First i'd like to say happy birthday Matthew. hope you have a great day, and the party is brilliant!

I hope everyone had a great st Patrick's day. my sister came up from jersey and we went out in long beach, couldn't make it into the city because of work. it ended up being a really fun nite. saw the pat macguire band open up for 39 mariner and then just partied it up. it was awesome. spoke to kerri and then some. yeah we made out a little bit, in the bar. i know, i know, making out in a bar....but..it started as a kiss good bye, as she was going to do shots with her friends and i was going to go downstairs. then i don't know what happened. of course it was great, but i had not sent the letter yet so now it may seem odd. oh well don't really care, gonna send it anyways.

on the job front, the bank hired someone internally. LUCKY (napoleon dynamite voice) yeah not really. there is also no wiggle room in relation to compensation. and the base salary is totally unacceptable, especially for living down here. i understand that the bankers make money on commission from selling financial products, and meeting branch and individual goals, but come on.

i am on this big kick for wanting to plan a vacation. i really really want to go away some where. and with someone. i am finally going to apply for my passport this week. i know i have said that before, but i do procratinate if you have not noticed that already. shit my signal just went so now i am going to copy and paste this so i don't lose the whole damn post. i love technology. haha.. well today is a wasted day. its a day filled with anxious wanderings in my head. trying to figure out how to really start moving forward in all aspects. go on vactaion, start saving and investing. THis is a continuation as i had to copy and paste this from earlier. went to dinner with mickey at the saloon, it was great food too. i had the irish beef stew and he had sheppards pie. my sis had some of her griled chicken wrap and brought the rest home. after dinner we sat around and talked about home and high school and growing up and all of that. we were supposed to go out tonite to a party, but my sis fell asleep. so now i am online at 2 in the morning. i really wanted to go out to my buddy's party and then back to the saloon for a few drinks as my friend sara mongahan is bartending and she is such a cutie. she stopped by our table at dinner to chat it up a bit. lovely lovely girl. anyways. oh yeah i uploaded all of the photos i have yet to post for you viewing enjoyment. talk to you all later.

i wrote this tonite while listening to one of my friends play "open mic" and drinking some white ale. it is in honour of one of our own giving birth to a healthy baby boy.


And to you was given the gift of life

the warmth of the sun as he lay sleeping on your chest

the draw of the tides when he is not in your arms

the wonder of the change of seasons as he grows before your very eyes..





i have to work on it some more, but think that sums up my view on birth. its a beautiful thing, well at least when it is done happening. :)

so last nite i typed my ex girlfriend a letter. i slept on it, literally. i was reading it and fell asleep on the letter. which is fine because i need to make a second draft. its basically asking her if she would want to try it again. its something i have to do. gotta fight for it. i mean its not in a psycho like way. i am just explaining myself and arguing a point. almost like trial. i have all of these good things in my life right now, and even being technically unemployed, i am happy. i have a great group of friends, im interviewing and people are responding, i am busy during the week so i have structure, my affairs are in order and things are moving forward. i mentioned that i have all of these good things in my life, she is just another good thing i want in my life. im also including the poem i wrote for her on new years, hopefully she'll like it. well thats it right now. i have errands to run before my interview. hopefully im going to sag harbour tomorrow. we'll see.

i wrote this while at work yesterday while i was making deliveries.


i drove past a
parade today
and as they say,
everyone loves a parade.

It was an unassuming parade
in a school yard
various ages and sizes of tartan skirted
little girls, and red and brown haired freckled boys.

as i came down the street
i heard the rattle of the snare drum,
and the melody of the flute across
the grey day's breeze.

all in line the band played
while the baton twirlers and hoop throwers
plied their skill with streamers flying high

as i went by i could not help but smile.
driving back through the village, on my way back through
the band had stopped, the traffic lite was red and so
did I,
and the principal, or head mother was announcing
how proud the parents and teachers were
of every ones hard work and dedication

the lite turned green and I drove off thinking
how some of those children must feel right then

I remember back to those days, feeling
self conscious, embarrassed,
everything elevated to an utmost importance,
trying so hard to be older than you were.
and i wondered if any of them
felt the same way.

I wonder what will become of
the drummers, the flutists,
the marching girls

what does the future hold
for these brite eyes,
eyes which hold the glittering wealth and hope
of youth.
these hearts undimmed by the
sometimes heavy handed world of
grown ups

How bright will their futures be?

I drive away smiling because
they are so young, and have
yet to experience the many wonders of life,
to endure the many trials that will shape
and mold them.

I drive away smiling,
everyone loves a parade.
the bright colored uniforms,
the sound of the band,
the wide smiles for the crowds lining the
streets,
the laughter,
the memories of childhood

everyone loves a parade.