Last Monday, my friends and I got together to make freezable dinners for a neighbor (actually their neighbor- I live in a different neighborhood). My friend Janelle had gathered us together on this mission, and, not too long before that, she had rallied the others to do the same thing for me. We were not gathered together for some freezable dinner of the month club, rather we were gathered together because the neighborhood woman is expecting within the month. I didn’t know this woman very well, but, nevertheless, I was thrilled to be there. This may seem strange to some, but it felt good to “pay it forward.” When I had my daughter, earlier this year, I was finishing my last year of law school. Those meals that my friends gathered together to make were a saving grace, because for a whole month I didn’t have to worry about what was for dinner.

While I was in my friend’s house cooking, it just hit me how great that moment was. It also hit me how cliché the moment seemed, at least at first glance. However, this moment was anything but cliché. We were all gathered together in one kitchen to cook, to drink beer, to talk about husbands, children, business, work, and a whole host of other topics. The sad thing is that I think, for some, moments like these are under appreciated. We live in a society that praises all these typical “male” characteristics of keeping our emotions to ourselves, not letting others get the upper hand, and maintaining a “kill or be killed” kind of attitude. Maybe those characteristics are overrated. Maybe we need to do better to appreciate more “feminine” characteristics like nurturing others, showing affection for others, and having a more cooperative attitude. Put another way, I think the true picture of feminism is not only that women can perform just as well as a man, but also that women don’t have to do things the same way that men do in order to prove that.

So, what am I saying exactly? Well let’s talk about what I’m not saying first. I’m not saying that women are just nurturing, hormonal, chocolate lovers, who love to be in the kitchen, and that women should focus on cooking meals instead of negotiating the sale of a business, etc. What I am saying is that, as women, we don’t have to be ashamed if we want to get together, talk, and cook a meal for the pregnant lady across the street so that her family can focus on more important things than dinner, and doing so does not mean that we can’t negotiate the sale of a business, etc.

So, thank you, Janelle. It was truly my pleasure.