Recipe-writing is an art-form. The "Dire-Consequences" recipe elevates this art-form to its most evil pinnacle of glory. Reading a well-written "dire-consequences" recipe is a hair raising experience. Readers are taken on a roller-coaster journey of things that can go potentially wrong in the kitchen and are encouraged to take the sundry escape routes available. As if this were not enough, just as the reader is ready to quit and throw in the kitchen towel, it is subtly impressed upon the reader that only wimps take the escape route, and it does not behoove any adventurous kitchen-farer to start the recipe, and not finish.

The dire-consequences recipe is a very subtle samurai art of psychodeviant and subconscious kitchen torture. I am not claiming to be any kind of expert at this art. NO! Don't heave that sigh of relief yet because complacency is never the name of any game and I self appoint myself a dire consequences recipe-writer-wannabe. :)

So, all this bright, crisp, summer sunshine-soaked green outdoors inspired me to bring in that very same green into my early dinner, today. I made Avil Upma, but since none of you really know what that is, you could call it anything you like. It's traditionally a very light breakfast or "tiffin" or served at tea time in South India.

A sharp knife does short work of all this chopping about to follow, but if you have blunt knives, then your wrists might get tired easily. A demotivated cook is not really a good cook. Blunt knives are also known to bring on severe depression on many chefs and make them consider slitting their wrists. Considering all these ill-effects on wrists, in general, you might want to start with a well-sharpened knife.
1. Chop
- Green Beans
- Carrots
- Bell Peppers
- Green Chillies
- Ginger
- Karuvepelai (or "Curry" Leaves)
I think the Karuvepelai is the heart and soul of this dish. I cannot guarantee that your Avil Upma would be even half as good if you omit this leaf from culinary heaven. Considering all Indian stores stock this leaf, you really have no excuse, unless of course, you like eating junk.

2. Take some peanut oil in a pan, turn on the stove and add a pinch of
- Black Mustard Seeds
- White Lentils (Urad ki Dal)
- Split yellow lentils (Channe ki Dal)
- Dried Red Chillies (pieces)
- Cumin
Wait for the mustard seeds to sputter. Keep stirring. Don't let this seasoning char!! If you do char this, refrigerate the chopped veggies and throw the charred stuff away. You might need to consider going out to eat at this point because your kitchen might be filled with acrid charcoal-ridden smoke and might be a health hazard. What a waste of time, just because you didn't remember to stir for a couple minutes. Tsk Tsk.

3. Once the mustard just starts sputtering, add
- the chopped ginger, green chillies and Karuvepelai.
- Stir for around 20 seconds and then add
- a pinch of asafoetida (Hing in Hindi, Perungayam in Tamil)
- Green Beans
- Bell Peppers
- Salt
- Turmeric Powder
Stir some more. Sprinkle water over it and wait for the beans to get to a BRIGHT green colour. If the Beans turn yellowish green, you have let them cook too long!


4. Toss in the carrots. Stir a couple more minutes. I think its a different experience altogether to leave the vegetables crunchy and crispy. But I also know of people who like to punch and murder their veggies till they are smushed and have lost their form altogether. You need to pick sides NOW. Tick Tock.


4. You need thick/thin rice flakes for this step (Avil in Tamil, Poha in Hindi). You need to have sprinkled a generous amount of water on the rice flakes and set them aside to soften, earlier. If you didn't do it, it's too late now. You better turn off the stove and eat the veggies. If, on the other hand, you did sprinkle the rice flakes with water and have them moistened and soft - add them to the veggie mix now.

5. Stir for a couple minutes till everything reaches a nice high temperature. Add a little water, if necessary, to make it softer.

6. Turn off the stove. Squeeze half a lemon over the upma. Serve on a plate and garnish with chopped fresh coriander leaves.


7. A wonderful accompaniment to this light fluffy meal is a bunch of cherries washed in cold water.


8. And no summer meal is complete without some awesome Mango Tea with a touch of foamy milk. :)

What's an absolutely spellbinding story without a montage!??
Ready?? Cue the music >>>

::DOWNLOAD SOUND::

I just received an awesome mail in my inbox!



(E:boxerboi) successfully completed the Musselman Triathlon Challenge in 1:38:29!



The Triathlon Challenge started early in the day...


It was no walk in the park!!


Or even a casual dance by the disco!


It was a genuine time-bound sweat-drenched exhausting amphibious race!!


A arduous triple trek through the tunnel of exertion and grit!


But (e:boxerboi) completed it with flying colours!!

(E:boxerboi)!!!!!!

YOU ARE MY HERO!

I made some absolutely delicious lunch today because I didn't want to go overboard eating all the junk food at the Taste of Buffalo. It's the same principle as eating something before going grocery shopping. I seldom follow that principle, however. I find that I am more alert if I don't eat before going to the grocery and make better and faster food decisions.

I am calling this the Taste of Summer. It has two of my very favourite ingredients. No, wait. Make that three.
1. Mustard Greens
2. Garlic
3. Bulghur Wheat


It's an extremely quick recipe. Some of you might know how averse I am to using cooking oils other than my darling peanut oil but I made an exception and went with extra virgin olive oil today. The result blew me away. I am not a convert yet, but some of my insularity about cooking oils is slowly fading. Mind you, I still hate corn oil, canola, vegetable oil and the ilk. I especially loathe vegetable oil because I think it has a fishy unacceptable overtone. I am marginally okay with sesame oil if the dish calls for it. I am not saying that I would use oilive oil for regular cooking but I *might* consider it for light and offbeat cooking. Peanut oil still rules my cooking oil domain. If I had the misfortune to be stranded in an unknown nasty island, I would hunt for and take a bottle of Peanut oil with me when I am getting away from the wreck of the airplane. (Notice here, that I don't say "swimming away from the wreck of the boat". The reason being, I don't know how to swim.)

Here's how you concoct and distill the Taste of Summer.

1. Chop into very fine pieces
- Ginger
- Red Chillies
- Green Chillies (SUPER HOT!)
- Garlic
- Mustard Greens.
The key here is "very fine". You could make an exception for the Mustard Greens and go with just "coarse-fine".

2. Take Extra Virgin Olive oil in a sauteing pan
- Add a pinch of ground black pepper
- Add a pinch of semi-ground cumin
You have to have some full pieces of cumin here and some amount of cumin powder. It's a flavour balancing trick.

3. When the cumin begins to pop a bit
- Add the ginger, red chillies and garlic
Saute till the aroma of garlic wafts up and fills your kitchen. You may not want to wait that long if you live in the Buckingham Palace and your kitchen is the size of a warehouse.

4. Add Mustard greens and saute till the water comes out and the greens turn a very bright green.
This bright green can be precisely described as the green of the grass when the sun shines through and you wonder how it might be like to walk on it without any shoes on.

5. Add cooked Bulghur wheat (I would say in a 3 greens:1 wheat ratio) Don't add too much. The mustard greens, though very pungent, cannot beat the sheer carbohydraty-heaviness of Bulghur, so you might need a little moderation here. Favour the mustard greens, not the Bulghur.

6. Add cooked orange lentils (Around 3 tablespoons - not too much).
Same rule as above. Too much ruins the taste of mustard greens. And yes, I am not one of those people who primly list all the ingredients up front. I am assuming that you didn't start cooking the minute you started reading this journal and then found, when you hit step 6, that you didn't have any orange lentils to begin with. Deal with it.

7. Stir well. Turn off heat. If you don't, a kitchen fire will follow. Though it might well be in the spirit of summer with the heat and all, it won't quite match "The Taste of Summer". You get the idea.

8. To elevate the summer theme, garnish with a handful of HOT GREEN CHILLIES.

9. Enjoy with Lemonade. (You know the recipe for this, don't you?) What are you doing reading this recipe if you don't know how to squeeze a lemon into some cold water and add some honey, rock-salt and black pepper flakes to it?

10. Wish fervently that this summer goes by very very very slowly and winter forgets to visit Buffalo this year.

Or so I think.

Since I have a deadline, quite naturally, I have been afflicted by the ODES ((e:tinypliny,38711)) and I am off gallivanting to distant realms of the www. I chanced upon Chow Chocolat's myspace page. It lists the store as a 25 year old female in Buffalo, NY. I wonder if that is the demographic of clientele they hope to attract or just how young they feel... Anyway, their page has an intriguing little song called "Berlin" by a band called "Casperous Vine". It also has a to the band.

I couldn't help following it and the revelation of the evening is that its Johnny Depp's band! According to the page, Johnny Depp a.k.a Paul Christopher Kozlowski plays the Bayan, the Accordion, several types of Guitar (including Classical, Electric, Nylon), the oud, the fretless bass, vibraphone, jew harp, jaymar, porpoise, the trither, anu, marimba, glocks, vox, didj, scrap metal, keyboard/synthesizer, mandolin, percussion, flute, cello, violin and also an exotic and colourful looking self-assembled instrument called the Gilgamesh! Casperous Vine has released a CD compilation that is reviewed here. Their music is described as avante garde progressive electro-acoustic world-fusion! Kozlowski also plays in another rather interesting band called the Terrible Elephant. Give a listen to the song called "roompa" on this and you'll know what I mean.



Is there a limit to this man's seemingly endless and fascinating qualities?!

- Passionate Cook
- Founder of an innovative band (and probably plays in two more).
- Composer of exotic music
- Can build musical instruments from Scratch.
- Plays several musical instruments
- Works at Chow Chocolat
- Looks heartbreakingly like Johnny Depp!
- Has a very charming smile and is extremely down-to-earth.
- Shook hands with Hillary Clinton

While I was google-stalking this captivating personality, I found (e:Jim)'s Flickr stream! Yep. Just like that Bacon bloke is six degrees away from everyone on the planet, I am convinced that (e:Jim) is just a google-stalk away from everyone! (e:Jim) and (e:James) are virtual friends with another Flickr photo-enthusiast called Planet Tyler whose Summer '07 muse was none other than Johnny Depp Kozlowski!


Buffalo is an incredibly personal city. :)

_________
PS: Readers having trouble placing this post in context should refer to this post about Chow Chocolat: (e:tinypliny,44289)