I was just looking at my journal and for some reason the last entry is posted 3 times. kinda odd. i wonder if it was because of my computer. oh well. so i didn't call kerri on valentines day. it was killing me not to. i did get a valentine from a stranger though. that was really cool. i went to visit my friend mickey at the inn, he was working so i popped in there for a drink and stayed for a little while. nothing crazy, but there were these 4 girls who i have seen around, and i was brought into a conversation about relationships. then the one girl asked why i was not with my girlfriend and i explained to her that i chopped her head off and threw her in the bay. hahaha...no i let her know i didn't have one. now these four girls seemed nice, and they are attractive. the one next to me was like here, happy valentines day and gave me this bag of candy and it had a cd in it too. it was really nice because i was REALLY down. valentines day last year was a big nite in my relationship with kerri and it struck me as odd how much can change in the passing of a year's time. well of course i ran in to kerri on wednesday nite. she was going outside to have a smoke with her roomate courtney and she stopped and said hi, and that she would be back in. she came back in and then it was her turn to sing, so she gets up and sings are you strong enough to be my man. hahaha...funny shit. mickey and i got up and left. i think shes in florida for the february break. her and her girlfriends go every year. it seems like everyone is blah right now. last nite i went to dinner with an old friend. that is a great statement. it was my friend kat, whose 30th suprise birthday i went to last weekend. we had lost touch, mostly because of her, but since christmas she has made an effort to get our friendship back on track. i am really happy about that. she is a different person now too. a lot happier i think. we went to tgi fridays for dinner and had a few drinks. 3 hours went by and it seemed like a few min. its really cold and windy here today. what baxter you ate a whole wheel of cheese? hahaha don't know where that came from, kinda like a brain fart. fart. hahaha....someone smoking the weed in here????? anyways. back on track here. i'm thinking about sending kerri this poem i wrote her in the mail. any opinions on that? its just that i feel like i have to fight for this. i don't know why. normally i just chalk it up and say fuck it. it hurts yeah, but something about this one. everything reminds me of our time together, a stupid flavor of snapple, of course songs, dates, times, places, i can remeber what she wore the first date we were on, the night i met her, the first time we kissed, what she wore on valentines day. it all sucks ass. hahaha...as bad as love is, its great. it really is. if we didn't have it what would we really live for. im talking of love of our familys, our friends, and our lovers. that affection, that caring, that closeness. i miss the closeness. the physical closeness. laying on the couch falling asleep watching a movie with her in my arms. the feel of breathing. the smell of her in the morning. the hair and skin with that warm morning soft scent. im going to go do laundry. clean something, take my mind somewhere else. anyone have any suggestions for good books. i have to get my mind stimulated. thursday i was thinking about all this shit above, and my job hunt, and i got back to the deli with three deliverys stil in my car. alright kids, im out the dishes are done man.

Hello everyone. mmmm my typing is green,i think i am going to have to try and adjust this. Well lately all i have been doing is working for this deli, and trying to get interviews. tomorrow i have a second interview with AXA and i am really hopefull that it goes well. so i may be reporting a new position tomorrow!! this past weekend was pretty good. for all of my complaining seeing my ex girlfriend Kristen was actually really nice. We basically talked all evening. I mean there were times when i would break away and be part of the wackiness, but other than that my evening was spent with her, her old college roomie allison, and my roomate. we talked and aaron and I drank. Kristen told me about her son Dillon, and Alli asked what names were good for a boy, because she is pregnant. Seeing Kat, whose birthday it was , was also good because we had kind of lost touch. I think that will change. One funny things was how interested Kristen was in who i have been dating. I sure as hell wasnt asking about her husband. then the drive home the next day was rough because of the snow storm we got hit with. they have no idea how to plow this stuff of drive in it down here. though i must say, i do not really care for this weather anymore. i used to miss that about home, the cold nites and going from bar to bar shivering, then getting inside where it is warm and packed full of people yakking away, and washing the chill away with a molson or a labatts. I wanted to call and wish kerri a happy valentines day, it was a really important day in our relationship last year. but of course that was last year. the interview tomorrow is at 1130 then i have to do laundry, and a whole bunch of other fun things. though i think we have made an official decision to bring Thursday Nite Fun Club back from the dead. hang out in RVC. well i am going to sign off and make some dinner for myself. i hope you ladies have fun at jenks house if you go for wine and cheese. have some for me. If i were home i would have taken you all out. lol. Happy Valentine's Day all.

Hello everyone. mmmm my typing is green,i think i am going to have to try and adjust this. Well lately all i have been doing is working for this deli, and trying to get interviews. tomorrow i have a second interview with AXA and i am really hopefull that it goes well. so i may be reporting a new position tomorrow!! this past weekend was pretty good. for all of my complaining seeing my ex girlfriend Kristen was actually really nice. We basically talked all evening. I mean there were times when i would break away and be part of the wackiness, but other than that my evening was spent with her, her old college roomie allison, and my roomate. we talked and aaron and I drank. Kristen told me about her son Dillon, and Alli asked what names were good for a boy, because she is pregnant. Seeing Kat, whose birthday it was , was also good because we had kind of lost touch. I think that will change. One funny things was how interested Kristen was in who i have been dating. I sure as hell wasnt asking about her husband. then the drive home the next day was rough because of the snow storm we got hit with. they have no idea how to plow this stuff of drive in it down here. though i must say, i do not really care for this weather anymore. i used to miss that about home, the cold nites and going from bar to bar shivering, then getting inside where it is warm and packed full of people yakking away, and washing the chill away with a molson or a labatts. I wanted to call and wish kerri a happy valentines day, it was a really important day in our relationship last year. but of course that was last year. the interview tomorrow is at 1130 then i have to do laundry, and a whole bunch of other fun things. though i think we have made an official decision to bring Thursday Nite Fun Club back from the dead. hang out in RVC. well i am going to sign off and make some dinner for myself. i hope you ladies have fun at jenks house if you go for wine and cheese. have some for me. If i were home i would have taken you all out. lol. Happy Valentine's Day all.

Hello everyone. mmmm my typing is green,i think i am going to have to try and adjust this. Well lately all i have been doing is working for this deli, and trying to get interviews. tomorrow i have a second interview with AXA and i am really hopefull that it goes well. so i may be reporting a new position tomorrow!! this past weekend was pretty good. for all of my complaining seeing my ex girlfriend Kristen was actually really nice. We basically talked all evening. I mean there were times when i would break away and be part of the wackiness, but other than that my evening was spent with her, her old college roomie allison, and my roomate. we talked and aaron and I drank. Kristen told me about her son Dillon, and Alli asked what names were good for a boy, because she is pregnant. Seeing Kat, whose birthday it was , was also good because we had kind of lost touch. I think that will change. One funny things was how interested Kristen was in who i have been dating. I sure as hell wasnt asking about her husband. then the drive home the next day was rough because of the snow storm we got hit with. they have no idea how to plow this stuff of drive in it down here. though i must say, i do not really care for this weather anymore. i used to miss that about home, the cold nites and going from bar to bar shivering, then getting inside where it is warm and packed full of people yakking away, and washing the chill away with a molson or a labatts. I wanted to call and wish kerri a happy valentines day, it was a really important day in our relationship last year. but of course that was last year. the interview tomorrow is at 1130 then i have to do laundry, and a whole bunch of other fun things. though i think we have made an official decision to bring Thursday Nite Fun Club back from the dead. hang out in RVC. well i am going to sign off and make some dinner for myself. i hope you ladies have fun at jenks house if you go for wine and cheese. have some for me. If i were home i would have taken you all out. lol. Happy Valentine's Day all.

So its friday nite again. it feels as though i have been begininning with so a lot lately. well i had an interview this week with AXA financial and i am actually excited. i really would like the job, its a great opportunity. right now i am seriously intoxicated, so please do not mind any typos. met this really nice gal from toronoto who lives here now. it was good talking with some one from "home" cmon seriously, T.O is basically buffalo's big sister now. anyways. last nite i sang kareoke with kerri's lil sis. it was a wild and wolly nite. started off witha few innocent cocktails, and led to john denver and my ex's lil sis and i singing a duet. tonite (sat) i get to see another ex who is 26 and married to a 42 year old, they own 2 phsy rehap clinics, just built a million dollar house in syosset, and have a kid. i am unemployed, well delivering for a deli and on unemployment. surprisningly i am happy. there are times when i think what the fuck, but hey. i have great friends here. and i wouldnt' trade this for anything. well sometimes i wish i was home so i could hang out with all fo you awesome peeps. i am just going to bed now. gnite all. we are supposed to get socked with snow. 12 inches. yeah, its supposed to be a disaster. if they only knew what we get up home!!haha have a goood weekend