(WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE)

You know what I really don't love? Being without a refrigerator for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Having to attempt to use a dorm fridge to live out of, which is ridiculous and maddening. I don't want to pay my fucking rent right now.

I mean, I've tried to be nice, to deal with them honestly, I mean the fucking thing is broken and it is their responsibility to fix it or replace it, just as it's my responsibility to pay the rent. Can you imagine the shouting that would occur if I were to lie and say, well, I just can't afford to pay the rent so I'll just give you $500 a month until you bother the living shit out of me to get the rest?

No, when it is time to pay the rent, and if you don't, if you hold it, they are up your fucking ass, and then say, well, we'll have to do something about that fridge. By the way, did I mention that I have no confidence at all that anything is going to get done with it? I'm just going to get strung along again and again and again, because motherfuckers are too greedy and/or lazy to get the god damned job done and do the right thing.

Oh no, now is no longer the time to be cordial and nice, and politely request that they do what they are fucking supposed to do. I am so beyond my limit that I am bound to do or say something so venemous and nasty that it will fracture my relationship with them.

So, it is time to calm down. I've been as polite as I can be, and I can only be strung along and ignored for so long (which is, by the way, a lot longer than most people). Now is the time to just go get a new fridge and deduct it from the rent. Fuck it. I can't wait to savor the indignation that will inevitably come my way.

YOU try living like a fucking stray animal for months and see how YOU like it, asshole!!!

Well, we were at the VERY FREAKING TOP of the stadium, in the corner, but it was still the best sporting event I have ever attended. It was just such an awesome experience, completely different and new to me. I'm so happy I was able to share that experience with Josh and Dad, as well as my buddy Brandon - all of whom I know had as much fun as I did.

It was just so cool. We weren't even all that drunk. Some Long Trail beer and some rum did the trick. It was a great atmosphere. The fans were all singing and shouting and having a good time. I hope (e:mrmike) didn't have to kick too much ass. Plenty of kids were there with their parents. The Pittsburgh fans were agreeable, and even gave us cups to put our rum and cokes in for the walk up to the turnstiles.

The weather wasn't all that severe. The snow flakes were enormous, and were easily brushed off, but the cumulative effect was that you were wet - which made me thank Dad for those hand warmers. It was as comfortable as it could have ever been. An article I read said that the stadium was like a big snow globe. Definitely. It was GREAT!

Can you see the game from the top of the stadium? Yeah.

Were the Black Hawks loud? That's an affirmative. Loud as all hell.

How much were those sweet retro Sabres sweaters? $175.

And....holy shizz..... Let me tell you, I wanted one SO BADLY. But I didn't pull the trigger. Damn, just when you think the attachment to material goods is gone, it comes right back atcha.

Alright, I have gotten two texts giving me Merry Christmas messages in the last two days, from people whose numbers are not in my phone.

The first one said "Merry Christmas, fools" and had a photo attached to it of Jesus saying "I <3 Cock" which wasn't at all impressive. Clearly it was a mass text to everyone in their phone book. I wish they would take me out of their phone. I mean they don't call me anyway, otherwise I would know their number.

The second text I got just a moment ago, and it was in the phrase of a question, so clearly it wasn't a mass text. The person asked me how my Christmas was - "<3 _lulu_ <3" - now, I don't know anyone called Lulu, so to me it is obvious this one is a wrong number. But what do you do? You don't want to be rude and not answer.

So I answered - just sent a text back saying that I didn't know their number, but Christmas was fine, and that I hoped theirs was great too. I didn't answer the first one - but it really does bother me when I don't know the number of the person. I absolutely MUST know who sent me this crap.

Anyone else suffering through this? Man. I just want to go home and go to sleep today.

I just found out the BBC removed a posting I had made about the Chelsea/Aston Villa match. Some fool said how Chelsea basically had the ref working on their side. I wrote:

"Clearly the ref was biased towards the Chels, which explains allowing the penalty to be awarded for the tying goal. yawn"

Apparently, that comprises "Break the law, or condone or encourage unlawful activity. This includes defamation and contempt of court." No, really I broke the unspoken rule of being an American.

You know what? I don't even want to listen to your nightly financial news programming anymore, BBC, or watch Little Britain.

It is definitely the most tedious, annoying, and soul-draining experience possible. You have to battle the most ignorant drivers in the world just to get to the mall, risk life and limb just to get a parking spot, sift through tons of stores that never have exactly what you want, and...oh yeah....wait in lines that average 50 people, with screaming, bratty kids that you want to silence with one of those compound bows from Dick's.

What do you end up with at the end? Some socks and an ass warmer for the Ice Bowl, but nothing for the people you actually wanted to shop for. Best Buy has dick for music DVDs, unless you're one of those people who listens strictly to distasteful, shitty music that I would ban in a New York minute (minus The Who's new documentary, and one or two other things). For fuck's sake!

I went to New World to alleviate the pain, trying to forget the racist and offensive "The Chosen Keyboard" sticker set I saw the last time I went. I took a photo on my cell phone, but really wanted to find the owner and squeeze his throat for allowing this in what I used to consider a great store. Yeah yeah, my keyboard won't work on Saturdays - HAHA, funny, you fucking schmucks. I guess Buffalo hipsters really do want to emulate the Euros.

Anyway, New World is the only store I know of that has a good variety of music DVDs, so I was willing to move on with life. When I got there, I found they don't have a DVD section anymore. They are all scattered among the various artists, so if you don't know exactly what you want and just want to browse the DVDs, you are shit out of luck. No DVD section, but they sure as shit made tons of room for action figures, repackaged gum and candy with various "clever" labels, and said racist sticker set. Needless to say I left empty handed. Who buys that shit?

The last refuge for a frazzled shopper is the Internet. Everything you want is at your fingertips, and you don't have to deal with any of the things I've already bitched about. You can be in your jammies, smoking a cig, drinking a beer, and have a much better experience, right? WROOOOONG. Oh no, you have a whole new set of hurdles and problems to deal with.

For example, what if your brother is a soccer fan? Well, you have damn few options if you want something along the lines of a book or DVD. This sums up the experience:

- Look on Amazon for Book (Book Not Available until July 2008?)
- Call various shops in the area (Book Not Available in the USA!!!)
- Look on Amazon.UK (Available, but shipping is 2x the price of book)
- Look on Amazon for DVD (Not Available)
- Go to Chelsea Megastore (They won't ship to the USA!!!)
- Go to USA Chelsea Megastore (Not Available)
- Look on multiple soccer shop sites (Not Available)
- Look on Amazon for another DVD (Not Available in USA, won't play on USA DVD players anyway)

This is the point when you just throw your hands in the air and give up. Now I know why Gift Cards were invented - if I had just did the thoughtless thing and gotten a Gift Card, I might have avoided all of the stress and blood pressure fluctuations. This is about me now, not you, jerks! Now imagine if I had a girlfriend - everything would only be multiplied. Shopping for women is more sweat-inducing than sex. I don't think I've ever worried more about anything than a girlfriend's reaction to a gift, especially if I tried really, really hard to get something she would like. I tend to want badly for her to love what I get. Thankfully, I avoid that drama this year.

When it's all over, and you just want to sit at home with a friend and decompress, and your phone is in a dead spot so you never get the phone call, you realize things just aren't going your way. I am so done with Christmas shopping. God help me if I have to go out and do it again this weekend. Someone will have to give me a tank and mask (pumping herb into my system), and a wheelchair.