Let the FUN begin!

Jason

Ahh....is there anything that getting laid won't fix? After my less than happy day I went home and talked to some people, eventually landing a movie date. I went to see War of the Worlds with her. I'm not really a movie snob....I take things for what they are, not what they could or should be in my mind or any other fool's. I actually liked it - the destruction brought by the aliens was unimaginable. They literally hunt down humans on a mass scale. It was not an action movie, instead more of a thriller. It was pretty scary as far as movies go. I won't ruin it for sci fi dorks like me. From what I understand it is different than the book in some ways, but I'm not a purist so I'm not complaining. It was a very entertaining night that had a "happy ending" as it were. I had a great time and hopefully things will just continue to be this way.

Jason

Her:

"Quit being such a drama queen. I'm glad things are
> going well for you -
> enjoy it - I wish nothing but good times for you,
> but you don't have to bring me
> down with your IM's. I've had quite a bit on my
> plate lately, so sorry if I
> didn't jump and write right back. My dad had skin
> cancer, my mom has been
> undergoing testing for ovarian cancer and just had
> surgery, my boyfriend had
> his thyroid removed because of cancerous nodules
> and now this week I've
> developed pleurisy. Life can be tough enough
> without biting comments from
> friends. "See you in the afterlife" Rhonda "

Me:

" It's not drama, it's common courtesy and respect. you've never respected me, all I wanted was a simple "hello" and over the course of MONTHs, considering you're always online, it was never too much to ask for. I don't care about your boyfriend's cancer or your pleurisy. A while ago I might have showered you with good wishes and prayers. You should have never written back. You've never reached out to me so I'm not losing anything. Good bye"

I can be a cold blooded son of a bitch when provoked. She wouldn't even bother to write to me until I got pissed off at her. She thinks she's fucking perfect and without fault, and immediately goes into attack mode, just like a female always does, when someone approaches her with a problem. I don't need people in my life who don't respect me, or who are going to fake like they're my friends when in reality they won't give me the time of day. Fuck her, fuck her boyfriend's cancer and fuck her fucking pleurisy. Bad shit does indeed happen to bad people on occasion. I do, however, feel immeasurably bad for her parents, who are loving and sweet people. They will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight

Update: more blah blah blah what did I ever do to deserve this from her, so I said I thought I told you good bye? You were never my friend, you ignored me time after time when I needed you the most, now buzz off" #$^#$^#^@^@^$%

This is what I had to say to Rhonda, after sending e-mails and IM's and not even getting the courtesy of a response over the course of the last few months:

Danq750: I thought you said you would be my friend always. I've tried to say hello, shit I'm not even worth a response. I understand now. Good bye, see you in the afterlife.

See, she arrogantly thinks I'm going to want to get with her again. This is a problem many Buffalo girls have. I've had much better, and I will have much better in the future. All I wanted was someone to talk to, someone to be there for me, and someone for me to be there for when she is having a bad day too. It killed me to the point of tears that she wouldn't even as much as recognize my existence after telling me she would always be my friend. I'm sick as fuck of feeling that way, and I wish I never cared so much. She obviously didn't deserve it. I blocked her fool trick ass with the quickness too.

Jason

What is "it" you might ask? "It" is my recovery. I will never overcome my depression. My treatment program is incompatible with my job so I've quit it, along with one of the medications. I don't know if I'll ever be happy and content with life. My job is too important to risk it based on not being able to keep a constant schedule. I would rather be unhappy and employed than unhappy and not employed. I talk about relationships often but I am nowhere near boyfriend material. Being a blonde, pale skinned dork doesn't exactly help things either. Plus one of the people I care about most on the earth will not even speak a word to me or respond to an IM or e-mail. People say that they want to help and to call if I'm feeling like shit but they really don't want to hear what I have to say, they are just trying to be nice. Nobody wants to hear me talk about being unhappy, it's all a bunch of bullshit. Their patience, compassion and understanding change like the direction of the wind. I have no hope. It is all over and done with.