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Lauren's Journal

lauren
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01/28/2009 10:22 #47541

Jobby Job
So I just got a call from Heritage Centers saying that I am hired! As long as I pass the drug test...which shouldn't be I problem...i hope. This is good cause last night I discovered that I won't be getting any money from taxes this year and then felly broke her glasses and Ralphie just had to go to the vet for some three hundred dollar blood work and medicine. sigh.

can i just tell you how much of a worry warted first time mom I am? I was doing and all but then Ralphie started popping blood, sleeping all day and got this rash thing on his nose. I might have cried a little, telling him that we would take him to the doctor and he would be all better. yeah, thats me. haha. course, being the poor mom that I am, I opted for only the blood tests instead of the x rays and, of course, the blood tests came back fine. 200 plus down the drain. at least he is feeling better though...he is eating a "bland diet" of boiled chicken and white rice, which I made for him. Spoiled little shit. he loves it and probably won't be happy when he starts getting his regular food mixed back in.

Anyways, everyone cross their fingers for me and my clean system. I'll keep you posted.
imk2 - 02/03/09 16:41
what kind of job is it? what will you be doing? or did you already post this in another journal and i missed it?
libertad - 01/28/09 13:34
Congrats. The vet bills are so not fun.
leetee - 01/28/09 12:32
congrats on the job. :o)
james - 01/28/09 12:29
congrats!
mrmike - 01/28/09 11:37
Here's hoping u pee freely

01/21/2009 16:21 #47473

The Day After...
In response to (e:joshua)

ug. i have to disagree with you. I will confess that she certainly was not the most inspiring reader on the planet, but the poem is beautiful and appropriate. also, elizabeth alexander is an extremely well known and highly regarded poet, theorist, academic, etc. perhaps it is a surprise to the (white) american public that there was a black poet reading at the inauguration that they had never heard of.


In general

"Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here."

How many people were crying tears of joy? How many tears of pain for the many who died for that day, and I speak not of the men and women in the military, but the men and women who were brought to this country in the bowels of slave ships. who were not counted as entire human beings. who were beaten and murdered for protesting segregation. i am not being dramatic or sentimental but we have to ask ourselves what the tears are really about, and where have they been hiding? electing president obama, swearing him into office does almost nothing in the face of all that history. i kept asking myself yesterday, why... why is this such a "historical moment"? because the whites have opened the door and 'allowed' a black person in? i cried yesterday and i have to ask myself the same question. chances are there will be differing, but deeply connected answers.

i probably shouldn't have started this entry because i don't have the time to finish it properly. lets just say that i watched cnn for five hours and it made me tired. the complexities of this situation are too much for my brain and my heart to handle sometimes.

I forget who, but someone said that racism basically decides who gets to live and who gets to die.

"Say it plain, that many have died for this day."
lauren - 01/22/09 19:59
sigh. no, (e:joshua), i am not saying you didn't like the poem because she was black. i am also not suggesting that most people didn't know her because she was black. im not sure i understand your reference to fear of flying either...that was written by erica jong...am i missing something? and i do understand that i live in the academic world where she is extremely well known and that often that world is disconnected from the so called real world.

oh yes, and...i hate to disagree with you :) but... i do think most things are about race. and gender and sexuality and class and all that shit. this is of course not to say that i was targeting your feelings about the poem as being about race at all...and i was also not intending to sound as though all the black folks in the audience knew who she was because they are black. nor am i saying that all white folks are evil...but thats a whole nother entry.

(e:metalpeter) i just wanted to say that i think there is something really powerful about reading poetry aloud just as it can powerful to read to yourself. it depends on the poem, the person, etc. she wasn't the best reader, but the poem speaks for itself.
joshua - 01/21/09 19:20
Rather than accusing you of it, and then responding in vicious form as a result of it, I'll just ask then respond - are you suggesting that I didn't like her poem because she's black?

Fair enough on your opinion of the poem.

(e:lauren) I'm a very widely read person - I know who Elizabeth Alexander is. I'm also probably one of the few humans with "outies" that has read Fear of Flying... lol. I wouldn't call her "extremely well known" as a poet but that is just me. I think her selection had more to do with the fact that her brother was a Senior Advisor to the Obama campaign, and his sister happened to be a college professor that had a collection selected as a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in 2005 (well deserved honor).

I see her as well regarded *enough* but certainly not on the level of a Maya Angelou or Robert Frost when they were selected. It is no stretch to say that she's more obscure than her inaugural forebears. I'm not denigrating her by saying this - I think she was a worthy selection although I didn't like the poem. But let's not pretend that she is a mainstream name because that isn't true!

For me Maya Angelou is an example of an inaugural (black!) poet that almost everybody knows and knew at the time, including most of the evil white people.

I'd venture to guess that a vast, enormous swath of the 2m at the inauguration had no clue who she was (including many of those in Congress), and it was the most diverse crowd ever at an inauguration. It is hardly a crime that most people had and generally still have no clue who she is - most people don't know any poets whatsoever outside of whatever it is they read in high school.
metalpeter - 01/21/09 18:38
I didn't hear the poem since I didn't see the signing in of the new president. I did read the poem here. I don't think a poem should be read at an event like that. I know there are many kinds of poems and some use rimes and sounds. But see poems are made to be read, not spoken like a song. I know some of the hipsters might attack me. But a poetry slam is bullshit. I'm not saying it isn't talent but if you speak it, it is a song or a rap. Now some might say but there is no music. But freestyle (both real and made up on the spot, and fake where the person wrote it or thought before hand and presents it as if they are thinking it) rap doesn't use music. Reading a poem in class or with other people aloud is different then at a big event or a coffee house performance place. I'm not saying I wouldn't go to one of those. Yes I think that maybe those are a good thing and a good way to get kids to get into it and learn. But poetry is to be read to ones self and not alound at a big event like that.
jason - 01/21/09 18:35
Not to the extent that if someone doesn't dig her poem questions of racial bias arise. No, I do not agree with that.
james - 01/21/09 17:36
was yesterday not a time to see things through the prism of race?
jason - 01/21/09 17:14
Not everything is about race, or is appropriate to see through a race colored prism, especially when reading people you don't know that well. I think a poem can be great, or it can be utter shit, regardless of who wrote it or read it.

01/16/2009 11:53 #47423

Wiiiiiiiiiiiii
So (e:fellyconnelly) and I got a Wii. Ralphie hates it. He barks and growls and hides under the couch. I don't get it. He usually doesn't pay too much attention to the TV but even when he does he just tends to cock his head, stare, and lose interest in seconds. But not with the Wii. And it's mostly when the Miis are on the screen. Weird.

I went to the gynecologist today. Don't worry, I won't talk about it. But I did want to mention the little packet I got about Guardisil. This is the HPV vaccine that there are commercials for. But this little packet comes with headphones and an audio player so you can listen to "a girl like you" talk about her experiences. Really? What happened to reading? There is an on/off button, and play/pause button and sound adjustment, and it is all just a little larger than a credit card. A little thicker obviously, but compact nonetheless. Strange indeed.

I also have to take an antibiotic. No Alcohol for like 9 days. Seriously?

Grumble.

I have taken back my not so nice things i said about the job i am now working. I have a lot of respect for people who do this kind of work. I know and love many people who work in this field. I also have a lot of respect for babysitters, although i do not wish to conflate the two.
leetee - 01/17/09 01:25
(e:Janelle) is so right. State work is hard to come by. Often, you have to know someone. Least, that is how it seems to me. I do find it funny, in a sad sorta way, how many overtime calls i get, but yet there is a hiring freeze. Make sense? No.
james - 01/16/09 21:24
The Gynecologist is also a horrible, terrible, totally worth watching so you can tell your friends what a train wreck you just witnessed exploitation movie.
imk2 - 01/16/09 21:08
speaking of the gynecologist...in one of my women's studies classes we had to attend a live gynecological exam. apparently women don't know what their cervix looks like and this was an opportunity to find out. of course you did have the option to opt out if you were really grossed out. but i don't know how they got that approved through UB's planning dept? even it is the women's studies dept, it still seems a little out there. no?
janelle - 01/16/09 12:18
Heritage Centers just this week put a hiring freeze in place because of state budget problems. There's a 2 million dollar budget gap in the state OMRDD budget and of course that impacts us. So the agency probably froze the position that was paying 13.30 and replaced it with the other position that pays 9.30. I'm really sorry you had your time wasted, but I can assure you that they weren't trying to screw you over or play a trick. It's hard times here right now. I would recommend not applying at any DD or MH social service agency at this time. Every agency is in the same boat due to the state budget problems.

Because of state requirements, certain social service positions in the DD field may require a bachelors degree. But the state doesn't provide the agencies with the funds to pay a decent wage to someone with a bachelors degree. Ridiculous, isn't? I get enough pay that I'm comfortable, but I am far from sufficiently compensated given my experience, years as a supervisor and masters degree.

Meanwhile, the state pays their own state OMRDD workers much better than the workers in comparable positions in non-profit agencies and provides the state workers with cost of living adjustments while not passing on any additional funds to non profit agencies so they can give their workers COLAs. It's harder to get the job with the state though. Civil service test, waiting, paperwork.

01/11/2009 15:11 #47368

i suck
so i might have done a search yesterday for "free tetris" leaving our computer with the same or similar virusy thingy that effs up google that we had...oh, a while ago. grumble. we have been running our own anti virus whatever and free online ones, but no luck so far. i am asking for suggestions aka pleading for help.
tinypliny - 01/12/09 10:10
Use firefox (it doesn't guarantee you no viruses but its a start).
tinypliny - 01/12/09 10:09
I haven't had an antivirus software on my comp for years. And yes, I run Win XP Pro.

So, really it all comes to safe browsing habits. I think you can make a fair guess about which sites might be unsafe by looking at the address and the snippet of content that appears on google searches.

paul - 01/11/09 21:18
get rid of windows
lauren - 01/11/09 16:54
ok nevermind. i fixed it...for now ;) no more free tetris for me.

01/10/2009 14:20 #47348

laundry day
i have to do loads of laundry one at a time because, although there are two washers and two dryers in my basement, only one of the dryers sufficiently drys (dries?) clothes. i have three loads today. thats three and a half hours. plus folding. grumble.

felly and i had a loverly post christmas day together. as in, we spent all the gift cards we got for christmas. felly had a 50 for Old Navy, we both got a 30 for Olive Garden from my rents, and I had 70 for Barnes and Noble. we spent a lot of other people's money, and it was awesome.

I bought four books with my 70 schmackers. Four. Well, one of the books has four novels in one, so I guess, if I wanted to get technical about it, I got 7 books. Not bad.

For Pleasure (aka, non-fiction)

Octavia Butler - From Seed to Harvest (Includes Wild Seed, Mind of My Mind, Clay's Ark and Patternmaster)

Octavia Butler - Kindred

For those of you who don't know, Octavia Butler is one of the first Black Female "Science Fiction" writers...although to classify her work as such is a little misleading. She does deal with some out there stuff like vampires, the future, space travel and the like, but its always very socially progressive and fabulously interesting. I heart her like whoa.

For School

Black on White: Black Writers on What It Means to be White - Ed. David Roediger with contributors such as W.E.B. Du Bois, bell hooks, Zora Neale Hurston, Amiri Baraka, Langston Hughes, Toni Morrison, Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin, Alice Walker and a lot of other authors you should read.

The Michael Eric Dyson Reader by. (you guessed it) Michael Eric Dyson.
this book includes sections such as Theories of Race, Affirmative Action, Whiteness Studies, Afro-Baptist Radicalism and Rhetoric, Religion and Sexuality, Biocriticism and Black Icons, The Soul Musics of Black Folk, and Hip-Hop Culture, to name a few. It's a big book. I have never read or even heard of this guy before, but I have a strong appreciation for people who are both deeply intellectually theoretical and up to date on current cultural phenomena and are able to connect and intertwine them. I think this guy is one of those people.

I like books. A lot.

Oh and I have an interview on Wednesday. Word.
lauren - 01/11/09 16:56
i like bring (slightly) annoyed while reading...keeps me on my toes. i will certainly try to write about it when i do start, although i did decide to pick up the other book today and started that...although that too is a collection of essays and easier to skip around from that to another.
drew - 01/11/09 15:20
My guess is that he will annoy you some, but I know you will enjoy reading him. If you post what you are reading, I will do my best to read along and share my thoughts.

Have you heard his story about his PhD. Thesis defense? legendary.
lauren - 01/11/09 15:08
mish mish...and by non fiction i obviously mean fiction. in my head i always think non fiction equals not true. i have always had this problem.

and thanks drew, i appreciate the offer but i need to own my books :) although i am glad that you like it...its good to have someone's opinion other than the ones they put on the back.
theecarey - 01/11/09 00:36
made me grin-"bury me with my books"

that's more like it! ha

drew - 01/10/09 20:31
If you want to return your Dyson reader, I already have it. I am a big fan.
lauren - 01/10/09 17:39
I would suggest that economically speaking, Seed to Harvest is your best bet. It was 18.99 I think and Kindred is the type of book that you can get for like $1.00 on a used book website or at a used book store cause there are sooo many of them in print.

and yes, a more accurate statement would be, "my books are my best friends" or "bury me with my books", I am doing my thesis on black women's literature, so needless to say those are my fave. I think the Dyson book will be fabulous, but certainly will write about when I have put a dent in it :)
theecarey - 01/10/09 16:01
What does Butler's multi piece go for at B&N? I've been wanting to read, Kindred, so I'd rather buy Seed to Harvest to make sure I have her in my collection.

I'm betting that, "I like books. A lot", is an understatement, yes? :) I'm a fan of Kate Chopin, Tillie Olsen, Toni Morrison (currently reading, The Bluest Eye), Naomi Wolf (currently finishing, Misconceptions), and oh so many others. You have piqued my interest with, "The Michael Eric Dyson Reader". I'm often delightfully scouring bookstores aimlessly, so there will added pleasure in knowing what I will buy next.

Thanks!