"You can stay, but you can't stay my lover."

Friday night trying to find someone to have a drink with. The first two people I call are not available (including (e:hodown)). I go with my third choice. BIG MISTAKE! First of all she's napping at 8:30 p.m. So I wait for her to wake up at the bar around the corner. Cute bartender who infact talks to me the whole time I am waiting for my friend to wake up (about two hours). He buys my third jack and coke and asks me to stay and sing karaoke which he loves to do so much. NO thank you I found a baby roach in my guinness. But I told him I will come again. Girlfriend FINALLY wakes up, she, her roomate, two homos and myself have cosmo's before we go out. Her roomate is notorious for shit talk about people behind their backs and I catch her giving me a dirty look as I walk by. We go to the bar and theres a guy at the end of the bar giving the *wink*, lick of the lips, a little pucker of the lips. After many efforts that i ignore he begins to leave and I realize not only was he about 66 but he had a walker no joke! I am on fire tonight. The crew I'm went want to do drugs, I say no thank you I have shit to do in the morning but I didn't want to go home I still wanted to hang out. Thats not good enough apparently so they take off and now I'm somewhere in queens. Where? I don't know. SO now I have to find a subway station, takes forever and then I get on three wrong subways. I try to call the girl so she could help this heavily intoxicted boy, no answer no call back. NOw I am in east butt fuck somwhere (queens) it was awful I finally get home, upset because dunkin dounuts were not serving bagels. I go to sleep and do so for about 3 hours and then I had to go fill out paper work in the city for my new job, go home try to nap don't do it instead I do laundry and then It's back to manhattan to go to whatever those palces were called.All I know I didn't really have to pay for much because I was out with all girls and they love to treat the homo, and then there was this guy who pays my cover for the second club, so I had to ask his name and then say thank you. I wake up the nest afternoon go home and stay in for the next two days. Friday night sucked saturday night was a lot better. It's good to know who your friends are. Something else that aint pretty, I haven't had a satisfiying sexual episode in about 8 months. Thats sick. I'm trying to talk my brother out of getting a car. Especially if he wants to move to the city once he gets off probation. Yeah I have a brother on probation and a mother on parole. Fathers a born-again pastor. W.T.F. mate?

It's been a hell of a week. First: I still hate kids. Glad I got that out of the way. The rest of the week included fainting, getting drunk (that happens a lot i think), getting lost in queens while drunk, GETTIN A MUTH FUCKIN JOB! I think is the most important. THats right this blackman has a job. Where and what you might be axing yo self. The new Dave and Busters in times square! I would tell you all about the place since theres only 35 of them in the world including a new one that opened up near buffal last year, but Im hung over and very very tired. Dry throat. It hasn't opened yet but it will the third week of march to the V.I.P. people and then to the public in april. I will be waiting tables it's going to be a lot of fun. I get to have two drinks (real drinks) while I work. Oh and did I mention A nigga has benefits (hope I spelled that right, thats not really a word I type too much). Benefits including dental, 4o1k, I think a company mobile phone and other stuff too. I had a dream my dad was trying kiss me and take off my clothes as I was running away from him. Weird. So I wont be able to visit the B-Lo as soon as I want to I am going to be a very busy boy. The other goos news is I can afford to join a gym. This body of mine is starting to look pretty flabby, you know without excercise in two months yuck! Anywho gotta go. Big ups to Bonquipha! DABBA means "good"

The original Nintendo has dawned itself upon me a couple days ago, so I have been playing ALL THREE super marion bros. games (3 being my favorite). The racoon tail and the flying, the whistles, the cannon ships. Just brings back so much good memories. If only I had a partner to play with hmmmmm? Of course I forgot about the blinking screen that comes up as soon as you turn on the game. And the blowing of the cartridges. Frustrating but well worth it. I still hate kids, and I never plan to have any EVER! Question: can you miss somebody so much that it makes you want to change your world? Your dreams and day dreams say different things but has the same message. It gets really frustrating. You think you did the right thing but your heart still tugs in the other direction. Just as it did when you were over there. It makes no sense i know, damn this heart of mine for having feeling. It's valentines day and I am not lookling for love. Too much snow for that bullshit. Although I was going through and old black notebook I had in college and on this day four years ago I had wrote a poem. It was very sappy and very sad I found myself hung up on some boy, who I don't like and has anal warts now. I think Valentines day is a holiday not only for hallmark but for women. They seem to be more into it then men do. Happy Vagina day ladies and I hope for all of you who have valentines that they take care of your vagina very well today.

Thursday and Friday, good times and good times....I think? Thursday I went out with my friend Sara to Iggy's a karaoke bar on the east side. This was my second time going and it was more crowded and I got more drunk this time.The bartendres went around puring shouts In people's mouths and there was tequila (yuck), vodka (yum), and PBR! A boy from Ohio slipped me tounge because I found his lighter, followed me outside whenever I went and then I saww him going to the bathrrom with this girl he was making out with ( EVERY FUCKIN TIME!). Slept for about 3 hours on an air matress with a boy named Dan. Friday came fast and it was my friends Nikki's birthday so it was party time. I called (e:terry) before I got drunk that night but hen it went crazy after that. Pissing on Madison ave and then to the rented out room we had which also featured karaoke! Lots of bad singing that night, not from me ofcourse but from the other males at the party. You know you're drunk when, you are getting hit on by a gay guy and not realizing it untill he leaves. I missed the obvious signs such as: the constant arm around my shoulders or waist each time there was a picture taken or I sang a song, anouncing he was gay over the mic, and singing off my mic every group song getting his face and lips oddly close to mine. His name? Hell I don't know. To another bar that night which involved more drinking and a looooooong conversation with this straight boy named, shit don't that one either. Back to nikkis sleepy time awakend by rude cable guy, and then throbbing headache which Colin helped with asprin as soon as I awaked. I go home and sleep for 14 hours. Much needed. Well that about sums it up my next party weekend wont come for a while now. I gotta save up some dough to visit my fav (e:peeps). Baby's callin gotta go.