my pal lindsay was visitng this weekend. we had good times in niagra falls yesterday, even though the weather was kind of iffy. then to the astronaut party.

linds said earlier that she'd just leave when she wanted to go. she had to leave buffalo early this morning to get her dog out of a kennel. so when we moved from julie's to the pink, she headed for my apt. but i felt bad about it. why did i want to drink more than hang out with my good friend who lives in philly? i have messed up priorities.

but most worst is that after the pink, i was walking home with tom and he wanted to see my place, or something, i guess, so he came up and linds let us in, then went back to bed and we had a drink and talked and talked. a couple hours later, she woke up and said she was going to leave for philly at 6am instead of 7 since she was awake anyway.

so she did and i didn't get a chance to properly apologize for being a shitty friend. i hate being drunk around people who aren't.

oh well, i need to write her a letter and apologize. but i'm still trying to wake up. i'm so glad school is over and i don't have to worry about tomorrow. tom stayed till 7am or so, until i was falling asleep while talking. (a similar situation to being drunk and talking to the sober). sorry, tom.

it's just better to be in control of your faculties in front of other people, even if they are your friends.

i am sad that julie's going away for the summer. she wil miss the happenings at the pink and all else that buffalo offers in summertime (i can't wait). but also she'll be having her own rad time in AK, away up north.

i'm thinking of this cause i just saw her new primary pic on friendster. she's in her winter coat. makes me realize that she'll be in alaska this time next week. wearing her winter coat, i assume.

but she'll come back. buffalo's a fine place and it would be the same without her.

she better come back.

churchofjulie also has her website posted, featuring pics of the weddings at city hall. go check it out


good night

today i want to clean. haven't pulled out all the stops (floors, windows, nooks&cranies) since living here. but i'm home and i'm not cleaning. i'm just thinking about cleaning and that seems to be just as good as cleaning. except that then my apartment isn't actually clean and i'll have to think about cleaning it all over again tomorrow. thinking about cleaning is actually more exhausting than doing the physical work. i should know--i've been thinking about cleaning for about 3 weeks now. i guess i should just roll up my sleeves and get to work.

i think i've read and watched high fidelity too many times.

i've thought this many times in my life.

i used to be a dj at my college radio station and my listeners were veteran music buffs who said i had i good show. but even if i consider myself to have good taste in music, it doesn't mean that i know very much about music.

but i would love to know a lot about music.

but it's a similar crisis to paul's crisis with digital media (which i've also had many times). music and DM are dynamic fields. there is constantly something out there that's new to learn, to pick up, to know about.

knowledge takes too much energy sometimes.

but i still love digital media and i still love rock n roll.

that's why i'm glad i went to Mohawk Place tonight. i only saw/heard one song by the famed kimya -- it was very good. also caught the butchies set. it was good music, good rock n roll. get your fist in the air.

but it also made me sad that i don't know about music. not even the little bit i used to know when i was a once a week DJ. i want to work at championship vinyl, man. get me a job at empire records. anything.

in the real world, i'd enquire at home of the hits. but in the real world, i know i don't know enough for them. knowledge and the lack of it are both burdens.

if it weren't for the cover charges, i might consider making mohawk place, or even nietches my new home. but i can barely afford rent as it is, let alone weekly fees for live music.

but i do love it so. rock n roll buffalo.

my new digital poem, ActiveReader is up and ready.

dreamdilation.com/artintro.html


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