I had just finished telling someone how much I hate when people don't put on their left turn signal until they're already in the intersection and they have to stop and wait for traffic. Why would you do that? Why even bother? I know that you're trying to turn, because you are stopped in the middle of the intersection and I am right behind you. I would not be right behind you if you had used your turn signal properly. It is much worse when the left-hand turn they are making is illegal [Delaware Ave Southbound during rush hour, most intersections].

Just then, I got a text message:

10/04/06 07:58 pm
From: 36245
guest@estrip.org
()thats so stupid

So I said ()amen brother amen even my phone agrees

- Z

I admit it. It's true. It's tough to be humble when you're this God-damned brilliant.

Next time you get a parking ticket -

chill out. It's not a stupid waste of your time and money - it's a $32 permit to park anywhere you want within the city limits. Pay the ticket online. There will be a $2 surcharge, but think of it as an investment. When you pay online, you get to keep the ticket and the obnoxious orange envelope, which you can then stick under your own windshield the next time you park illegally, thus saving Buffalo's Finest the trouble.

You're welcome. And, as with any free legal advice, don't try this at home.

- Z

I had an idea that ended up morphing into what can only be described as The Stoner Channel. It is a high-concept TV channel that is not for stoners per se, but rather for anyone who has totally given up any pretense of looking for entertainment and instead would be satisfied with only stimulation.

I got an AIM from (e:dragonlady7) one day while I was at work; she had taken some heinous cold medicine and it was getting on top of her. I directed her to a couple episodes of Krentz and the Hand of Shame and another one called Ptikobj . Her response was something like, "That shit is freeky."

When I was at college, I was awakened very early one Saturday morning when I heard my roommates laughing their asses off downstairs. I came downstairs, still half asleep, and, well- this was the first time I had actually seen an episode of Teletubbies. Technically we were all stone cold sober, but at 7am that shit is way freeky.

Also on the list:

The Turkish Star Wars (e:zobar,108)
Pink Panther cartoons
Fantasia
Hatten Är Din
Teen Girl Squad

It would end up being heavy on cartoons, so it would really cater to anyone whose attention span is shot [cf: children]. With a complete story arc [if you could call it that] expressed in under five minutes, and a new disconnected thought every 45 seconds, it's just not about thinking. Except when we take a whole afternoon to bring you: curling tournaments!

We would strive to keep overt drug references to a minimum. Cheech & Chong is out. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is in, but only because it is an extremely well-made movie from an extremely well-made book, and also, that shit is freeky.

OK, I gotta get back to work. My project is going pretty well, so mos def we'll be at the housewarming party.

- Z

I have not posted in a while, because I have sequestered myself in the attic until I finish writing a new backend for our calendar database. This may strike you as a weird thing to do, but the attic is comfortable this time of year, quiet, and relatively clean. I have weird mannerisms when I am deep in thought, and when I am in the attic nobody says anything when I pace around the room, pulling my hair and chewing my beard. I have put in fifty hours this week [well, starting Friday after work] and I am thrilled to be able to concentrate so completely. I am making excellent progress. I have assured both Management and (e:dragonlady7) that the overtime will become a vacation in the not too distant future.

I have also promised Management that I will return Monday with my shield or upon it; this does not bode well for my attendance at the housewarming party. The question is not whether I will be there -- I will -- but when.

- Z

is founded on an interesting idea: without Judas, there'd be no betrayal, no passion and death, and no resurrection, and without that - there's not a whole lot of Christianity either. (WIKIPEDIA - Gospel of Judas) Don't think about it too much, it'll blow your mind.

The point being, I've become a bit of a closeted Bob Dylan fan lately, so I went out and bought the 'official' Royal Albert Hall concert recording (WIKIPEDIA - The Bootleg Series Vol. 4: Bob Dylan Live 1966, The "Royal Albert Hall" Concert). A watershed moment in rock music, &c., &c., of course, and I never realized that Bob Dylan could rock this hard. But if my man over here had not shouted "Judas!" at precisely the moment he did - symbolizing whatever it was he was symbolizing - and had he not been caught on tape - would anybody care about Bob Dylan's 1966 world tour?

Eh, don't worry about it. This is the most genuinely spiteful and venomous recording I have ever heard and I cannot stop listening to it.

Speaking of spite and venom, I have been feeling curmudgeonly lately. Why, just this evening I saw some lacrosse mom park her exceedingly large passenger vehicle in front of a fire hydrant on my street. Well technically she was endangering the lives of residents and a grandstand full of kids, but sometimes you gotta rephrase things in terms people actually care about. So I left a polite little note:

Deep thought of the day:
If I fire-bombed your car,
they would have to tow it
before they put it out.
Have a nice day.

OK, so I don't know what is involved in fire-bombing a car, but the point is that the school year is young and I want to discourage bad behavior in the pups before it becomes habitual. Also, I was amused by the imagery of a flaming car getting towed down the street so that they can get to the fire hydrant to put it out. I am an asshole, but I swear I use my powers for good and not for evil.

- Z

_______________
New journal music: Bob Dylan, "Like a Rolling Stone," from the "Royal Albert Hall" concert. Play it fucking loud.