Over the last ten years I have gone through a series of friends. I have decided this has been weighing on my conscious so I thought it time to write it out. Each friendship was a unique experience and as all real relationships have their ups and downs. Their where moments of ecstasy; moments of hum drum mundanity; moments of tempers flaring; moments of pure bliss and contentment. There were always emotional moments filled with passion and love in every one of those relationships. Or at least that is my perspective. Even within the power of love there is loss and grieving. For each unique individual that friendship is a moment in my life, good, bad or indifferent, I chose to get close to these individuals.
    I may explore in a future moment each individual, but I think it is the weight of the quantity. See I have always had this belief that friends are golden. Special people should never disappear without a cause or a reason. I have recently had to explore the idea that people serve a purpose and then leave, a new nuance for me to learn about in the genre of friendships. The weight comes with the quantity of people. Uncle Ray used to say about my eccentric behavior exhibited at quite an early age; “She is either too stubborn to quit or is too stupid to know the difference.” Sometimes I think there is an interesting recipe constantly under revision that creates me and there seems to always be a little bit of both.
    So my first response was what did I do wrong? Second thought was how do I fix it? And inevitably came the-what if there is nothing I can do? I then came to the perspective of: you can only control how you feel about a situation, so I began focusing on what I could change and do something about that. In retrospect, I began to zoom out and try to perceive the larger picture. My best friend gave me another concept: “Some Friends Have Expiration Dates.” Some people are there to help you through one thing and then move along. Which triggered another reverie about “Eyes are the Windows to the Soul, but how can we see ourselves?” I answered this question in college by realizing that we are all constantly evolving into the best possible “US” we can be, ideally. So each person is a mirror into the Soul of the Viewer. We see that part of ourselves that is similar to that which we reflect to others. We bring about the part of the personality of the Soul in an individual that has the best receptivity to our own and vice versa. So as we navigate the “Path” of our lives, people reflect that which we both love and dislike about ourselves. I choose for these last ten years to work on the part of dislike. When I was a child it bothered me as to why people did not like others. I then was faced with not liking someone myself. I then had to ask myself how am I like or similar to this person and began to work on the person I wanted to become. All these experiences have taught me to become the person I wanted to be. These ideas are all very important knowledge to have learned. Yet, each time I always worked on myself. I hope I have offered others something in return for their time and energy while they were in my life. The concept of reciprocity has always been important to me.
    My Best Friend reminding me that these people came into my life for the time we shared a common interest or goal. This is where the expiration date comes, just like death you never know when it might be coming, but it seems to be an inevitable fact of life. So then there levels of importance for every relationship, but how do you know how to prioritize without being able to look at the end? Death is different in the time expired, because that soul has moved onto another plane of existence. Here, when the friendship expires we still live in the same city, you still know each other’s address, you still have each other’s phone number and yet the window of opportunity has ended.