is when the state comes to complete their annual certification of the program I oversee.

It starts with an ominous phone call. We're from the state. We'll be there shortly.

Then the rush begins. Staff warned. Supervisors called. Documents gathered.

Then the silence, while the state is flipping through paperwork, is punctuated with "hms" and scribblings of findings.

I miserably passed the day staring at the frantic scribbling from the corner of my eye while fiddling on my laptop. My stomach ached and burned through the day.

The lowest on the social hierarchy in this situation, I bite my tongue as the state provide feedback on the content of my paperwork that strikes me as incompatible with the forms that the same state demands I use. How can I argue the state when the state isn't clear on what it's doing?

The exit meeting is at the end of the day and I'm hopeful that it will bring relief. Instead, it brings more feedback. A summary of everything previously explained to me. How many times can I nod my head and say I understand before it seems insincere? But the negative is embedded in positive enthusiasm for the concept of the program, for the happiness of the participants, for the paperwork
generally being in order. I nod and smile weakly. They want me to stop being nervous. But why would I not be nervous? They spent the day scrutinizing my work. My hours and hours of work.

Tomorrow, we'll begin the work on addressing the 2 areas of deficiencies and I can rest easy until the phone call comes again in a year.

I ran in a 5k last night. My goal has been to run a 5k once a month this summer. I don't really care. I just pick a 5k and go. And I usually try to drag someone along.

Last night (e:drew), (e:changeisgood), and myself ran a 5k at some random Catholic church/Catholic school in Orchard Park. It was a huge turnout and probably the best after party I've ever been to.

Here's the funny part. You get a ticket when you register for a race and it's exchanged for one beer at the party after the race and all the food you can eat. Nothing beats sucking down a cold beer into your already dehydrated body after a race. However, at this party, you could get ALL the beer you wanted. They were passing it out in these small bucket like containers that I had to grasp with both hands while drinking. Hot dogs, however, those were restricted. Only two hot dogs per ticket. My mom paid $5 to attend the after party (because she didn't run) and she could have drank all the beer she wanted for $5. But no hot dogs.

I've convinced myself recently to make the most of my summer days by getting up earlier in the morning. I spend my extra time sipping coffee on the front porch and watching the neighborhood wake up. It's been a bit of a challenge to get up earlier than usual. But this morning I was rewarded with the sight of a beautiful cardinal fluttering around the front yard!

After soaking up the sun and summer, it's just a nice way to start the morning. Much better than rushing to get to work.

Two nights ago I ground up some cardamom in the coffee grinder. The scent lingered for a good two days in the kitchen, living room, and entry way making these areas of the house smell sweet and spicy and delicious.

This morning I experimented with trying to get a more concentrated or longer lasting scent.

I tried making a potpourri satchet. Failure.

Tried to use it like incense. Failure.

Then the internet told me to simmer the spices in some water. So right now I'm in heaven with the spicy cardamom, coriander, cloves smell.

If you want to replicate it....

A handful of cardamom seeds and a handful of coriander seeds lightly toasted in a skillet.
Grind in a coffee grinder. Add 10-12 cloves.

Put entire mixture with 1-2 cups of water on the stove. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer.

And if you like the cardamom taste, try grinding some in with your coffee beans. I cardamom pod should be enough for 1 cup of coffee beans.

Two years ago, when we moved into the house, I had a lot of time on my hands to fix up the house.

Paint was peeling and chipping from the bathroom door so I decided it needed some work.

I didn't want to just scrape and paint because it would look all uneven. And I didn't want to pay $50 to take it to somewhere and dip it to strip the paint.

So I stripped the door myself. Until I gave up when I realized there were six layers of paint underneath the glossy white and special tools were needed to strip the paint from the crevices.

So I hung the door up half stripped and uneven. It sat for a year.

I primed it when husband suggested I finish what I start. It sat for another year.

And today I finally finished.

Two years later... And more than $50 later... And several hours of my time later.... I painted it glossy white over an uneven surface.

I sure came out ahead, didn't I?