Blah. I feel like my brain is so full that I can't even think straight. I stopped having coherent thoughts at about 4pm then I had to go to one more class and think in another language. I was so lost. I tried to speak and it just couldn't get what I wanted to say out. I need more brain power. I'm so out of it right now. Tonight I have to write a two page composition about my classmates "en buen español". Not sure I can do it considering I can barely write this.
I'm still working on the "railing". (e:mk) and (e:mike) came to see me working. Mk said she thought it would be smaller. Do you know how long I have been removing all of the paint I had put on? I don't know either, but a long time! I hate the railing, I hate the railing, I hate the....
Libertad's Journal
My Podcast Link
09/12/2006 18:52 #25825
Brain dead09/08/2006 22:10 #25824
Goodbye UdayToday my fish died. It was sad to say goodbye. He was a Bolivian Ram and was a little over two years old. I have beautiful pictures of him on my phone, but can't get them onto the site. Here is a pic of what they look like. I lifted it off this site 
The female is now left alone with the 3 Sunburst Platy fish and the dwarf frog. I'm not sure how she feels. They must feel something right? They tried multiple times having babies, but each time it was a devastating disaster. I think she may have even hated him for eating her babies all the time. They almost made it once. Now she is alone. When I first got them they were very happy together. Always swimming in unison. It was amazing that I even managed to get a pair. They are very hard to sex as adults, let alone as juveniles and the male female ratio is unbalanced.
It's hard not to want to blame yourself when you are the one in control of their environment. I always felt bad that I didn't have a larger tank. I have a 20 gallon tall, when I at least should have gotten the 20 gallon wide tank. They swim along the bottom and like to roam around. Having fish is sort of sad, you always wonder if they are happy. I mean unless you have some humungo tank. The other fish seem healthy, maybe it was just time to go.
I wish I could show you his pic. He was so beautiful at times. There colors change a lot. Sometimes they have the most beautiful colors other times they look completely washed out. He hasn't shown his colors in a long time. They have these different color bands in their dorsal fins. Red white and blue...so beautiful.
I'm not getting anymore fish. Since I don't know where my life will be in the future, I don't want to acquire anymore.
OK, I know it is strange to name your fish after such a disgusting person, but for some reason it seemed to fit. I kind of like the name and decided not to let some jerk own it.
The female is now left alone with the 3 Sunburst Platy fish and the dwarf frog. I'm not sure how she feels. They must feel something right? They tried multiple times having babies, but each time it was a devastating disaster. I think she may have even hated him for eating her babies all the time. They almost made it once. Now she is alone. When I first got them they were very happy together. Always swimming in unison. It was amazing that I even managed to get a pair. They are very hard to sex as adults, let alone as juveniles and the male female ratio is unbalanced.
It's hard not to want to blame yourself when you are the one in control of their environment. I always felt bad that I didn't have a larger tank. I have a 20 gallon tall, when I at least should have gotten the 20 gallon wide tank. They swim along the bottom and like to roam around. Having fish is sort of sad, you always wonder if they are happy. I mean unless you have some humungo tank. The other fish seem healthy, maybe it was just time to go.
I wish I could show you his pic. He was so beautiful at times. There colors change a lot. Sometimes they have the most beautiful colors other times they look completely washed out. He hasn't shown his colors in a long time. They have these different color bands in their dorsal fins. Red white and blue...so beautiful.
I'm not getting anymore fish. Since I don't know where my life will be in the future, I don't want to acquire anymore.
OK, I know it is strange to name your fish after such a disgusting person, but for some reason it seemed to fit. I kind of like the name and decided not to let some jerk own it.
09/04/2006 00:04 #25823
A series of phone callsToday was crazy. Not that I don't have close relationships with my gradparents, but it is extremely rare to get a phone call from any of them, let alone two on the same day. My parents had children very young and luckily I still have all four of my grandparents. While I was attending the first Sunday of every month Kosen-rufu (loosely translated=world peace) Buddhist meeting, my mother called 2x's and then her father called and then my father's mother called. My phone was vibrating nonstop!
Of course I begin to wonder if something is wrong. I'm always a worrier. For example, yesterday I was terrified that my Dad's parents would get flooded out from the cottage. It was in 1972 that hurricane Agnes flooded and the water level reached the top of the 2nd floor of our cottage. The Farmers Almanac predicted flooding in September of this year as it predicted flooding in June when the Susquehanna flooded Binghampton.
Of course, nothing was wrong. My mother's father called just to talk. I can't remeber him ever calling me before. We had a great time when he was 14 and he was 57 and we rode our bikes from Rochester to Binghampton. He just turned 70 last week.
My father's mother called because she had heard I was worried of flooding. The water level is high she says, but they will not have to evacuate. I believe she is 80 now. I'll have to confirm. Anyways, we had a great conversation. I told her I couldn't answer the phone because I was at the Buddhist meeting. My grandmother is Catholic, as I was raised, and we had a wonderful conversation about religion. She told me how she tells her friends that her oldest grandson is a Buddhist. It really made me happy, because I have always worried that they wouldn't accept me for who I am. I think Catholicism gets that rap because of certain people, but she has always accepted me for who I am. I told her that I haven't forgotten my Catholic background and that I still hold a high regard for their faith. She in turn told me that she is happy that I have found something and thinks it is important. My grandparents have always lived a life worth admiring. I'm not sure if they have any regrets, but as far as I see it, they have lived a model life up to this point. They have truly used the Catholic faith to their benefit. We both agreed on the phone, that all of the religions are susceptible to abuse.
I was soo terrified when I was younger that I was gay, because I thought my Grandparents would reject me. I was wrong. They have never once made me feel as if I were going to hell and they are the best Christians I know. How fortunate I am in this regard.
I almost forgot. My mother called because she booked my tickets to see her in Florida for the holidays. I'll be leaving Dec. 28th and coming back on the 4th of the new year.
Of course I begin to wonder if something is wrong. I'm always a worrier. For example, yesterday I was terrified that my Dad's parents would get flooded out from the cottage. It was in 1972 that hurricane Agnes flooded and the water level reached the top of the 2nd floor of our cottage. The Farmers Almanac predicted flooding in September of this year as it predicted flooding in June when the Susquehanna flooded Binghampton.
Of course, nothing was wrong. My mother's father called just to talk. I can't remeber him ever calling me before. We had a great time when he was 14 and he was 57 and we rode our bikes from Rochester to Binghampton. He just turned 70 last week.
My father's mother called because she had heard I was worried of flooding. The water level is high she says, but they will not have to evacuate. I believe she is 80 now. I'll have to confirm. Anyways, we had a great conversation. I told her I couldn't answer the phone because I was at the Buddhist meeting. My grandmother is Catholic, as I was raised, and we had a wonderful conversation about religion. She told me how she tells her friends that her oldest grandson is a Buddhist. It really made me happy, because I have always worried that they wouldn't accept me for who I am. I think Catholicism gets that rap because of certain people, but she has always accepted me for who I am. I told her that I haven't forgotten my Catholic background and that I still hold a high regard for their faith. She in turn told me that she is happy that I have found something and thinks it is important. My grandparents have always lived a life worth admiring. I'm not sure if they have any regrets, but as far as I see it, they have lived a model life up to this point. They have truly used the Catholic faith to their benefit. We both agreed on the phone, that all of the religions are susceptible to abuse.
I was soo terrified when I was younger that I was gay, because I thought my Grandparents would reject me. I was wrong. They have never once made me feel as if I were going to hell and they are the best Christians I know. How fortunate I am in this regard.
I almost forgot. My mother called because she booked my tickets to see her in Florida for the holidays. I'll be leaving Dec. 28th and coming back on the 4th of the new year.
metalpeter - 09/04/06 13:43
Yeah I preaty much agree with Josh. I think that real christians don't judge people and that it is really all about love. I think that christanty is not the only realigion that has been over time taken over and expolited and used for hate and judgement. I'm glad your family are good christians. Even though it is still months away I hope you have a great time on your trip.
Yeah I preaty much agree with Josh. I think that real christians don't judge people and that it is really all about love. I think that christanty is not the only realigion that has been over time taken over and expolited and used for hate and judgement. I'm glad your family are good christians. Even though it is still months away I hope you have a great time on your trip.
joshua - 09/04/06 10:48
Oh yeah - and partido is a word that I always get confused with partida in usage, which of course mean two completely different things.
Oh yeah - and partido is a word that I always get confused with partida in usage, which of course mean two completely different things.
joshua - 09/04/06 10:44
Damn, what a nice story - I can imagine how you might have been nervous having gotten phone calls from relatives like that. Even better that it unfolded into a great conversation with your grandma - when I get to talk to my grandma it makes me feel the same way.
I'm glad to hear that your grandmother accepts you for who you are - she is exhibiting the TRUE Christian ideal of what love means. There is alot of debate about what the church says is right and wrong, but for us I've always felt brought up in a church that regardless of peoples differences you have to accept them as you would like to be accepted. If I ever have children and one of them comes up to me with that lump in their throat, wanting to come out to me and is unsure about what I'd do or say, I'd sling my arm over their shoulder and tell him or her that regardless of their preferences that they are my flesh and blood and I could never abandon them. That is how a Christian is supposed to act! People that do otherwise are simply wrong and misguided. I'm very happy that you have a good set of grandparents still around and are putting love before all.
Damn, what a nice story - I can imagine how you might have been nervous having gotten phone calls from relatives like that. Even better that it unfolded into a great conversation with your grandma - when I get to talk to my grandma it makes me feel the same way.
I'm glad to hear that your grandmother accepts you for who you are - she is exhibiting the TRUE Christian ideal of what love means. There is alot of debate about what the church says is right and wrong, but for us I've always felt brought up in a church that regardless of peoples differences you have to accept them as you would like to be accepted. If I ever have children and one of them comes up to me with that lump in their throat, wanting to come out to me and is unsure about what I'd do or say, I'd sling my arm over their shoulder and tell him or her that regardless of their preferences that they are my flesh and blood and I could never abandon them. That is how a Christian is supposed to act! People that do otherwise are simply wrong and misguided. I'm very happy that you have a good set of grandparents still around and are putting love before all.
08/31/2006 21:07 #25821
Mikey is 23!
09/01/2006 15:46 #25822
La copa de la vidaSlowly I am getting my life back on track. As of like 2 minutes ago, I have reached full-time status and got into the Art History course that I needed for my degree in History. Registration closes tonight at 8pm, so this new development is a great relief. Money will be coming shortly which is most welcome.
As for a dual degree, the other being Spanish, I will have to wait and see. I need to meet with the Chair of Modern and Classical Languages to discuss my options.
In a health scare, I have learned that I do not have testicular cancer. The ultra-sound showed that I have a cyst (quite normal), and it does not have to be removed. I am advised to wear tighty whities. My health insurance was reinstated just in time to go to my appointment.
And lastly, with my job from hell, I have made some progress. I'm working on removing all of what I have allready painted from the metal railings with a paint stripper attached to my dad's drill. It is the most grueling process I could imagine. After it is to be removed I need to clean the railing with paint thinner and let it dry overnight. After that I have a mini roller, which will apply the paint at the correct thickness. I have bought a new paint to use; black satin from Rustoleum (Spelling?). Getting the time in to complete the job from hell is going to be difficult, but not impossible.
Just taking it all one step at a time. I am looking forward to my studies which include:
Art History (beginning with the Stone Age)
Advanced grammar and compostion (SPA)
The Civilization of Spain
Survey of Spanish American Literature
I love my courses being taught in Spanish. It is rapidly making me think in Spanish again. Art History is in english, but my professor's accent keeps me on my toes.
Bueno. Esta canción de Ricky Martin, me parece a mí, la una más apropriada para mi vida en este momento. No I did not change my user sound.
La Copa de la Vida
La vida es
Pura pasion
Hay que llenar
Copa de amor
Para vivir hay
Que luchar
Un Corazon
Para ganar
Como Cain Y Abel
Es un partido cruel
Tienes que pelear por una estrella
Consigue Con Honor
La Copa Del Amor
Para Sobrevivir Y Luchar Por Ella
Luchar Por Ella (SI!)
Luchar Por Ella (SI!)
Tu Y Yo!! Ale, Ale, Ale
Go, Go, Gol! Ale, Ale, Allez
Ariba va!! El Mundo Esta De pie
Go, Go, Gol!! Ale, Ale, Ale
La vida es competicion
Hay que Sonar ser campeon
La copa es la bendicion
La ganaras Go, Go, Go!
Tu instincto natural
Vencer a tu rival
Tienes que pelear por una estrella
Consigue con honor
La copa del amor
Para sobrevivir y luchar por ella
Luchar por ella (SI!)
Luchar por ella (SI!)
Tu Y Yo!! Ale, Ale, Ale
Go, Go, Gol! Ale, Ale, Allez
Ariba va!! El Mundo Esta De pie
Go, Go, Gol!! Ale, Ale, Ale
As for a dual degree, the other being Spanish, I will have to wait and see. I need to meet with the Chair of Modern and Classical Languages to discuss my options.
In a health scare, I have learned that I do not have testicular cancer. The ultra-sound showed that I have a cyst (quite normal), and it does not have to be removed. I am advised to wear tighty whities. My health insurance was reinstated just in time to go to my appointment.
And lastly, with my job from hell, I have made some progress. I'm working on removing all of what I have allready painted from the metal railings with a paint stripper attached to my dad's drill. It is the most grueling process I could imagine. After it is to be removed I need to clean the railing with paint thinner and let it dry overnight. After that I have a mini roller, which will apply the paint at the correct thickness. I have bought a new paint to use; black satin from Rustoleum (Spelling?). Getting the time in to complete the job from hell is going to be difficult, but not impossible.
Just taking it all one step at a time. I am looking forward to my studies which include:
Art History (beginning with the Stone Age)
Advanced grammar and compostion (SPA)
The Civilization of Spain
Survey of Spanish American Literature
I love my courses being taught in Spanish. It is rapidly making me think in Spanish again. Art History is in english, but my professor's accent keeps me on my toes.
Bueno. Esta canción de Ricky Martin, me parece a mí, la una más apropriada para mi vida en este momento. No I did not change my user sound.
La Copa de la Vida
La vida es
Pura pasion
Hay que llenar
Copa de amor
Para vivir hay
Que luchar
Un Corazon
Para ganar
Como Cain Y Abel
Es un partido cruel
Tienes que pelear por una estrella
Consigue Con Honor
La Copa Del Amor
Para Sobrevivir Y Luchar Por Ella
Luchar Por Ella (SI!)
Luchar Por Ella (SI!)
Tu Y Yo!! Ale, Ale, Ale
Go, Go, Gol! Ale, Ale, Allez
Ariba va!! El Mundo Esta De pie
Go, Go, Gol!! Ale, Ale, Ale
La vida es competicion
Hay que Sonar ser campeon
La copa es la bendicion
La ganaras Go, Go, Go!
Tu instincto natural
Vencer a tu rival
Tienes que pelear por una estrella
Consigue con honor
La copa del amor
Para sobrevivir y luchar por ella
Luchar por ella (SI!)
Luchar por ella (SI!)
Tu Y Yo!! Ale, Ale, Ale
Go, Go, Gol! Ale, Ale, Allez
Ariba va!! El Mundo Esta De pie
Go, Go, Gol!! Ale, Ale, Ale
mk - 09/02/06 15:24
Dave, my hair is indeed naturally curly and I had straightened in both that picture and my current user pic.
Dave, my hair is indeed naturally curly and I had straightened in both that picture and my current user pic.
mike - 09/01/06 17:10
That is my favorite song of all time! I love any music that is World Cup themed@!
That is my favorite song of all time! I love any music that is World Cup themed@!
chicoschica - 09/01/06 16:42
Hay que sonar
Sonar es sobrevivir
Never got to use Spanish much (esp in an immersion situation like living in Spain), but I can still make out a bit of it when I read it...I can always brush up with a learning CD or something.
(though I got an Italian one for Christmas and haven't used it yet...I should do that...)
Asi es la vida...
Hay que sonar
Sonar es sobrevivir
- sigh* My Spanish is so rusty - makes me a little melancholy - I had 5 years of Spanish in HS and college and I loved it. I even remember the name of my favorite poetry text book "Mosaico de la vida". I think it may still be in my mom's attic!
Never got to use Spanish much (esp in an immersion situation like living in Spain), but I can still make out a bit of it when I read it...I can always brush up with a learning CD or something.
(though I got an Italian one for Christmas and haven't used it yet...I should do that...)
Asi es la vida...
sorry to hear it. My betta died the other day... I'd had him for 3 years, and the guy at elmwood pet said they only live two years, so that made me feel a little less like a murderer. But he'd just stopped eating and his colors looked like crap. Then one day he was dead. Just a fish, I know, but he'd moved with me twice!