Some woman actually screamed this at my pregnant sister. I think she was crazy.

I made it to Canada’s Wonderland and checked out the Italian Job stunt track. It’s sweet. It’s a short ride and tops out at 30mph, but it’s full of tight banks, quick drops and a lovely dark twisty tunnel. The flame thrower and water bomb are a nice distraction, but my favorite detail is that the tiny little doors on the Minis actually open up!



I got this killer belt at one of the shops. I normally don’t buy tack from the shops but…. someone once told me they thought they needed to wear a seatbelt reading some of my stories. When I saw this belt I thought it was a great statement for Lady Croft.

I’ve got more entertaining stories, and photos, to share of Canada’s Wonderland, but I’m exhausted and I’ve had more added to my list of wedding ‘to do’s’. Ciao.

Sleeping on the sofa again. I'm not sure how I'll react when I move on Monday. I went from 2 dogs, to 1 dog, to me and 1 dog on a sofa. Now I'm expected to sleep in a huge queen bed all by myself? I think I'm going to be lonely. Maybe I should buy a gazillion pillows to surround myself. Ciao.

It was such a pleasure to meet so many (e:peeps) at the party! Let’s see…(e:Boxerboi), we totally need to do that GPS treasure hunt. Tell Jeff he is the supreme back cracker and I look forward to many more back bends! (e:Terry), I didn’t see much of you but enjoyed the quick chat about cooking and videogames. (e:Mike), who knew you could come up with 30 different ways to say my name wrong? I was thoroughly impressed; I still think you need to win some kind of prize for that. I look forward to being in your soap opera. (e:Hodown), remember next time you see Moby ask him to sign a teabag for Lady Croft. Loved your hair by the way. (e:Josh), sorry for kicking your ass at Mario Kart, I thought being drunk might lessen my skillz. (e:Flacidness), loved our 4am dance session in the kitchen; we totally need to hit the dance floor soon. (e:Lilho), thanks for giving me the lowdown on so many new faces. (e:Drchlorine), good to see you. (e:Matthew), I’m glad you liked my hummus, didn’t mean to snatch the last cucumber from you. You know you have a great smile? (e:Iriesarah), you’re too much fun. Did you know you snore like a freight train blowing through a nitroglycerine plant? Ha! (e:Dimartiste), I’m glad you liked the zucchini squares enough to give me a bear hug. Thanks for the great conversation on gravity and the little adventure hunting for people passed out on neighboring lawns. (e:Springfarie), also thanks for the great conversation and little adventure hunting for people passed out on neighboring lawns. (e:Jason), ‘two pumps’ in a handshake, I won’t forget. How can one person get spilled on so many times? Well, now that I think about it, my pants took about 5 big hits, but I think you still win. (e:Paulnotpaul), OMG I have to hear the story about bad underwear again. I almost wet myself! Thank you (e:Paul) for dedication to the site, I hope you enjoy the Goldschlager. I’m sorry for hijacking your bed and spooning you in my sleep. I know I met more folks, please forgive me for not remembering. I came alone not knowing a single person, so I think I’ve done well remembering who I met, some while drunk. It was a most enjoyable evening, everyone was terrific! Well, everyone except the dude that dropped his girlfriend on the floor. Ciao.

I think Paul requested me to post a photo of my garden. It's not glam, but it grows great veggies!

Remind me never to get married. Weddings are an absolute schlep! I’m am sick, sick, sick of all this crap, crap, crap! I thought the whole idea of the wedding ceremony was to celebrate the union of two people. Ha! It’s all just a commercialized money making machine that gets everyone’s panties in twist! Seriously, $300 for cake, $1,000 for flowers??? That’s just the financial factor. If I get yelled at for one more thing, look out, because Broadzilla is surfacing!

I’m not even IN the wedding, but somehow I am responsible for:
1. Finding a babysitter (still need one)
2. Making giant signs (which are still not done after 30 hours of work)
3. Rigging up 10,000 imported Italian twinkle lights (ok, I stole that from Christmas Vacation, but I do have to rig up about 1,000 lights)
4. Calling all the non-responsive guests
5. Collecting ivy (don’t ask)
6. Taking my mother to 20 shops looking for a dress (not my cup of tea)
7. Taking my mother to have the dress fitted
8. Planning my brother’s bachelor party (what the hell!?!)
9. Sending out invites for his party
10. Sending out new invites to his party after finding out all the information I got was wrong
11. Fitting my dad’s pants
12. Picking up my dad’s shoes
13. Doing my mother’s hair (I’ve got my own hair to worry about)
14. Renting a car (because we don’t have enough space for everyone in the family to get carted around)
15. Writing the best man’s speech (this is nuts!!).

I don’t think 2 hours can pass without me taking heat for something wedding related. I’ve become an expert in taking heat. I get blamed for the rain falling on the Earth, but I just smile and say, ‘Kiss my chocolate starfish’. Of course what they hear is, ‘My bad, you’re right, you’re always right, why do I ever doubt you’. Ciao.

Taking a break from making signs for my brother's wedding. Glitter everywhere! I noticed (e:Jessbob) and (e:Jason) had done a humor test. I had to join in the fun, even if my results make me seem like a freakish pervert. Ciao.

The Shock Jock (60% dark, 56% spontaneous, 55% vulgar)
Your humor style: VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARK
Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this world, and you probably gets off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, and then blame it on your mom and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead.

Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 61% on dark
You scored higher than 69% on spontaneous
You scored higher than 69% on vulgar