My initial guilt-laden statement for the evening is: I just got misty eyed watching Gordon Ramsey berate a duo of quarreling French siblings in a shitty LA bistro. Why don't I get to have a show where you tell everyone they're fucking stupid and their food tastes like shit? I would be so GOOD at that. I also feel that I could toss a plate aside with greatest disdain and make a sweeping motion to clear a whole tray of glasses in one great, grumpy smash... someone just has to give me a TV show and all the monies.

I am my own kitchen nightmare as I churned out pizzas and soup and cookies all weekend for the deceptively thin Cookie Monster who is Casey. Clearly, when you look at us side-by-side, you would assume that I'M the one drinking whole milk and eating cookies at night, but noooo. Much to his chagrin, I bought him a Christmas prize of Tokaido. It was the prettiest looking game at the nerd store and all the pear shaped, bearded man workers heartily agreed that it was a good game. They were very nice. The concept is easy, the details take a little adjustment to remember but it's a very easy game. You are progressing down a road and along the way collecting food, souvenirs, scenic vistas, and whatnot all while trying to block your opponents from having any fun. Since I am all kinds of ADD non-focused, the multiple cards, pictures, tokens, and buttons are ample distraction and perfect if you're looking for a Christmas choking hazard for toddlers (yes).

On Christmas Eve, I partook in my usual Tour Of Other Peoples' Holidays because I'm a holiday orphan. If you have a celebration, funeral, religious ceremony, or coming-of-age pageant, I will show up and observe you and drink up all your booze. My darling Liz and her family always let me into their home on Christmas Eve and it is very charming with figurines of santas and many, many doilies. Liz' mom Kate is a very intelligent, accomplished woman who somehow manages to maintain a dignified way of making anyone and everyone feel welcome and that she cares about them and is interested in their lives, which i think is a very charming social skill. Daddy Vince is a welcoming lover of toastmaking and is also very hospitable. I drank about 2 gallons of punch and vodka. They made little stations of heavy appetizers and it was very nice to circulate around and plunk down next to a new person and nibble and chatter before moving on, a very good idea.

Sadly, none of the pictures i'm trying to upload will work, so you have no visual evidence of anything. :(

Christmas Day, the never-to-be-photographed Casey arrived on the train and we hermitted at home and cooked and watched movies. It was very cozy and nice. Friday I had a couple of friends come over and play Tokaido with us. I think Casey had fun (?). My friend Ian successfully assassinated two people in the evening, continuing a game of Assassin that we started in the summer! I had a party and we all decided to assassinate each other and drew names. The more dedicated players waited until people had forgotten about it and have snuck in and finished people off. I would love to play Assassin with a whole town. My paranoia would finally be justified.

When I type on my outdated, decrepit, coughing old imac, I feel a certain victory for the cave dwelling technologically lazy people of the world. There is literally a felted layer of dust on it worthy of a Scottish fisherman's sweater. I also own a typewriter. I also have impeccable handwriting. So my blog will be a mincing child-step into interneting.

I've had all kinds of blogs, actually. The writing starts out in glorious rivers and then dries up to pitiful droplets and eventually dies completely. LiveJournal, anyone? Since no one is actually going to read my thing, I am going to babble to myself.

In keeping with this Buffalo theme, Casey and I went to celebrate Festivus with Joe's family. They are Identical Mouth Family and they can never lie about being related because they are all twinsies, it's very cute. I failed to get a picture of Mama-san because I didn't want to point a camera right in her face, but she made delicious homemade calzones that were delightful. Airing of Grievances was quite charming and apparently everyone was agrieved with poor Joe, but I was mostly enraged with Wegmans. I spend $150 every time I walk in there, even if it's for a lightbulb. You are entranced by the noises and lighting and in 5 minutes I've got armloads of cave ripened cheeses and exotic fruit. Fuck that shit.