(e:Mike) I love you. I want you to know that you are really important to me. My life would not be the same without you. I know it doesn't seem true since I've been away at school, but you really are so important. You were the first (and so far only) person I have called since I've been home. When you came to visit me at school I suddenly felt so much more at home, even though I have been living there for three years. I know that I am not fun and I don't go out much so it's me saying this doesn't make you feel better and I'm sorry. But just know that if you ever need someone to talk to or hang out with, I'm here for you.

Okay, this may seem like just another silly excuse for why I am incapable of doing work but I HATE MY DESK! It is the worst possible set-up to do work on. First of all, it is made for left handed people. The drawers and everything are on the left. That means I have to situate my computer on the right half and all of my papers on the left. It's so annoying because I can't write anything while I am sitting in front of my computer. Furthermore, it is uneven. It wobbles up and down, and not by a little either- by A LOT. I have put things under the legs but they get kicked out or something and so the wobbling continues. My printer doesn't even fit on my desk so I have to put it on top of my dresser. I know it's not really worth complaining about but it's annoys me so much when I am trying to do work and I don't have a place to put anything.

At home I have a wonderful desk. The printer is in a little drawer and all my papers can fit on either side. Even when I lived in the dorms I had a better desk than now. They were great. Come to think of it, I want one of the those. I should see where they get them from. The only problem with replacing my craptastic desk is that I live on the third floor. Moving anything in or out of my apartment is such a huge pain. I should just stick it out intil June when I get out of here to avoid the hassle. Ugh...

Ahhhhh. I am so mad/sad because I just realized today that my favorite professor was teaching a course this term and I missed it. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal but it really is. You see, I took a class with Prof Chalmers Clark my freshmen year in philosophy and I totally feel in love with him. Not actually love, but more total adoration. He is a sweet 60 year old man who loves what he teaches and has a kind sense of humor. I just thought he was so nice. I even tried to fix him up with one of my mom's friends! Alas, he already had "a sweetheart waiting for him back home." How cute is that?!

Anyway, he was just visiting that year to teach one class because he is from schenectady and his mom was sick so he had to take care of her. Again, how cute!? So when he left I didn't take any other philosphy courses and I have been searching the course listings ever since to see if he returned, but he was never listed. THen, today when I was waiting for a friend I saw a sign on a door that said "Prof Clark has cancelled philosophy 113 because of the snow." At first I wondered whether it was the same person (obviously there are a lot of Clark's). So, like the loser I am, I raced to the nearest computer and looked up the course listing and found that he is teaching not one but TWO classes this term at Union. He even has a little bio online as a visiting prof. I was sad because I thought his mom might be sick again, and even more sad because I would have taken one of his classes if the stupid registrar hadn't listed him as "Staff" when we were selecting our courses. But more than anything else I was glad other people got have him as a prof. I used to tell people about him and how great he was. I always hoped my enthusiastic course evaluation would encourage Union to bring him back to us.

Anyway, now I will just have to feel sad that I missed him. It was my last chance to ever have a course with my chum Chalmers. I will miss him getting way to excited about philospohy and swinging his arms wildly with his shirt that has sweat stains on it. Oh, Chalmers...

Here is the bio he put on my school's website (I especially love the last sentence!):


Chalmers Clark will split his time at Union and as Visiting Fellow in Philosophy and with the Institute for Social & Policy Studies at Yale University. His background is in the naturalized epistemology of W. V. Quine. His interest is to extend Quine's scientific holism into the domain of moral and political thought. The result has been research and publication in several interdisciplinary forms. Current work is on trust relations in the professions (medicine especially), the professions as stewards of public trusts, and the role public trusts play in the basic structure of a free society. After class, Chalmers practices (not plays) the violin, runs (slowly), and looks for short cuts to logic problems.

Lately I feel like I am in a tough spot. You know when you have to say something that is going to make someone unhappy and you would do anything to avoid it but it's one of those things that has to be done? That's how I feel. There are only a few things in life that I would really not be willing to compromise if I knew that it would make someone I cared about happy, but it seems like this is one of them. I hate being in the position to upset someone. ahhhhckkk.

Thesis is not going to be done on time.

I'm teaching a class Friday that I know nothing about.

Interview on Monday that I don't want to go to.

Stressing because Buffalo is so freakin mismanaged.

that's all, thank goodness