Hey again -
Been a while since I blogged. Been busy with job and moving issues, shared, of course, with
(e:chico). (xoxo)
The major reason i'm here today is because i need to vent/tell a story. Reading
(e:ladycroft)'s journal about her grandmother's passing kind of prompted me to tell you guys about this: FAIR WARNING!! It's long - total vent-age posting....
Today is my paternal grandmother's 98th birthday.
Normally, a cause for celebration. Not so much for me.
Here is some of the story:
When I was a child, my paternal grandmother and grandfather (straight off the boat from Italy) took care of me because my parents both worked (we never had a lot of money - even in the 70's my mom and dad both worked and they did until my second sister was born).
When I was 10, my father, the dutiful son, took his elderly parents as his responsibility and moved us all into a 2 family house (duplex to you WNY'ers *wink*).
My grandfather was a tough guy, but he was gentle with us as kids - always in the garden or in the garage, working with his hands, or playing mandolin and singing. He died in 2001 at the ripe old age of 95. In many ways, I still miss him.
My grandmother is fatalistic, old fashioned (which isn't always a bad thing, but in her case...), guilt trip laying and sometimes, flat out mean. She lectured my mother for HOURS about what a horrible mother she was -she made my parents feel GUILTY for going on vacation and "leaving me here in this house by myself like a dog". Oh - good stuff, good stuff....
After 24 years of taking care of my grandparents and dealing with their BS (and I mean SERIOUS BS), in 2003, my grandmother and my aunt (father's sister) more or less gave my parents a Hobson's choice - sell the house and split with grandmother or buy out her half. My parents could never afford to buy her out, so they were forced to sell - I'm sure auntie knew this, btw. (g-ma went to live with auntie in her big cold house. How fitting.)
My parents move into a townhouse which, any of you who follow real estate in this area know, was WAY overpriced because of the market. So -there they are - age 57 and 63 with a >$150K mortgage and hardly any savings. Nice.
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In June 2005, one year to the day, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
To make a very long story short(er), my dad had surgery to de-bulk the tumor and had some radiation, but the tumor was very aggressive. He died 3 days before Christmas 2005.
Dad's family's behavior throughout the trauma has been abhorrent. They are all control freaks, first of all, and they did not like the fact that my father and mother and my sisters and I made decisions "as a family". To this day, they blame US for "killing him" by "letting him" have the surgery. My grandmother leads the charge, by the way, fed by propaganda from my aunts.
During the time that my father was sick and dying, they abused my mother - called her to yell at her, tell her they disagreed with what she was doing, spit some shit about me and my sisters and then hang up. They would do this on a regular basis. No one from that side of the family brought my mother food or invited her over for lunch or dinner (save for my aunt once or twice). No one bothered to call to ask how SHE was doing.
Is THIS what they call support? Sticking together as a family? What family? Self-serving assholes, every last one of them. How DARE they call and harass a woman who is watching her husband of 36 years die before her very eyes?!
Of course, none of those bitches called ME. 'Cause I would have told them JUST what I thought. And they KNOW it. 'nuff said.
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So, now it's 6 months since my father died. I struggle with this every...single....day. I am still dealing with my grief and all of the life changes I have to adjust to. That I am not bowing down to the queens of Sheba after they treated us with SUCH repulsive behavior (of which I'm SURE I only know a fraction) should not be a suprise. I need to take care of myself, my mother and my sisters. THEY are my family.
I have not spoken to my grandmother or my aunt since the funeral. Why should I have to deal with their guilt trips and their holier than thou attitutdes when I have my OWN grieving process to muck through.
(though my mom still calls them even today - and still gets abused because "no one TALKED to us at the funeral" or because "you killed my son" or because "no one calls me - i used to take care of them when they were kids.") Seems to me that, with everything that has transpired with the house, with my mom, with my dad, I'd say I have no other cheek to turn to them for them to SMACK.
If I was unrelated to these people and met them on the street, knowing how they've treated my mom and my family, would I want to be associated with them?
Am I the only one whose family unit seems to get smaller and smaller as they get older? What is WRONG with people?
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So my mom is trying to guilt me into calling my grandmother on her birthday and/or calling my aunt, "just to say hello". Last time I called her, she hung up on me pretending she didn't know who I was (she is NOT senile, btw). That was even before my dad was sick...
Call grandmother on her birthday -Hmmm.....let me think about it.....
Maybe not this year.
Here is a photo of my dad playing his clarinet. He taught himself to play by ear since his family never had money for lessons:
Play on, daddy-o....
I'm surprised no one said anything about The Aqua Teen Hunger force picture (good show that I never get to see) it is kinda ironic that you are asking about food. But I will suggest a couple places. I assume you want to eat at a local place and not at a chain like Applebees on Delaware wich is part of the target plaza near by there is an Andersons who don't only sell ice cream and a sub place called quizmos. Havn't been there in some time but Elmwood Taco and Subs ETS might be a choice. If you want more of a sit down place there is always Panos also on Elmwood across the street is a good indain place India Gate if I remember correctly. Or if you are up for some fun you can explore Hertel I know there are a few differant Resturants you could try there.
i've had mixed luck with globe, but it's certainly worth checking out. Not to mention it's right across from our beloved spot. And right next to our beloved larson twins. And the sushi place. I'm not worried about you finding food. :)
Maybe I'm just a simple soul....but kids...I've got three words for any new Buffalonian: JIM'S STEAK-OUT!!! (Is that 3 words, 2 and a half, or just 2? who's counting??) It's cheap, and it's Buffalo. 'nough said. ;)
Have fun in the B-lo. I'm playing "portable dive platform" for a couple of new friends out here tonight...we'll see just how much I've mastered the kayaking on the open ocean thing...
I second or third the love for the falafel bar. Pizza Wise - Just Pizza on Elmwood works with Mr. Pizza being just fine as well.
El Canelo makes good cheap Mexican dishes.
Cecelia's on Elmwood makes great pasta dishes - but its too damn hot for them.
Surprised nobody mentioned Spot for the sandwiches there.
It's Elmwood, you won't starve
i second the romeo and juliets, get the portabello pizza with gargonzola. it feeds two and is truly the best pizza i've ever had. 1292 hertel ave. :::link:::
I would suggest globe market. It is right in the heart of the elmwoodstrip and you can walk around that area. It at 762 Elmwood Avenue right around the corner of Cleveland and Elmwood. Grab an artvoice newspaper while you are there, it will give you plenty of stuff to do. IF they don't have one, you can get one across the street at spot coffee.
+1 for Romeo & Juliet's :::link:::
+1 for Ikea Burlington :::link::: [Bonus: spend > CDN$200 and get your sales tax refunded :::link::: ]
- Z
yeah I second falafel bar (or is that third...)
And as far as furniture- there's a new store called Room on elmwood (near falarel bar actually) that looks cute but I haven't been in. But as far as staples, there Ikea an hour or so away in Canada. I love that place.
I highly recommend Taste Good Chinese :::link::: . It is a total dive, like quite a few strip mall chinese food places.. but the food is very good, very inexpensive (lunch specials, for both myself and Uncut will be less than 10 bucks), and, to make everything even better, then have really good vegetarian choices (i think i recall you or Chico mentioning you're a vegetarian?). I love their vegetarian orange beef and the vegetarian curry chicken is really good too... if you like a wee bit o spice.
I agree with Libertad that the Falafel Bar on Elmwood is good! So is Sahara Grill (even if the service isn't great, the food is not too shabby), on the corner of Elmwood and Bidwell Parkway.
Maybe it's me, but i have never had great luck at Globe... Like having limited choices and staff that can't seem to understand being a vegetarian means i do NOT want the chicken.
Also, if you don't mind a bit of a drive, El Canello :::link:::
has darned good Tex Mex for very reasonable prices.
I always reclean a place that i move into. It just doesn't seem right unless you do it yourself in my book. Food hmmm.
Romeo and Juliets-hertel ave (good sandwiches under $10)
falafel bar- elmwood (great falafel and fish fry)
Globe market-elmwood (fresh and healthy relatively cheap)