ans some how in the comments there was talk about how guys ask or say stupid things to bisexual women and lesbians. I will admit I wanted to write this post at the time but didn't really have the time and the correct words to use I think I might now. I'm not defending sterotypes and not saying they are good I'm just trying to show a view point from a mans perspective. First of all I'm not a women so I can't imagine what it is like to be one, let alone to be bisexual or a lesbian. I think that the little bit of knowledge I do have is like most men's is flawed most likely.
I do think that the watching of porn does effect how men think of bisexual women. For example last night I caught part of this great movie there was this really sexy naked Asian girl with amazing breasts making out with this pretty tiny breasted white girl. So this guy is watching and he is getting turned on and then he goes and joins in. In this movie they don't show any dick. See that is a lot of guys fantasy two hot girls making out and them either watching it or taking part in it. See that makes sense for a lot of guys not only do they get to see one girl they get to see two and they don't have to see any cock (some guys don't want to see any so all they watch is girl on girl). It also gives the perspective on TV that you are watching it. I know it is only TV but I think stuff like that can enforce the male fantasy weather it is soft core or hardcore. In porn there are some girls who really do like other girls and then there are girls who are "gay for pay" meaning they don't like girls but do the scenes to get paid better or for the money. When watching a scene us guys don't think about this and I do think it does affect how we think of girls who are bisexual or lesbians (not the same but often viewed as the same incorrectly).
The Jerry Springer aspect. Yes it used to be a guilty pleasure of mine I will admit. I'm not only blaming him I'm sure there are other shows that only show the crazy side of people. But on even though at the end of the show he would have final thoughts and they were pretty good, I still think that what you saw over powered his thoughts at the end. The show was often about cheating and so when ever someone cheated on their partner with someone of the same sex as them it made everyone who is bisexual look like a slut. Some one would all ways say that just because you like both sexes doesn't mean that you should be with one person of each sex at the same time. I think shows like that can effect how people think about other people.
I'm not blaming TV and entertainment really even though it sounds like it, I'm more saying that I think it might help reinforce other ideas people may all ready have.
I don't know where I have heard my sterotypes but I know I have heard some. Like that lesbians hate men and are mean. Hey maybe some of them do but I doubt they all do. Yes I have heard that Bisexual girls are sluts. I don't believe that and the 1st lady that I knew was bisexual wasn't she had boy friends and girl friends but not at the same time from what she told me. Not that I would call someone a slut but some people are sluts and some are men some are women and some are stright, bi and gay that doesn't mean being bi makes you a slut.
Again I don't know where I have heard this stuff I really don't. I have heard that there are butch lesbians and fem lesbians and that only fems and butch lesbians will be with each other. Again I wouldn't know but that doesn't seem right. Why couldn't two pretty girls be together.
I'm sure lesbians and Bi sexual girls get a lot of stupid questions but I think most of them is because guys have this fantasy view of women's sexuality or just don't get it.
I think the thing with steroypes is they often don't make sense for anyone and you hear different ones that don't make sense. For example the typical one for blacks is that they love Watermelon and fried chicken. That makes no sense everyone likes friend chicken and besides that is more of a southern thing. I have heard people not use the right short hand for Asians. Like they order chinesse food and call it gook food, that would be koreans and the steroype of them is that they all have nail salons not that they sell you cat for dinner.
I think the reason sterotypes work is that there is a small amount of truth in them but just because they are true sometimes for some people doesn't mean they are completely true. But when you don't know anyone who fits those sterotypes then you don't have anything to disprove any of them. I think that leads to when you meet someone you might ask or say some stupid things, Ok that is the end my rant time to go watch the pregame then the Bills and later the Steelers. This was more of way of venting for myself really but if I said anything stupid let me know.
One thing I just want to add is that I'm not sure where sterotypes really come from other then other people are told them by someone else. I'm sure there is lots of media that is sexiest but one can't say that it all is or that all porn is. Some shows and Movies are made by women and they control the content and women do decide to act in it them selves.
I do think that sterotypes are used to keep people in power. I don't think they all are that way or start out the way. I think humans naturaly (plus with how we are taught) catogorize people. If there was a way to look at a girl and see she was gay it would save guys the time of going up to her at a bar.
I will admit that terms Like butch and Fems are social constructs. I also admit so are things that those terms are based of like what guys and girls look like and qualities of men and women.
I did mis speak a little bit. Beauty is in the eye of the person doing the viewing. That doesn't mean that someone who someone might call "butch" can't be pretty and that they aren't pretty. As aweful as this sounds guys can't help it most of the time every time they see a girl they do a quick look over and see how she looks and how she presents her self, she might be very heavy but her deep blue eyes lip piercing and face draws you into another world and then the super model next to her looks like if you kissed her she break 3 ribs. But that is what us guys do, we are pigs I will admit.
I also wanted to add that In my case at least I'm not the center of any womens sexuality, maybe if some lady is really horny and she can't find someone else then maybe she'll give me a call. That being said I think that men do want to be the center and when a women isn't interested they don't know what to do. As an example of that I was watching one those shows about a strip club with a buddy of mine and this one girl admitted she also liked girls, my buddy called her a dyke and switched the channel. My first thought was if you like seeing a naked chick on TV who cares if she likes girls even if you think it is wrong, my second thought was great now I don't get to see the stripper. But it was his place so I couldn't really say anything like what is wrong with you.
I think that even without porn and media pushing lesbian steroeotypes on us, in my personal experience I have met a bunch of lesbian couples that have one traditionally feminine looking partner and one more masculine partner. I don't think it would take a giant intellectual leap for a straight man to think that the feminine lesbian desires something phycially masculine, even if the masculine looking/acting partner offers something that no man ever could. It is confusing for straight men and porn/media only reinforces that confusion.
OK...where to start? In terms of porn, in my opinion there is a very fine line between what most people consider porn and what we see all over the television, magazines, billboards, music videos, etc.
Stereotypes...are meant to control, police, and maintain systems of power. They serve a very implicit function in our society, which is to allow people to attempt to comprehend those who they don't know or don't understand. Both stereotypes and media/porn function in the same way...they both produce and are produced by racist/sexist/homophobic assumptions.
You said "I have heard that there are butch lesbians and fem lesbians and that only fems and butch lesbians will be with each other. Again I wouldn't know but that doesn't seem right. Why couldn't two pretty girls be together"
This is really problematic Peter...this is exactly what I was talking about. You are assuming that first of all, "butch" lesbians are not "pretty". You are speaking of an aesthetic of women that is based on straight male views of what is or is not attractive. You have to realize that this and other assumptions of lesbianism are not simply based on innocent fantasies, but are rather the result of men thinking that they are always the center of women's sexuality and if they suddenly aren't, they don't know how to react. Of course, this too is the result of the ways in which we are taught and socialized to believe.