or really realized how amazing she really was until her recital. WOW!!! and then fun ensued at Opera Night and then the bar. (Sorry we stole the last of those super scrumptious peanut butter cookies, ok we left you and Julie one, we have a a little compassion you know). Haha, if you ever see (e:MK) ask her what she keeps in her sheep backpack!

At my sociology honors society induction thing this morning my one professor asked me to present a paper I wrote last semester at a thing at Buff State which is exciting. It is about PMT and about three people relationships, it is an ethnography of a three people relationship and how that changes the dynamics and waht society thinks and stuff. I'm excited to do it. I've never had to present a paper in an importnat way before.

My grandma is home from the hospital though my mom and/or dad have to be tghere 24/7 at least for now until they are sure she can live on her own. But still its good that she is home. Ok its time for me to get to my work that i couldn't do all weekend cuz of all the events!!!

Ok now I know I have praised Mel my honors seminar professor in the past on here but grr. So I was up until liek al ittle after 5am to finsih this reading journal that was due and then I had to go to work at 8 and then right to school at 230 for his class. Well after i spent about lke 15hours on the stupid journal cuz i am doing not my best in the class right now , he decides he's notgoign to collect it itl next week!! Grrr! At least I guess it is good that it is done becuae otherwise i would just put that plus the new assignment off until next Monday night but still it was aggravating.

ok, so i live for awards shows and frankly the Oscars are my heaven. Sure I love the daytime emmy's but the Oscars are just a cut above the rest in my heart. Anyway last night was a total dissappointment. First off, I hate that Joan Rivers has been banished to the TV Guide channel which comes in foggy and in black and white on my tv. Second what the heck were they thinking having Melissa Rivers just like circle body parts and hair styles and writing over the people while Joan was interviewing. E! was no better with stupid Starr Jones ridiculously fawning over everyone like they were her hero and best friend, plus she was showing a little too much back fat for that dress. And Kathy Griffin, I hate her, she is nothing more than a glorified fart joke. Starr and Kathy are no Joan and Melissa , heck Joan and Melissa are no Joan and Melissa anymore with the craptastic TV Guide Channel. Technical difficulties abounded during the preshow (and continued in the real show) and at one point Joan had no idea who someone was cuz she wasn't cued right and made them introduce themselves (ok this was entertaingin but still not quality)
Then the real show began and Chris Rock was pretty boring, they were worried about him being controversial but he didn't even say really anything, it seemed liek he had much less screen time than past hosts. Did anyone else notice he made fun of people who weren't there like Jude Law (and why does Sean Penn always have to pick a fight even if it was fun to watch). There were too many times when yo ucould hear things like crashing backstage and other technical mishaps. AND WHAT THE HECK IS IT WITH THIS you're award is not that importnat so we will just give it to you in your seat so your back is to half the audience. And what about the Survivor like way they presented the awards to people who had to stand on stage as one was picked as the winner. Really this just further separated like um really only the celebritites are important we just are forced to give awards in your categories cuz you pay your dues.
And what about Whoppie Goldberg as the person who go to do the tribute to Jonny Carson? WHAT? HOw do they pick these things?
And most annoying of all! WHy was Beyonce singing all the songs. She obviously had no idea what the French words meant and she was just craptastic all around. And why did Antonio Banderas get to sing that guy's song when the guy was in the audinece and was so muhc better at it. You could tell the ugy was pissed, as he should be. Joan commented in the preshow that the real guy was way better than Antonio and should have sang. GO JOAN! Anywho, the whole thing was pretty crappy with many duplicate dresses and boring ensembles. Give me more next year Oscars or I'm going to have to find a new award show to worship!!!