i walk into a smoked filled bar. I hear your playing tonight. I take my seat in the back, light one up and await oyur sight. You come up and I take a deep breath and release the toxic in the air. You speak, I chill, you sing, i dream. The one thig is, oyu don't know I'm there. I light another as your next slection plays on. YOu serenace the crowd, as they sway. I wish it was me oyu were strumming on. I loose my balance as I try to walk closer, I drop my cigarette, take my new seat and light another. I wonderif it could be more than this, but you don't even know i exsist. You look my way, i freeze, you look away and I'm back at ease. Whats wrong with me, are you even worhty for my tall tales; as i sit here sedated with my yellow fingernails. Oyur strong arem clinches the guitar, and I can't read whats on your shirt because I am too far. My next move is a closer one, and I'm out of smokes. But now I'm close enough to read your foot notes. The man next to me hands me one and a light, as you announce that this will be your last song of the night. You look at me again; maybe it's a test, because your last song is the best. You exit the stage and i take my last drag. I sit still and dream of what could be or could have. I can't approach you, for i will surely fail. But i will be back, me and my yellow fingernails.

They say you should be yourself. They say it like it's soooo easy. But sometimes when you go around being yourself, you realize that people will still have a problem with you. My luck on, riches, beauty, ad love has seem to finally run out. Maybe i took advantage of what i had and now it's gone. Or maybe fate just has it's way of bringing a man down. There is only so much one person can take and still keep on worry free. But when everything you ever had hope in crashes down around you , when you think you are at your prime. It makes you do something we are all guilty of, we question ourselves. At first i (we) question what are we doing wrong to cause such trama around us. But my answer to this after ALL that I have been through, is NOTHING. I've done things i am not proud of but I feel that I (we) are still great. AND for all of you out there who depise us i say this to you. FUCK YOU! You are the reason good people don't get ahead. You slander us with you'r jelousy and hate, and us who are weak in confidence back down. But tonight I make a stand for us. You who hate, envy, loathe, contradict, turn ugly, will get whats coming. We are going to be around til the end of time, we will not stop being us just because you wish us not to. Get a life, go choke on sushi for all I care, Because I (now I mean "I") am not going anywhere! Now that I've said that I will stand by it. I will see you in the next life. Hope you find peace and love.



tk

case of the mondays? i don't think so. I had a case of the sudays for some reason. My weekend was not completly dissapointing, I had a Great friday night thanks to the kick ass party at matthew, pauls and terrys house. Alot of people digged my yellow pants. Alot more than i thought anyway. But saturday was a differnt story. Once again I was surrounded by jealousy, this time by a new person. I hate that shit; people really need to get lives, and stop bothering something they can't control. It really ruined my sunday because i did not do what i normally do then. But that part of my life I fear will no longer happen. Which may not be all that bad after all. thank all of you who, made my weekend as much as enjoyable as possible. Tina I love you baby thank you for all the support! But today my day has been going by just lovely. I got up early and took care of some stuff now I am relaxing. I love today! and I love you all! THANK YOU!


tk

The elmwood strip is definetly something to remember. Where I walk down elmwood at 7 pm and someone beeps at me. So I wave back. I don't know who was in the car but I figured it was a friendly thing to do (bad idea, bad idea tk). The van pops a Uee and drives up next to me and the guy in the van asks me, If i wanted a blow job. I say naturally, "no, no I don't". He pulls over anyway. So i dart down the close by one way off of the strip. Later When i go to a bar off of the strip, I felt up my first fake boobies. This girl at a bar thought that i was soooo cute and beautiful and I quote "I would sooo fuck you if you were stright". Yeah I know you would because you are a girl, and I attract the puss. And this one had nice 45 hundred dollar boobies. This girl turned out to be a really cool person and she and I made a date to meet up at the same bar the night she bartends. If ANY of you would like to join me, give me a holla. I would rather not go alone to a bar, but I would if I have to because I pinky promised her I would. After that when I was walking down the strip I made up a really cool song to sing that I enjoyed and will have to write down tonight. These things only happen to you if you hang around elmwood strip, so why hang out any where else?

I would like to encourage everyone to try out the elmwood profiler. Give a shout out to your favorite user on the site or whoever else the fuck you would like to shout out to. It is on pauls and the elmwood journal. peace and love. stay clean!
p.s. if anyone would like to shout out at me i think it would be dope, it will be something to get me off for the next few nights when i am alone. Just say things like "oh Flacidness i think youz so fiiiine" or "flacid boy I want you in my bed so bad" thank you for help out a lonely man.