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Metalpeter's Journal

metalpeter
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11/15/2015 18:13 #60334

Robbed & Reflections & Not Ok
Category: life
So I may make this private this is the first time on line writing about this

I wanted to post this a few weeks ago .....

Not sure how long ago it was maybe about 2 months ago .... work was very busy I think the guy who was off with surgery was about to come back or was back and had a day off I can't remember ... In any event we had a lot of work so I did my alarm goes off at 4:30 wake up and get out the door to the bus ..... Well like an Idiot my area is generally safe .... Playing on phone (Bad Idea ) , But honestly the guy would have had jump on me anyways nothing I could do ..... It isn't like in the movies where you know Kung Fu things slow down and you hip toss the guy ...... I bring that up cause like the movies guy had bandanna like a bandit with a gun the entire empty the pockets code to your phone thing argh .....

So I called the cops and got things that I could turned off and got someone to get me to work..... As crazy as that sounds there are a couple of reasons 1. I have an alarm code and it was in my wallet 2. I couldn't call in the bosses phone number was in 2 places the phone and wallet both gone 3. There was a lot of RAGE I don't mean being angry this is a different feeling I think things would have got smashed .....

So I go into work and talk to my boss and tell him the Basics and go to work .... And Yes I was rattled for sure not as much as one would think I would be ... It almost didn't seem real .... In any event I couldn't talk to anyone about it ....

...... I wasn't really late or maybe I was but people noticed I wasn't there so they knew something was going on. Hence people where guessing stuff and that did make me feel better but I did wind up explaining stuff ... So People at work knew but not sure how far it went and family knows but unless people noticed the way I posted changed maybe someone or people figured it out .... But not posting over there .... Granted I have alluded to something here and there but I won't post anywhere else ......

I don't know a lot about Trauma I get that this is not as bad as other Traumas and I'm not saying that mine is more then anyone else's ... But what Is messed up with mine is : I thought I was ok that I was getting over it past it but I'm not .... I can't go to the same Bus Stop yet when it is dark not there yet ... Also every day I go to work and it is dark you feel it not stress kinda anxious but not really ..... I was going to go to a musical I could not go at night I just couldn't Hard to explain ... It is hard to know what is ok to say nothing is going to happen I will be fine I tried that it didn't work so went to a Early Saturday show .... I at least know I have more work to do ..... It also makes one see things different way .... I like James Bond and enjoyed the movie but the guns in it did get to me a bit But they don't on TV shows ? I see people on there phones and notice how much they only see what is on them ..... I use to be one of the people that would look down then up and be pretty good at it ......

I sorta lost my way but I still re live it .... In the small things like getting a new regal card cause it was stolen .... I don't re tell the entire story or even type in phone number at walgreens same thing .... It is not like how they show it on TV where you see the object and then you re see the entire thing thank god ..... But I am hoping that the reliving it ends at some point maybe it never does..... I would assume that your body doing that is a way to protect one .... This Wends I have another appointment where I guess I have more stuff to talk about .... I thought I was getting better .... Most days are ok but and now that it is not so dark if I need to leave early it isn't as bad .... Sometimes stuff just hits you .......

It doesn't help when the Work place has a lot of BS and Stress ..... I don't know if any of what I wrote makes sense or is even clear
metalpeter - 11/16/15 19:28
(e:ExBuffalonian) that sounds worse then what happened to me ... Cause with Buses if someone is on a certain bus they will most likely be on that bus again ... The other thing that bothers me is there where all kinds of photos on my phone and my idea is in my Wallet they assuming they just didn't take the cash and dump would know where I live Hey I'm going to go back and try again... Knowing the chances of that are small but it still messes with your head ....

(e:Libertad) I wasn't hurt like a little shaken up physically .....

One of the tough things is in the past I have been robbed before but that was pre e-strip days even pre myspace ...... Part of that was friends whom one would consider family living in the rough part of town or passing through it .... but it had been so long that it was over that was a thing of the past .... There was a time when I could feel people behind me where I would notice shadows .... But most of that faded still you see a group of people and decide if you think it is safe to walk past them.... last winter I thought I was going to have throw down with a pan handler ...... I thought I was being followed .... Not saying I'm a tough guy I most likely would have got my ass kicked .... That was just from some past things still effecting me some but thought I past it but now with this ......

paul - 11/16/15 13:49
That's so terrible. No one should have to feel unsafe in their own environment waiting for the bus.
ExBuffalonian - 11/16/15 13:19
Sorry that happened to you. Like Libertad wrote, I also had a similar experience, being assaulted on a bus in Baltimore by someone who didn't like the way I looked and singled me out. I couldn't take the bus at night anymore without getting nervous and sweaty and having my heart nearly beat out of my chest. In fact, I had to buy a car and start driving to work as a result of my attack. I don't like to talk about it much, because I feel like it makes me sound weak or fragile. But I hope it helps you to know that there are many people, probably closer to you than you think, who know how you feel and that you're not alone. You should also realize that you are probably safer than ever before now that you can add this terrible event to the list of things that make you wiser through life experience; you know better how to protect yourself in the future.
libertad - 11/16/15 09:51
Oh man, I'm so sorry Peter. We're you hurt physically? I got jumped when I first moved to Buffalo and it was during the day. I didn't get seriously hurt but went to ER because I wasn't sure if I got a concussion from my head hitting the pavement. For a really long time after I felt similar feelings of being afraid to go places and was always looking over my shoulder and would walk with things in my hands to use as weapons, I even had some nightmares. It got better with time but I still never trust anyone and I trust my instincts now, if someone gives me a bad feeling I cross the street to get away (if possible). Again, sorry to hear this happened to you, hope you stay safe.

11/15/2015 17:31 #60333

The Summer Of Work (aka why I was away )
Category: work
I like (e:strip) but but it like anything else is a habit that I have to be better at ... There is only so much Internet time ... The longer the work day the smaller that window gets I honestly forgot about the mobile site .....

Where I work we get orders for product that gets shipped out .... The amount of work we get daily varies .... So what happens is when you have the right amount of staff you normally get the work done and what has to leave the building leaves and isn't late ..... But we where under staffed and some days I would need to come in early to try and get the work done .... Getting people to stay late is tough it really is ..... It was not a lot of OT but it was some ...

After that we had a guy go down he had to have surgery ..... could have been anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks might have wound up being 9 I don't know ..... There where some days that I worked early aka my old time and stayed late ..... I wouldn't plan stuff for Saturday cause I knew I would need to work to get it done ..... Some Saturdays people would come in before me but not work long enough so I would need to work all day to get the work low enough that we would be ok on Monday.... How crazy things got I can't really explain .......

The Saturday of MIA I told them I couldn't work but other then that I worked them... Oh except this one where no one could open the place so I worked extra late for me ... I know long Hours are not like nurses but with the commute a long day to me ......and yeah one feels it for sure ......

I also went to some things that I wanted to post about but I had so many photos it was to hard to know where to even start .....

I also admit as I watch things I TV I like to live tweet with others watching ....

I do keep up with a lot of people on Facebook as well but those updates are not the same as blog posts here .... But in that craziness I could hardly keep up over there as well .....

Yes I myself called it the Summer Of Work I never really got to get away anywhere .....I'm doing a bad job of explaining it but imagine you had to move 100 bags of flower and you 5 guys that is 20 each lets say you get that done right at the amount of time you wanted to spend well now you only have 4 guys now you each need to get 25 and you are behind then you have your next task .........

It was often very stressful but the OT was nice not going to lie but the lack of time was not .......
metalpeter - 11/22/15 16:42
It is odd how long days can sneak up on me at least ... I feel fine then out of no where why am I sleepy I assume it is like that for others as well ....
paul - 11/17/15 00:19
My life is exactly the computer programming version of that.

07/12/2015 08:49 #60106

Taste Of Buffalo not live
Category: buffalo
So I wanted to post mobile on here yesterday but Battery power was a real issue .... I like the hot weather but it and TheSun and groups standing in middle of road was tiring but every thing was good

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joe - 07/15/15 00:35
Do you post from the iPhone browser or your computer?

Wish we were in town for it. Seems like it had a lot of chain restaurants now though?
metalpeter - 07/12/15 08:50
Why it double posted pics not sure what I did wrong

11/15/2015 17:31 #60332

The Summer Of Work (aka why I was away )
Category: work
I like (e:strip) but but it like anything else is a habit that I have to be better at ... There is only so much Internet time ... The longer the work day the smaller that window gets I honestly forgot about the mobile site .....

Where I work we get orders for product that gets shipped out .... The amount of work we get daily varies .... So what happens is when you have the right amount of staff you normally get the work done and what has to leave the building leaves and isn't late ..... But we where under staffed and some days I would need to come in early to try and get the work done .... Getting people to stay late is tough it really is ..... It was not a lot of OT but it was some ...

After that we had a guy go down he had to have surgery ..... could have been anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks might have wound up being 9 I don't know ..... There where some days that I worked early aka my old time and stayed late ..... I wouldn't plan stuff for Saturday cause I knew I would need to work to get it done ..... Some Saturdays people would come in before me but not work long enough so I would need to work all day to get the work low enough that we would be ok on Monday.... How crazy things got I can't really explain .......

The Saturday of MIA I told them I couldn't work but other then that I worked them... Oh except this one where no one could open the place so I worked extra late for me ... I know long Hours are not like nurses but with the commute a long day to me ......and yeah one feels it for sure ......

I also went to some things that I wanted to post about but I had so many photos it was to hard to know where to even start .....

I also admit as I watch things I TV I like to live tweet with others watching ....

I do keep up with a lot of people on Facebook as well but those updates are not the same as blog posts here .... But in that craziness I could hardly keep up over there as well .....

Yes I myself called it the Summer Of Work I never really got to get away anywhere .....I'm doing a bad job of explaining it but imagine you had to move 100 bags of flower and you 5 guys that is 20 each lets say you get that done right at the amount of time you wanted to spend well now you only have 4 guys now you each need to get 25 and you are behind then you have your next task .........

It was often very stressful but the OT was nice not going to lie but the lack of time was not .......

07/05/2015 22:54 #60101

2015 4th Of July and more
Category: photos
So There will be pictures but gotta vent first .............

So I had off on Friday the 3rd and I thought about going to see The Bisons and BPO but Work is Physically and Emotionally tiring It is all ways a long day and got longer recently since so much work ..... So I was pretty tired anyway and on 4th was going to be a long day .....

I got to wake up around 5AM for a live wrestling event that was live from Japan on line ... That was great to wake up have breakfast watch wrestling and talk on line then get some rest and off to Ellicotville with Sister and Niece and Friend and Friends mom was going to ... It was BPO and some stars wars music ......

Ellicotville :

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You can't see it (also not sure why double posted ) but my Niece got a lot of Attention for the Skeleton / Day Of The Dead but it glittered and around the Eyes it was pretty cool ........

Holiday Valley:

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