Whether you are a proud American or not, the only way we can make things better is if we take ownership of this, our country, and show the incumbents they just aren't good enough. I'll be voting strictly along anti-incumbent lines today. Whether you're straight up commie or a fascist pig, get out there and stake your claim to our great nation and vote.

After yesterday's rant, I've decided it's time to elaborate a bit more on why certain things upset me so.

I try my best not to be a jealous person, and I'm about 95% of the way there. I've not been a jealous person in my relationships, or my personal dealings, but there are certain situations that really bring it out of me - one of them being Jerry's magnetic attraction to the ladies.

I absolutely cannot stand it when someone has so many opportunities, and then bitches about not having what they think they deserve. You see this all the time from lovely women who complain about dozens of guys approaching her, but never the right ones! I can't even tell you how bad my language gets when I hear stuff like that.

I wish I could have even half of the opportunities Jerry gets. I think he takes it for granted, and that really rubs me the wrong way because in the end it becomes an entitlement. If I had around five or so girls vying for my attention I probably would have chosen one. And yeah, part of it involves sex with hot girls but moreso it is about having someone look at you in a way that lets you know how much they want you, how they enjoy being with you. That's what really bothers me, that I don't have THAT in my life. Part of me craves attention, admiration, love and acceptance - instead of constantly having your balls broken.

I'm not nearly as good looking as Jerry, although if I must say so I think I'm a relatively good looking guy. I don't have the whole dark feature thing and that opens many doors. But really what I'm missing is the will to just go for it. There is only a small percentage of girls who I'm willing to make that kind of effort to attract, and it has less to do with looks than her outlook towards life. There are a lot of beautiful girls but only a select few are grounded enough and "human" enough for me to make the effort.

One of them wrote to Jerry recently asking if he's hiding from her. Now, I don't know this chick very well, but my impression is highly favorable. She is definitely not the kind of girl that Jerry normally hangs out with. She seems like an absolute doll. She almost has a negative attitude towards herself, and I can't explain how much I just want to laugh and explain to her how unique she is. I would kill (not really) to have an opportunity to have a girl like that in my life. Of course sappy doesn't sell so I would have to translate that into something better. Anyway I'm jealous as all hell that he has this kind of attention from the girls and I don't. I feel like I would be able to take an opportunity and run with it. I'm not perfect by any means but I could enhance someone's life in some ways.

I'm trying so hard to not be jealous, and to think of the great things I have to offer that other people don't. I know that I'm unique too. It's just so difficult sometimes to get over this stuff and to move on and get what you want.

So, Jerry and I were at Faherty's last night watching the Sabres game (one of the bartenders used to tend during our dart nights) and a chick bartender (not the one we know) noticed my Bass Ale wasn't downed. She looked at me, handed me a napkin and said "You might need this to wipe your pussy."

Of course, I'm famous for not taking that kind of thing so when she walked by again I gave her the napkin back and told her that she'd better worry about her own pussy. SHOCKING.

And what happened? She plopped down a shot glass and poured me a Jameson's. Cool deal!

It pays to be a jerk! To be honest I thought about stepping it up a notch and offering her a hand (hehe) but that might have been going overboard.

Jerry's still laughing about the whole deal, so at least we had fun.

As estrip's budding Tony Robbins I feel I have to leave an inspiring message for everyone today, including myself.

Work hard. It's far less agonizing than watching the clock tick.

We all have tough times. Getting through them is good for the soul.

Home is impenetrable to the drama and bullshit of work/school. Keep it that way.

When was the last time you did something helpful for your fellow man?

In staying with tradition, I have to once again rant about some things that will appall you and make you respect me less.

(e:Ladycroft)'s motto is "Say what you mean, and mean what you say" and I thought about that for hours last night. Okay, Jerry is hooking up with his intern, a freshly minted 21 year old, and he wanted me to go with him to this girl's apartment party last night. I thought, "Oh, shit,hell naw bro" until he introduced the tease: There would be plenty of hot chicks there who are going to WANT you, Jason! Well holy hell who could say no to that? And then over the course of the week he sent me links to pics of the girls who were interested. Needless to say I was absolutely excited about the prospect.

Despite not feeling my best for a few days I went with him, really only because he promised me hot ass, otherwise I would have stayed home. I cleaned up, shaved, got all nice smelling and whatnot, put on my costume (Monk re-hash) and got in the car. When we got there I met the girl Jerry's hooking up with, and she was actually a decent enough chick, but where the fuck were the girls Jerry told me about? Some fat bitch asked me where my little boy was ("I'm a MONK, not a priest, you retard!") but the girls Jerry told me about were nowhere to be found. Ummm, what the fuck?!?! It was at this moment when I realized I had been utterly BAMBOOZLED and tricked into accompanying Jerry to this travesty so that he wouldn't feel weird. How could he do this to me?!?!?

But oh, does it ever get worse - I was relegated to third wheel status as we jetted around town, my bitterness and discontentment reaching critical levels with every bar visit. Some chick grabbed my ass at Gordon's, which I guess is better than nothing. Faherty's was alright, but said bartender who hooked me up with a nice shot of Jameson's earlier in the week was having absolutely none of it from me. Too bad because I would have totally respected her and treated her the way a woman deserves to be treated, such and such and so forth. Hell no, I would have drilled her like a Texas Oil man. The closest prospect was a friend of a friend, a known Swinger but that fell through at the last moment as her brother pulled her out of the joint. Fat Bob's was okay, but really at this point I was about 6-8 drinks in the bag and in a terrible mood. When you were tricked into being a mobile support group and third wheel you tend to just want to throw caution to the wind and pickle yourself.

I began to think about how Jerry basically hoards the girls, putting many on the back burner while one gets his attention, all the while making vague suggestions about maybe pushing one of them off to me. Never happens. I also thought about the ridiculous comments he made about Walt "dominating" when he came here. It's times like this when you just have to admit to yourself that you have a hot friend, and you're the equivalent of the ugly chick who tags along in the hopes of getting some runoff. Jason, you're never going to get what you want so just fucking move on and live with it!

If he would have just been straight up with me to begin with I might not have gone, or I might have just because he's my best buddy, but the worst thing to do is tease me with hot ass, promise me a fun, nasty, sex filled night and then end up being a total liar. I am fucking PISSED. I wish I would have just stayed home, unshowered and stoned and perfectly happy. At least I only paid for one drink.