It was pointed out to me that you need to sign into the Washington Post to access those stories. Though I am sure you ALL have Post profiles, I figured I should repost them for the benefit of those that don't as well as another additional story from today's post.

In the Loop
By Al Kamen
Friday, June 18, 2004; Page A27

Dead Dove Disaster:

This just in from BBC News! While Americans are preoccupied with investigations of world terrorism, other nations have different concerns.

So we find that "the Sri Lankan authorities have ordered an inquiry," the BBC reported, "after a dove-freeing ceremony intended to symbolize peace went disastrously wrong."

Seems "one bird was dead before takeoff and 'dropped like a brick,' " the BBC said, quoting its cameraman, Sriyantha Walpola, "soon after it left the hands of the public security minister, Ratnasiri Wickremanayake, at a ceremony last weekend."

And it wasn't as if a flock was taking off. Seems the poor bird was one of seven being released at a recent U.N. ceremony attended by Lt. Gen. James L. Campbell, commander of U.S. Army forces in the Pacific. His bird flew off quite smartly.

So "instead of soaring majestically into the air to symbolize the government's commitment to peace and goodwill," the BBC reported, the bird nose-dived to the ground.

Not to worry.

"A three-member delegation of the military police," led by an army major no less, has been called in "to investigate the mystery of the dead dove." They will look into the circumstances and try to see if there was any sabotage, a defense ministry spokesman said.

Sure, maybe it was the fault of Tamil Tiger separatists. Or maybe it was keeping the birds waiting for a half-hour in 90-degree heat and excessive humidity?

Clear as Mud:

Some folks in Congress are upset by our Saudi friends' occasional hallucinatory outbursts.

Crown Prince Abdullah -- remember, he's the enlightened one in the family, the one the Bush administration is counting on -- was shown on a tape obtained by NBC News blaming a recent wave of terrorist attacks on Zionists.

"Zionism is behind it," Abdullah said, through a translator. "It has become clear now. It has become clear to us," he said. "It is not 100 percent, but 95 percent that the Zionist hands are behind what has happened."

This might be a bit perplexing, since al Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the attacks.

But not to worry. Prince Nayef, the interior minister, explained what's going on. "Al Qaeda is backed by Israel and Zionism." Ah, but of course.

So Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) has circulated a "Dear Colleague" letter asking for House members to condemn these "scurrilous and inflammatory charges."

It was only a matter of time before people figured out those obvious ties between Osama bin Laden and Ariel Sharon.
    

Just think of it: A Zionist wave is sweeping the Arabian peninsula. Who knew?





Blind Man Drives Golf Cart in Ga. City

PEACHTREE CITY, Ga. - A blind man drove a golf cart for two miles through the
winding streets of Peachtree City, accompanied by his guide dog - and an
inebriated friend giving instructions - before running into a parked car, police
said.

Nobody was hurt, but Samuel McClain, 35, of Stockbridge and Michael Johnston,
47, of Peachtree City were charged with reckless conduct "due to the blatant
disregard for public safety," a police report said.

The report said McClain was driving the cart Saturday while Johnston gave
directions after having six or seven beers and "admittedly under the influence
of alcoholic beverage." Also on the cart was McClain's golden re
tr
iever guide
dog.

The city of 34,000 about 25 miles south of Atlanta has about 80 miles of paved
cart paths and 9,000 registered carts that residents use for daily tasks like
going to the grocery or taking children to school.





Va. Tells Men: No Sex With Young Girls

RICHMOND, Va. - The state is posting billboards with messages such as "Isn't
she a little young?" as part of a campaign to dissuade men from having sex with
underage girls.

The campaign is aimed at reducing the number of young girls who have children
with older men, the Virginia Department of Health said Monday.

In 1999 and 2000 in Virginia, men over 18 were responsible for 219 births
involving girls who were 13 and 14, the department said.

Messages such as "Isn't she a little young?" and "Sex with a minor, don't go
there" also appear on posters, coasters and napkins in bars, restaurants and
stores in five cities.

"We encourage adult men to talk to their peers and discourage them from
pursuing teenagers. What they are doing is unhealthy and against the law," said
Robert Franklin, a health department official.

Here are two funny stories I found at washingtonpost.com yesterday at work. I highly reccomend reading them.

Blind Man Drives Golf Cart in Ga. City


Va. Tells Men: No Sex With Young Girls

Hello all. I guess I haven't updated in a while. I guess I have been sort of busy/lazy as of late. Here is the craziness of a story for you. Last night my roommate chris invited my other roommate siv and I to a birthday party. Chris is an orientation leader for my school this summer, which means he takes incoming freshman that come to get orientated on tours and team building games and stuff. Anyway, one of the other orientation leaders was having a birthday, so another friend of ours, Vaani, who is also an orientation leader, offers to have it at her house. Because Chris is picking up the cake and has to pick up some other people for the party, we get to the house right on time. When we knock on the door, Vaani's roommate answers and says Vaani does not live there. She has her stuff in the house, but is living on campus while she is an orientation leader because it is easier. We tell her that Vaani is having a party at the house tonight. That was the first she had heard of that. We called Vaani and she told her what was going on, but Vaani still was not at the house. Needless to say, it was quite awkward sitting there at someone else's house for a party, especially when the host isn't there and the roommate that is is still eating dinner because she did not know about the party. Luckily we knew the roommate so it wasn't as awkward as it could've been.

Hmmm. That was a good story when it happened. I don't know if the humor/awkwardness translated well in the retelling. Oh well, you can suffer through my bad stories. Everyone else who knows me does.

My CDs have been in complete disarry since I moved into my apartment in january. The problem is that I gave up the shelves I used to keep them on for our apartment's dvd collection. I put my cds on my desk shelves, but as they wouldn't all fit horizontally, I was forced to put them vertically. This made it a pain in the ass to put the cds back and subsequently my cds and their cases became scattered all around my desk. This lasted until today when I finally put all the CDs back in their proper cases and reorganized them so they could sit horizontally. It makes me so happy to have them organized. It is definitely one of my anal/ocd things. They are organized alphabetically by artist (if it is a person than I use the last name) then by original release date (even if they are reissues), with singles always following the album they were on (even if the single came out first). Now I can look and smile.
Here is a crappy drawing of it:


Sorry it is so bad, but I did pop my sketching cherry.

Oh, and though I don't know you, Happy Birthday Comedicqueen.

That't all for now. Bye

I would just like to give props to Jill and Mike on the videos. They were really funny. People became too predictable on the sesame street answer. And on the virginity, come on at least try rhyming, there are lots of dirty words to chose from - "Cock. Balls. / We get the picture Frank you don't have to celebrate it."

Allentown is this weekend? I am jealous. I wish I could be home for it. Last year I got my buffalo belt buckle. Maybe this year I would've splurged on the belt studded with buffalo nickles to match. Now I will never know. If someone is there and feels like spending $40 dollars on someone else, feel free to pick one up for me.

That is all for now and "Stay away from the deli tray" (if anyone can name who said that quote or at least what it is from, they will seriously get the maddest props EVER from me - whatever that is worth)