(e:Dianne)'s second shoulder surgery is scheduled for Monday. After a week of being sick and then a blizzard, we're rather behind in our prep work. the apartment is reasonably clean, but we need to do laundry, get the brakes fixed on the truck, go to bloss, go grocery shopping, hit up target, and still have as much fun as possible in the limited time left. if her recovery is like the first surgery, it'll be close to two months before D can drive again, a few weeks before she can shower on her own, and at least a month before she can sleep in bed with me. that's probably the hardest part of it, not sleeping together. I will miss her touch the most. I'm treasuring each time she wraps her arms around me.

the cold and snow will have a significant impact on her independence - she just can't risk falling- and shivering hurts tremendously. hopefully I've prepared her pretty well (new coat, boots, gloves, hats, layers).

it's been a hard month. my beautiful puppy Nisha died, we've had ongoing bad news about D's legal situation, she got into that fight, then a sweet but somewhat lonely Christmas, flu, cancelled new years, blizzard... the wedding was a real joy, as were our couple of game nights (never enough gaming). I cherish our friends and hope that we don't strain those relationships because of our neediness over the coming weeks and months. oh, and for really fun things to look forward to... tax season starts now!

I hope to make the most of the next five days by being present for each precious moment, holding D every chance I get, and dancing wildly Saturday night at the Tralf. join us? :-)

More pix from the wedding (e:paul,58511) wrote about. We had a great time and when I sent the bride & groom a thank you note for inviting us, they both said that we were a lot of fun.

It was my first formal event ever and (e:Dianne)'s first tux-wearing opportunity. She looked great, didn't she? The boys looked incredibly handsome. I swooned for all three of them.

Since this was new to all of us, I read up on the details of proper "black tie" attire and the rules are pretty simple: Men must all strictly conform and not stand out; women have a lot of flexibility in what they can wear but sparkly seems to be key. As (e:Terry) observed, "That's very sexist."

The gender role expectations are very strong and so we knew that it would be disruptive that she was wearing a tux... but it kinda wasn't because she completely passed. We weren't really intending that either - D's very happy to be a woman and to be understood as a woman. One young woman had to sit for a moment when she realized that D was a woman... an older man was insistent that she use the men's room and she finally had to explain her gender to him. While we were eating dinner, the man next to D referred to her as "he" a couple times, she got up to take a smoke break, and then someone asked how we knew the bride & groom and each other, so I explained "They are my & Terry's clients, this is Terry my business partner, DIANNE is my fiancee, and Paul is Terry's husband". He continued to refer to Dianne as "he". (Another case of "why did that man's parents name him 'Dianne'?" )

So my thinking for next time we have a black tie event... if women have flexibility in their formal wear, and D won't wear a dress/wants to wear a tux, and we don't want to her to pass as a man... then she can wear a tux and do all the flamboyant things that I wouldn't let (e:Paul) do. She'll have purple suspenders or a vest and lovely purple ascot or whatever else her sweet heart desires to flag her as female while not violating her butchness.

All in all a very thought-provoking and fun event.

we had a lot of fun!

two of my & (e:Terry)'s clients are getting married tomorrow in a formal ceremony at a fancy club. we've rented three tuxedos and I have a fancy dress and painted toenails. it will be interesting!