a few years ago, i used to have these really scary dreams in that half awake state just before i would fall into rem sleep. in these dreams, an angry man/monster would stand over my bed and prevent my arms and legs from moving. i'd try to scream, but nothing came out. and slowly, the less i resisted, i would come fully awake scared shitless. i really thought i was going crazy for a while, especially when my grandmother started visiting me in these dreams (those weren't scary, but it was weird because she's no longer living).

then, i told a friend about these dreams and he asked if the scary man ever spoke to me. no, he never did. but that night, a monk with a cowl covering his face stood at the end of my bed and chanted a message to me. i forgot the message in the morning, but it was very important and at the time seemed like the key to happiness, or something. but more importantly, in the morning i also realized that as soon as it was suggested to me that the visitors might try to communicate with words, they did so. i realized it was all in my mind and the scary dreams stopped immediately.

once or twice since moving to buffalo, i've had that dream again, of the man standing over me, but i haven't taken it seriously since i know how to wake myself up and get out of the situation. i'm pretty sure these dreams are symptomatic of being unsettled with some aspect of my life.

last night, i had a different kind of dream, but it fits into this category because i woke up still tingling in physical reaction and also fully believing in what i had just experienced. it's kind of strange, but i was channelling steve so that he could communicate with five women, all of them unsettled souls. two of the women shared the same body, one of them holding a wooden spoon. i have no clue what was said, but i did have super strong visual images from this dream. when i woke up, my body was in the same position (head resting on crossed arms), but it felt like every nerve ending in my skin was stimulated.

so, i've thought about this dream all day long. i thought i'd share it with you.

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i meant to post this last night, but i lost my connection and then decided i might as well go to bed.

robin, i'm glad you had a good time with keith. i could have helped with the singing. did you also do the motions to father abraham?

this is a box too. mostly, boxes don't talk back. as you see, even im refuses to interact with me.

now that i'm talking less and less to people, i'm talking more and more to boxes. i refuse to worry about it.

so i devoted today to watching 2 vampire movies.

i picked up Nosferatu at random in the DMS library either yesterday or today (it's summer and days run together). i watched it in bits today, in between doing the dishes, good day live, and finishing my grading.

it was my second silent film this week (the other being passion of joan of arc on friday at BPO -- good, but for a rave review ask holly) and i dug it. that max schrek is quite the vampire, let me tell you. very convincing and i just loved the whole thing anyway. i'm not much for the horror films of today, but i really like this one.

then, while processing, i remember back to my senior year of college when a friend of my was excited about willem defoe being in a movie about nosferatu. so i imdb-ed it to get the title and took the short walk to dvd dot and rented shadow of the vampire.

dude, that was super cool. willem defoe and john malkovich and a little cary elwes to appease my 13 yr old princess bride loving self. the final few scenes (esp. the last one) were a little overdone, and maybe not so convincing that f.w. murnau really did hire a vampire, but i say watch it -- if you haven't -- and tell me what you think.

hmmm... vampires.
i also had a dream last night that i was lending anne rice books to someone. this is a bit odd and goes in my book of coincidence. these themes appear for a reason.