Was tired and not feeling all that well Saturday, so I didn't think to call her. We were supposed to hang out. I spent yesterday wondering what to say or how to say it, basically I blew it and blew it worse by freezing up and not saying anything instead of telling her something to the effect of "Well can we hang out tomorrow? I am really tired and not feeling well."

Now she thinks something is up. I am such an idiot.

Gratitude is the foundation.

It's still the best policy when it comes to women. If there is one thing you can almost always bet on, it's that she has some people on the back burner just in case you fuck up. I have to admit that I am very, very uncomfortable with this, almost to the point where I would rather not bother.

No, nothing is "wrong" per se, so don't worry about me folks. I just don't like the idea of a back burner. Before I even bother to commit emotionally to someone I have to know that I'm the only one. When I date I am a one woman kind of guy. I suppose I should get some interesting backups lined up in case I get kicked to the curb for someone more preferable.

I don't even know why I feel this way.

Well, I hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday. It looks like the NYE PMT Party was a smash hit, and that everyone had a blast. Good! Now, I have noticed a trend of me not being at a PMT party, and someday I will have to rectify that shit, but this time I had a good excuse: I am now off the market for the time being, and I had to go out with the girlfriend. Yes I said it, and it is kind of weird because I haven't had a girlfriend since 2002.

I know I said I would talk about my private life less, but that day is not today. The convo went something like this:

Her: So, I'm just a drinking buddy with benefits, huh?
Me: (Laughing) No no no, not true, not true.
Her: Good, because I was going to cut my losses if that were true.
Me: (Laughing, Nervously) What, you thought I didn't like you?
Her: (Looking Sheepish) Well, I don't know.....
Me: Yes, I think you're great, and I do want to be with you but I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time so I'm nervous.
Her: You don't have to be nervous.
Me: Well, good, because I've been calling you my girlfriend for two weeks now already.
Her: Now you can get laid pretty much whenever you want.
Me: COOL!

So I ended up meeting some of her friends out for New Year's, going to Faherty's, then Goodbar (where my friends where) and then back to her place. All in all a good evening, but I'm sure the e-peep party was fantastic as well.

An aside: I just can't believe that shit (e:Lilho) wrote about her friend and her ex. Brutal! That is an absolute No-No among guys, you do not even deal with your friend's ex, let alone start fucking them. And what's that shit about the loose pussy and big black cock? If he had any bollocks he should have gotten them kicked in for that little comment. Even for someone of my class (low), I think that is absolutely shocking. Darling you are far better off without them.

I find myself blogging in more than one place recently, and there are many reasons why.

For example - when talking about the girl I'm seeing, I would prefer to use this site primarily because she has no clue about it, but also because I know I can talk freely about how I feel about the situation with no backlash whatsoever. In fact, I would prefer talking about all serious subjects here, with you guys. An added bonus is that I get many interesting and thoughtful responses which help me a great deal.

Another example - when talking about sports, I would prefer to use MySpace because I know I will get feedback, which might not be true here. It's a case of my audiences having different interests, which is fantastic, but not so conducive to blogging in one place I suppose. Peter is always good for a response, as he has wildly varying interests, everything from nasty porn to my North American Union rant, but I don't expect everyone to be as interested in so many things like him.

Celebrity Justice, as well as many other elements of popular culture, are more or less appropriate anywhere.

Now we can bring up a very interesting question. Why do you blog? An entire entry could be dedicated to this, but the basic thought is that we want to be heard, and we want to connect with other people. A blog is no good if you don't have someone to respond to it.

Sometimes, God puts ideas in your head, a little nudge in the right direction.

I am growing very weary of using more than one blog, and yet I cherish my beloved fan base. It is time to reconcile these things. I have been inspired to create my own blog, and to talk about my personal life far less. I want more control, and I also want to do it as an exercise in programming. Still some questions remain, the most important one being how I can still connect with all of you, and many more who do not use e-strip, while controlling where and how my thoughts are presented. I do not ever intend on abandoning this blog, and so I think Paul's API is going to be very valuable.

There is no need to become a citizen-journalist. Journalists are too self-important, worrying more about getting a Pulitzer than giving people the real skinny. Being an informed citizen is good enough for me. What I want to do is share my ideas with the world, and to have my own personal stamp on it.