Alright, I have gotten two texts giving me Merry Christmas messages in the last two days, from people whose numbers are not in my phone.

The first one said "Merry Christmas, fools" and had a photo attached to it of Jesus saying "I <3 Cock" which wasn't at all impressive. Clearly it was a mass text to everyone in their phone book. I wish they would take me out of their phone. I mean they don't call me anyway, otherwise I would know their number.

The second text I got just a moment ago, and it was in the phrase of a question, so clearly it wasn't a mass text. The person asked me how my Christmas was - "<3 _lulu_ <3" - now, I don't know anyone called Lulu, so to me it is obvious this one is a wrong number. But what do you do? You don't want to be rude and not answer.

So I answered - just sent a text back saying that I didn't know their number, but Christmas was fine, and that I hoped theirs was great too. I didn't answer the first one - but it really does bother me when I don't know the number of the person. I absolutely MUST know who sent me this crap.

Anyone else suffering through this? Man. I just want to go home and go to sleep today.

I just found out the BBC removed a posting I had made about the Chelsea/Aston Villa match. Some fool said how Chelsea basically had the ref working on their side. I wrote:

"Clearly the ref was biased towards the Chels, which explains allowing the penalty to be awarded for the tying goal. yawn"

Apparently, that comprises "Break the law, or condone or encourage unlawful activity. This includes defamation and contempt of court." No, really I broke the unspoken rule of being an American.

You know what? I don't even want to listen to your nightly financial news programming anymore, BBC, or watch Little Britain.

It is definitely the most tedious, annoying, and soul-draining experience possible. You have to battle the most ignorant drivers in the world just to get to the mall, risk life and limb just to get a parking spot, sift through tons of stores that never have exactly what you want, and...oh yeah....wait in lines that average 50 people, with screaming, bratty kids that you want to silence with one of those compound bows from Dick's.

What do you end up with at the end? Some socks and an ass warmer for the Ice Bowl, but nothing for the people you actually wanted to shop for. Best Buy has dick for music DVDs, unless you're one of those people who listens strictly to distasteful, shitty music that I would ban in a New York minute (minus The Who's new documentary, and one or two other things). For fuck's sake!

I went to New World to alleviate the pain, trying to forget the racist and offensive "The Chosen Keyboard" sticker set I saw the last time I went. I took a photo on my cell phone, but really wanted to find the owner and squeeze his throat for allowing this in what I used to consider a great store. Yeah yeah, my keyboard won't work on Saturdays - HAHA, funny, you fucking schmucks. I guess Buffalo hipsters really do want to emulate the Euros.

Anyway, New World is the only store I know of that has a good variety of music DVDs, so I was willing to move on with life. When I got there, I found they don't have a DVD section anymore. They are all scattered among the various artists, so if you don't know exactly what you want and just want to browse the DVDs, you are shit out of luck. No DVD section, but they sure as shit made tons of room for action figures, repackaged gum and candy with various "clever" labels, and said racist sticker set. Needless to say I left empty handed. Who buys that shit?

The last refuge for a frazzled shopper is the Internet. Everything you want is at your fingertips, and you don't have to deal with any of the things I've already bitched about. You can be in your jammies, smoking a cig, drinking a beer, and have a much better experience, right? WROOOOONG. Oh no, you have a whole new set of hurdles and problems to deal with.

For example, what if your brother is a soccer fan? Well, you have damn few options if you want something along the lines of a book or DVD. This sums up the experience:

- Look on Amazon for Book (Book Not Available until July 2008?)
- Call various shops in the area (Book Not Available in the USA!!!)
- Look on Amazon.UK (Available, but shipping is 2x the price of book)
- Look on Amazon for DVD (Not Available)
- Go to Chelsea Megastore (They won't ship to the USA!!!)
- Go to USA Chelsea Megastore (Not Available)
- Look on multiple soccer shop sites (Not Available)
- Look on Amazon for another DVD (Not Available in USA, won't play on USA DVD players anyway)

This is the point when you just throw your hands in the air and give up. Now I know why Gift Cards were invented - if I had just did the thoughtless thing and gotten a Gift Card, I might have avoided all of the stress and blood pressure fluctuations. This is about me now, not you, jerks! Now imagine if I had a girlfriend - everything would only be multiplied. Shopping for women is more sweat-inducing than sex. I don't think I've ever worried more about anything than a girlfriend's reaction to a gift, especially if I tried really, really hard to get something she would like. I tend to want badly for her to love what I get. Thankfully, I avoid that drama this year.

When it's all over, and you just want to sit at home with a friend and decompress, and your phone is in a dead spot so you never get the phone call, you realize things just aren't going your way. I am so done with Christmas shopping. God help me if I have to go out and do it again this weekend. Someone will have to give me a tank and mask (pumping herb into my system), and a wheelchair.

It's one of those freaking days. God knows why. I could use something to calm the mind.

Josh is away again, and so what do I do tonight for entertainment? I think the Sabres are on. I could also go shopping for gifts. I'm looking for a good music DVD for my Dad. His tastes are not mainstream and so you cannot find most of what he wants in normal stores. Maybe I'll stop by New World and see what they have.

I don't really think I want anything material. Money is always good, and there are things I suppose I can use (a.k.a. need) but I don't really find myself wanting anything at all. The closest thing is some kind of speaker system where I can plug my iPod and listen at night. Tons of those are available. Even so, I don't really care if I get anything at all.

No, the things I want are intangibles that just aren't on the shelf.

Whatever. I'm rambling.

Now that I've enticed you with the Drudge-esque title, here's a link to the story of a Federal Lawsuit involving Ladies' Night. Some guy is suing because he alleges it is discriminatory to let chicks in for nothing and for their drinks to be practically free:



I have mixed feelings about this.

I don't buy the argument that Ladies' Night benefits guys in "other" ways - it sure as shit isn't a guarantee you are going to go home with a hottie. I hate the fact the bars are trying to disguise their greed. They want to sell drinks, not get guys laid, and who buys drinks? We do.

I also don't think that early bird specials or senior citizen coffee mornings are discriminatory. That's pretty cynical, and what are you going to do, go to Grampa and tell him to pony up the buck for his cup of joe? No, you're not, unless you are the biggest asshole ever.

What motivates a straight man to go to a club? I do think it is mostly to see girls, although nobody is expecting to take one home. That only happens for a small percentage of guys who look and act the part of the cheeseball greaser. Most guys just gawk, although the cheap drinks for the girls will impair their judgment enough to maybe tip the scales in our favor.

MY SOLUTION - Keep Ladies' Night, but force clubs to hand back the entrance fee for guys who don't end up bringing one of the ladies home. You'll still get soaked for drinks, but at least you'll be able to receive your "benefit" both ways. It's less discriminatory, no?