First i'd like to say happy birthday Matthew. hope you have a great day, and the party is brilliant!

I hope everyone had a great st Patrick's day. my sister came up from jersey and we went out in long beach, couldn't make it into the city because of work. it ended up being a really fun nite. saw the pat macguire band open up for 39 mariner and then just partied it up. it was awesome. spoke to kerri and then some. yeah we made out a little bit, in the bar. i know, i know, making out in a bar....but..it started as a kiss good bye, as she was going to do shots with her friends and i was going to go downstairs. then i don't know what happened. of course it was great, but i had not sent the letter yet so now it may seem odd. oh well don't really care, gonna send it anyways.

on the job front, the bank hired someone internally. LUCKY (napoleon dynamite voice) yeah not really. there is also no wiggle room in relation to compensation. and the base salary is totally unacceptable, especially for living down here. i understand that the bankers make money on commission from selling financial products, and meeting branch and individual goals, but come on.

i am on this big kick for wanting to plan a vacation. i really really want to go away some where. and with someone. i am finally going to apply for my passport this week. i know i have said that before, but i do procratinate if you have not noticed that already. shit my signal just went so now i am going to copy and paste this so i don't lose the whole damn post. i love technology. haha.. well today is a wasted day. its a day filled with anxious wanderings in my head. trying to figure out how to really start moving forward in all aspects. go on vactaion, start saving and investing. THis is a continuation as i had to copy and paste this from earlier. went to dinner with mickey at the saloon, it was great food too. i had the irish beef stew and he had sheppards pie. my sis had some of her griled chicken wrap and brought the rest home. after dinner we sat around and talked about home and high school and growing up and all of that. we were supposed to go out tonite to a party, but my sis fell asleep. so now i am online at 2 in the morning. i really wanted to go out to my buddy's party and then back to the saloon for a few drinks as my friend sara mongahan is bartending and she is such a cutie. she stopped by our table at dinner to chat it up a bit. lovely lovely girl. anyways. oh yeah i uploaded all of the photos i have yet to post for you viewing enjoyment. talk to you all later.

i wrote this tonite while listening to one of my friends play "open mic" and drinking some white ale. it is in honour of one of our own giving birth to a healthy baby boy.


And to you was given the gift of life

the warmth of the sun as he lay sleeping on your chest

the draw of the tides when he is not in your arms

the wonder of the change of seasons as he grows before your very eyes..





i have to work on it some more, but think that sums up my view on birth. its a beautiful thing, well at least when it is done happening. :)

so last nite i typed my ex girlfriend a letter. i slept on it, literally. i was reading it and fell asleep on the letter. which is fine because i need to make a second draft. its basically asking her if she would want to try it again. its something i have to do. gotta fight for it. i mean its not in a psycho like way. i am just explaining myself and arguing a point. almost like trial. i have all of these good things in my life right now, and even being technically unemployed, i am happy. i have a great group of friends, im interviewing and people are responding, i am busy during the week so i have structure, my affairs are in order and things are moving forward. i mentioned that i have all of these good things in my life, she is just another good thing i want in my life. im also including the poem i wrote for her on new years, hopefully she'll like it. well thats it right now. i have errands to run before my interview. hopefully im going to sag harbour tomorrow. we'll see.

i wrote this while at work yesterday while i was making deliveries.


i drove past a
parade today
and as they say,
everyone loves a parade.

It was an unassuming parade
in a school yard
various ages and sizes of tartan skirted
little girls, and red and brown haired freckled boys.

as i came down the street
i heard the rattle of the snare drum,
and the melody of the flute across
the grey day's breeze.

all in line the band played
while the baton twirlers and hoop throwers
plied their skill with streamers flying high

as i went by i could not help but smile.
driving back through the village, on my way back through
the band had stopped, the traffic lite was red and so
did I,
and the principal, or head mother was announcing
how proud the parents and teachers were
of every ones hard work and dedication

the lite turned green and I drove off thinking
how some of those children must feel right then

I remember back to those days, feeling
self conscious, embarrassed,
everything elevated to an utmost importance,
trying so hard to be older than you were.
and i wondered if any of them
felt the same way.

I wonder what will become of
the drummers, the flutists,
the marching girls

what does the future hold
for these brite eyes,
eyes which hold the glittering wealth and hope
of youth.
these hearts undimmed by the
sometimes heavy handed world of
grown ups

How bright will their futures be?

I drive away smiling because
they are so young, and have
yet to experience the many wonders of life,
to endure the many trials that will shape
and mold them.

I drive away smiling,
everyone loves a parade.
the bright colored uniforms,
the sound of the band,
the wide smiles for the crowds lining the
streets,
the laughter,
the memories of childhood

everyone loves a parade.

anyone else a big fan of making out in the afternoon? (i never used to call it that, got in the habit though and now it sounds alright i guess) i got home from work and that was all that was on my mind today. i mean not that it isn't on my mind more often than that, cause well it is. but today, it just seemed so more intense i guess. maybe its the weather. yeah that could be it. or the fact that when i make a delivery to P.C. Richards (and appliance store locally owned down here) i walk in, and everyday, with out fail, and with prior knowledge to the contrary, i think i see kerri. the girl behind the customer service desk could be a damn stunt double. physical features are very very similar. so while i am standing there waiting for everyone to pay, i start daydreaming. that never is good. today would be a great day to just come home, and have a nice long late afternoon of romantic sex, love making. yeah that kind. then just lie in bed while it gets dusk, get up and get dressed while the street lights are starting to come on and go out to dinner to a quiet little place that is unassuming. i know just the place, go figure. haha..we would be warm and have that soft smell of bed, a little bit of napping, sex, with flushed faces. at the resturaunt we would sit at the bar while our table was being prepared and chat about work, what my friends are doing, what her friends are doing. then we would be escorted to the table and order, smiling at each other, little touches of the fingers while we read our own menus. what'll you get? not sure, this sounds good, what are you thinking of. then ordering, the food is great as always, finish up a and head for home. fall asleep early. wake up to the alarm clock and try to steal a few kisses on her back, her lower back as she tries to get out of bed. of course i lose, but not with out some gain. coming out of the shower in the plush terry cloth bathrobe, hair wet on her shoulders she sits on the edge of my bed and i sit half up and begin kissing her neck, and the back of her head. watching her get dressed, knowing she is going to go teach little kids. i love that really. i can see her in the class if i try, if i think about it. i lay back down and watch good morning america while she finishes up, otherwise i end up making her run late. she leans over and kisses me, more than once and then on our seperate ways to meet the day. i miss that. i miss the tenderness. it was beautiful and i am lucky to have had it, i just want it back damn it. other than that i am happy. really. taking a day trip to sag harbour and shelter island this saturday. it is supposed to be up in the 60's hopefully i will get some great pics for you all and find some cool stuff beach combing and what not. john stienbeck lived in sag harbour. wrote the winter of our discontent there. yup. gonna check out his place. alright peeps sorry bout that just now. but its what was banging around in my head. no pun intended.