well lets just say the past few weeks has been crazy dun. From waking up in the hospitla.To my first walk around central park. Meeting a guy (straight guy) and working, working, working. according to my managers I have been making more money than my fellow workers, thats crazy good. HAPPY POST 420!!!! I had a BALL. On 420 I went to central park for the second time; it was a beautiful day. I met up with a guy named Chris (straight guy). We went to play pool at about 6 and were drunk by 7. We celebrated 420 with his roomate who looks remarkably like sandra bullock and is from BUFFALO!!!! Chris hadn't smoked in three years. Goodtimes. Chris and I wait for his lesbian roomate to come home and then we go back out to my first HOMO-bar in New York. What was the name???? Hell I don't remeber. All I know is that I was beating the Homo's off with sticks. My conversations went a lot like "NO I will not go home with you, NO thats ok, Yess oyu can buy me a drink thank you, sorry I am not going homw with you." Gay men don't take rejection well. My straight guy friend Chris offered to be my boyfriend to weed the other boys away. I love when straight offer to be your boyfriend at bars. My mothers birthday just past also and my sister tells me that my mother wrote her and would like for me to write her while she's in jail. I have her adress now and plan to do so in about a week; once I've figured out what to say. THings are going great I still need a new cell phone, oh and by the way if my cell phone didn't suck so bad I wouldn't have woken up in a hospital in FUCKING YONKERS!!!! Any who I am neglecting the kids right now and I have to get dressed for work. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! peace buffalo.

This past week or so I have been busy working and making new friends, upset a friend so I had to make it up to her. Had an old friend trying to apologize to me after years of hurting me and taking advantage of me. Getting in contact with great friends from high school, never forgetting my friends back home. Being a great friend is a full-time job,and it's not easy trying to make everyone happy or even yourself. All that we ask is that we try our best. Without my friends, all of my friends I honestly would be dead. Or still with my nasty nasty family (ick). Thank you to all of you for getting to know this nubian slender male and calling him your friend.

Sex in NYCity! May not be a good thing. I go to my job for employee night saturday and get drunky drunk drunk. My straight searches for me in the midaway and fives me a BIG hug. He loves me. After everyone at work sees me in not so rare form, me and a bunch of other co-workers hit up our fav after work bar for eight pitchers. Good times, good times. This boy starts klissing me in the bathroom, he's way too drunk, I walk him homes since he was lost, I find out his home is a dorm. We kinda have sex? I realize where i was I get up, leave and nobody gets off. He's pissed. He tells me during our heavy petting that he was 20. TWENTY!!!! Yeah that was the main reason for my sudden departure. Do you think he'll call? Probably not. But I'm sure there is plenty more balding, TWENTY year olds with very very pretty eyes out there. I couldn't even hold a decent conversation with this boy. As I tried to get a little background on him, all he wanted to do was makeout and go down my pants. And we all know I am no bar slut, I don't dryhump and tounge wrestle at the bar. So tacky. Not my style.

hokay so I slepy in the same bed, under the same blanket with a gay boy and NOTHING!!! We even watched an ass raping scene in American Histroy X, that we both agreed was hot, and when it came on I barely got an erection. I'm getting more flirting acton from my straight boss at work. Bad gay, bad gay! shit. ps: my mother sucks!

last night after work I went out with some co-workers for some much needed VODKA! It was supposed to be only one. And then one turned into staying out until 5 a.m.Going to this bar and then hoping to the next. Alcohol kills feelings. I really need my friends right now. These New York people will do for now I guess. I failed a test last night at work, the first one I have ever failed. But luckily it was only by two points (88) and I get to take it over. I forgot all about that test until right now; dancing in the streets last night with people I just met kinda took the place of all the bull shit that's going on in my fucked up family. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse right? Just when I thought I could actually be happy for at least a few months as I'm starting my new life, this bitch manages to fuck me up 700 or whatever miles away. NOBODY"S mother does shit like this. Mothers are supposed to be there; where? There, anywhere you need her, for support, guidance. She's supposed to tell you what you are doing right and wrong in your life and always someone to fall back on with the durable net. I can't believe this; I don't have a mother. I'm sorry to bring moods down because I was not like this the first time. Last night I drank and danced down the streets of Manhattan and didn't think of a thing but how much fun I was having and how I wished a couple of my friends were there to dance with me. this is my last sappy ass, sad, sympathy wrenching journal. I'm sure my next one will be about how much fun I am having at work, which is already starting. WOO HOO! Peace and Love!-TK