It's odd how when I'm down at Canalside I get this odd feeling like I'm in Toronto on another timeline. It's weird because I think for a moment I'm at the foot of Yonge St. I guess some of the same elements are there, The NHL Hockey arena, the "Financial District" near by & of course the most precious to my heart, Old Industrial stuff & a Great Lake of course.

I guess a part of me wishes I could buy a condo right there. Since I missed out on the boom in Toronto. Then again Buffalo doesn't have really much in terms of new construction as most of the new lofts downtown are all rentals. With that in mind I'm not interested in throwing money away. But in all actuality I So wish one of the rooms in the Harbor Center Marriott was a condo that I could buy.

So I'm trying to get out of the house & overcome a few fears that I've had over the last 5 years now.

I'm actually out & about today while posting on my phablet iPhone 6 plus. Yeah Not to bring up the old drama about an app but who needs one when you have a big screen & processing power? Although I have to admit I have been posting using the LiveJournal app! Yeah I still check that place just due to a few old friends, I still can't believe it's mostly Russian, who knew?

Anyway with friends dying & life getting crazy collectively I guess my perspective has changed about life. Yes I've had a ton of loss family wise bit sometimes you can't see the forest through the trees when you're in the middle of it. The only way to describe my perspective on life these days is like when jigsaw gave a speech on appreciating your life in a saw movie after someone won a game & survived. In some ways I feel like that after my friend died in Oct.

So maybe my New Year's resolution will be to use this site when I'm out and about in the city? Also have to figure out a way how to upload pictures for work around with flash on an Apple product.

It was a bit sad to hear about our old friend last night having to deal with a personal issue. I'm getting back out there & making a conscious decision to get back out into the world. Going to the party last night was a "no brainer" given how the concept of "life is presciously short" has punched me in the head over the last 6 weeks or so. Everything was great & it felt good to see some old familiar faces. Yes it was a bit overwhelming at first but it did feel like a good comfortable college party.

Honestly it him coming out would have made the night even better. When you're in that state of mind where you want to preserve you just have to get in that comfortable place in your mind first. I guess going for so many years put a bit of confidence that usually I don't have. Usually I'm paranoid about my car in the city (This is a huge issue that I still need to work on), but I knew that if I got there early enough I'd get that nice sweet spot between driveways further down the street.

Even though I kind of had minor triggers of reminiscing about a former friend & an ex girlfriend on the same street, it was good to see how absurd those concepts were. Yes my ex was a descent thing at the time but honestly it wasn't going to work. Although I have to say not having a girlfriend in the city & physically not being up there is something I wish I could change.

Anyway here is the song that I had in my head as I was the lead singer as my costume. Sorry about the video as the colorized clean version was scrubbed when Gregg when he disbanded everything about the New Radicals. It was feel good music then & still holds up to this day.



In all it was an awesome night, I just wish our friend could have came out & snapped a few pics.

Although I'm not back in the SRQ (I've had a few facebook friends & someone I have listed on Twitter down there over the last week) I've found myself in my mind drifting back to when I was younger & "lived" down there more often. Ok it was more like I was in college on break visiting & the mindset I had that I felt like I recently tapped back into as of late. Maybe it's all the free time I've had lately to decompress from away from the cub. Also it could be the time added time that I've had to introspect once again. Although that can be horrendous as what happened for 6 months after Feb this year where I totally went off the rails emotionally.

But I've rediscovered some old books that I purchased down in Sarasota & with my free time I'm trying to at least stimulate my mind once again is this distressed time I'm having at the moment. The downside is that I'm feeling kind of like I'm a waste at the moment. The thought of volunteering has crossed my mind. I wish I was just wasn't so stupid earlier this year with money as I would have moved away for a bit.

Anyway I actually took another step today & went out in the city for a bit today. Yeah it's been a while but I was able to plan it out & enjoy a beautiful day sipping a smoothie with a bunch of people from a meetup. It's just good to get back into a good place & start taking baby steps again.

So with every time that someone passes it seems that this always reminds us of our mortality. I think with Walt he was totally prepared for what the great beyond was all about & passed over with a scenario in his mind and soul. He was one of the greatest thinkers that I ever have known in my life. In some ways even though I may have been in presence less than 10 times overall ((e:strip) parties & maybe a concert or two?) I knew that he was always around digitally. Yes this mostly was on facebook towards the end of his life (last 5 years) as it seems that blogginig is a lost art & updating a status or sharing a pic on your mobile smartphone is what we're all about. It is sad as it seems that now facebook has just become a forum where we share other(s) content from 3rd party sources. Although Walt did share some thought inspiring content like abandoned places or 1970's NYC pics. He has a brain & shared his intelligent thoughts with all of us.

I'm happy that his experiences (old school punk rock), insights and thoughts will be with us digitally. Whenever he commented on a post I always was happy that he noticed. Also I'm pretty sure that he is one to have contemplated his existence & life as it's too late to do that once you're gone.

Lastly he gave me hope (As I'm also in the very far from Brad Pitt in the looks dept also) that one day I may find love of someone of upstanding character despite our challenges.