Not always fun or funny when emotions catch up with me. I try to be the brave soldier, but, hell, maybe my mom was right that i am just too sensitive and care too much.

Today has been better.

Painting for a coupla hours last night helped. Buying some more watercolours, a palette and a canvas today also helped.

Seeing the elephants and the new baby giraffee at the zoo helped some more.

Finding out that (e:Paul) then (e:Matthew) and (e:Terry) were asking about me when (e:Uncutsaniflush) was at 24 last night was nice to hear, too. You guys are swell. You were right, (e:Terry) .. sure do hope you haven't felt the same even a bit.

Mostly, knowing (e:Uncutsaniflush) is willing to bring me the stars and the moon if i need it always helps. More than i know at the time.

i feel that way today. overwhelmingly.

Doing my best to get over the crappy Friday i had. (e:Leetee,226)

Fortunately, i have a supportive and wonderful husband who brings up my sprits just when i need them. Thanks again for the lovely orange tulips, Sweeties.

Saturday we did some estate sales. On the way to one of them, we not only missed the road we were supposed to turn down, but the sign. Our alternate route led us right by the infamous Salvation Army As Is. So, we wandered in. Wow, is all i have to say.

Since i had a job working for them many many years ago, i never thought i would buy anything from them again.

At the SallyAnne in the Hammer, i worked for them filling requisites for people who lost everything in fires. I really thought it would be something that would make me feel like i was helping so much. Finding and giving people basics like coats and shoes as they stand in front of me shivering in robes and p.j.'s, often with soot smudges is humbling.

Sadly, the officers in that location were selfish pricks and kept the best donations for their personal residences. I haven't been in a Salvation Army location or given them any money since then. (e:Uncutsaniflush) tells me that he has never heard of anythign like that in any US location.

But i digress...

I've heard so many interesting stories from people who have gone into that Salvation Army As Is.....

We left $2 poorer. I now have a green vinyl space age 60's kitchen chair for my studio. I can paint sitting on my ass now.. without worrying about getting paint on a nice or expensive chair. Woohoo...

Today, we went for a nice drive. We ended up following 78 all the way up to Lake Ontario at Olcott Beach. Nice little place. Cute little shops. Almost bought a purse at a vintage shop... and a necklace at a Celtic shop.

Gorgeous day for a drive. Excellent company.

Listened to CFNY (i don't give a shit what they are trying to call themselves these days. Pah! 102.1 The Edge!? They will always been CFNY to me) most of the drive and their reruns of The Ongoing History of New Music, which are always entertaining. Makes me feel like sitting 'round the radio like it was 60 years ago... but i never have the patience to sit still that long. Being in a car, passengering (since i don't drive) is a good reason to listen to a radio show.

We stopped a park by the water, sat on a bench. looking at the water.

This is what we saw...


Have a Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, Ya'll!

I completed my first day on the job... a 5 hour shift. I'm not too tired, but yeah, my feet are a bit sore. Despite wearing the new Chucks. Been over 5 years since i have had a job. And this is the first one in this country. Weird getting up this morning....

Might mean i have to work on mine and (e:Uncutsaniflush) 's 5th wedding anniversary this Friday, though. We'll see. Sounds like normal life stuff and i reckon i should get used to it. Besides, we have had 4 anniversaries before it in which we could do anything we wanted... and hopefully many more to come in which we can run away somewhere.

Not that i want to get involved with all the drama... but the sentiment made my heart sink. No matter how mad and hurt someone is, why would they wish an innocent group of people a bad day?

Not a critizism, just a ponderance... i guess i'm more of an optomist. Or maybe i am just a bitch for pointing it out. Not the first time today i was told i am a bitch with an attitude problem...

Luckily, the whole day wasn't all shitty; just some of it.

The part that wasn't is that it is mine and (e:Uncutsaniflush) 's 5th wedding anniversary today. I consider myself to be a very lucky woman to have this man in my life. Sometimes, i feel very much like it's me and him against the world -- just like a cheesey top 40 song.

The shithole part all boils down to my own disappointment in myself. I lost my cool. I try not to and always try to keep a brave face on, but today, i told my now former boss to go to hell. I'm chagrinned my new job lasted a mere week.

I so much want to go on about one part of the drama of that place. Tell all the juicy gossip about it and ultimately why another staff member is needed. But, dispite what i think of the place and particularly it's owner, i will abide by my promise to the manager, Ethel, and not tell anyone. *pouty*

I was working at a gas station / convience store near here. Nothing too taxing. Merely standing at a cash register all day, ringing in gas orders, slices of semi-cold LaNova pizza, soda, beer, cigarettes and other bits of taudry bric-a-brac.

It's the kinda place that claims it can't afford a scanner for the UPC codes (despite the high end subdivision the owner "lives" in), so all the prices have to be memorized. I was told on my first day that i was not to write anything down. That it makes the customers think i am new (duh, aren't i?) and that i don't know what i am doing. I was told to ask if i didn't know, but that i had to "get those prices down" (as in memorize them).

So, i am told to not write prices down. To not ask her because she is busy with the owner's parents taking care of a problem. If i don't remember, i am supposed to... what? So, i cost them less than a dollar because of a price mix up. Yes, i said i was sorry. But i don't expect to be called stupid for not having the store prices memorized on day 4.

I think, in general, i can be and am an agreeable kinda person. When learning, i try to follow direction even when i don't fully understand and wait for things to fall into place, or for further direction.

When i am learning something and someone says to me directly, 'do this', i do it. If i am told to write down a specific number on a line of some paper work by the manager, i do it. When the math doesn't go right, and things are double checked only to find that line is pointed to as the problem i feel i have to say i was just doing what i am told. Normally, i don't expect to hear a laugh and an insult.

I got sick of being told that i am stupid. I got sick of being told to do one thing, then the next minute hearing something that contradicted that, then something that contradicted the first two.

Yesterday, a regular customer defended me. I was doing fine and didn't need someone to take over, tell me what to do and screw things up only to turn around and blame me. I could easily ring in a bag of chips, pizza and a soda without help. To push it all aside and order me to ring in 99 cents no tax won't help if i have already done it.

Today, when i told Ethel "that's it", she asked the next girl on shift if she had problems when Ethel was training her. "Did i give you any problems?" i think was the question. While facing me, Ethel's back to her, she said "no, not at all Ethel" while nodding, knowingly at me.

On my way home, a regular customer stopped me and told me that he knows about everything that happened and doesn't blame me one bit. Ethel may have worked there for 17 years, but she can't keep some of the staff.

Anyone hiring?