It has recently come to my attention (e:zobar,37) that some people have formed the opinion that I am what is referred to as a "Jersey hater." [How's that for passive voice?] I categorically deny all allegations.

I used to live in Jersey City, NJ (MAP TO: 227 GARFIELD AVE) in a neighborhood not too dissimilar from, say, Fillmore Ave. Let us call it a neighborhood in decline, and leave it at that. My first night out I was both solicited by prostitutes and stopped by the Bayonne Police for looking like a suspected felon. Other tenants in my building did, indeed, drink 40s on the porch, though I believe their preferred libation was Colt 45 (WIKIPEDIA - Colt 45 (malt liquor)).

And I did not like Jersey, per se. When describing Jersey City, I have been known to use the word 'sucky.' And when I crossed the Newark Bay Bridge for the last time I believe that I may have rolled down my window and shouted 'God's mercy on you swine!' to, well ... let's face it, the entire state.

I was young and foolish then, and I accept full responsibility for my youthful indiscretion. I did not understand the full gravitas of the word 'sucky.' But I did learn, when I moved to Westchester County, NY.

When describing Westchester I have used the words 'suckier than Jersey,' and I still hold this to be true. When I crossed the Tappan Zee for the last time I believe my words were 'May God have no mercy on you swine,' and continued with the invective until well after I had passed Middletown, NY. It's not so much that Westchester is any suckier than Jersey, but that Westchester doesn't understand why it's sucky, or even that it is sucky. Jersey, on the other hand, is what it is. No illusions, no pretensions, just Jersey. And for that I commend Jersey. [I also commend Jersey for both the Colonette and the Miss America - two excellent diners who understand the Tao of Reuben. But I digress.]

I save my most spiteful invective, though, for Bergen County, NJ; my 'Bergen County Suburb Name Generator' can speak for itself.

- Z

The weather was gorgeous, so here's a couple unrelated tidbits for anyone else who's coming off their seasonal funk disorder:

Got the scooter out and hit the strip. Enjoying the weather, watching people, and just generally driving like your grandmother [which is highly underrated].

There's some good news on the horizon regarding (e:dragonlady7) 's writing career [not to mention my own eating career] - stay tuned for more as things become official.

Finally got an excuse to put the greatest song in the universe on the corporate website :

I understand that you want to talk to me
but Verizon Wireless is dogging me.
Don't you know that weekends and nights are free?
So if it ain't one of those, don't holler at me.

The whole album ('Things Go Better With RJ and Al') is excellent both musically and lyrically, and I kind of want to put the whole thing up on Gather ... but that may be a little excessive.

New journal music: 'Music to Watch Girls By,' by the James Taylor Quartet [no, the other James Taylor] from the excellent 'Lounge-A-Palooza' compilation. Good spring music. Good summer music. Good seasonally-induced-euphoria music.

I think I'm going to go to the beer store now, pick up a 40bo of Labatt, sit on the front porch and kick it Jersey City style. [Yes, I'm a North Buffalo boy, but you've got to understand - this is Kenmore and my neighbor is this rotten shrivelled up old hag. It doesn't take much.]

- Z

So at about 4.45pm I got an email that there would be a companywide meeting tomorrow at 10am regarding our annual popularity contest.

At 4.50pm I got a frantic phone call from the same person asking if the final results were ready yet.

Well, no, considering there was still a small stack of outstanding paper ballots ... and then an actual human has to look them all over and merge the misspellings. [How many ways can you spell, eg, (e:strip)? Let's see: estrip, (e:strip), ((e:strip)), estrip.org, elmwoodstrip.org, elmwoodstrip.com, Elmwood Strip, and these are just legitimate spellings. If I had a dime for every ballot that said 'Niagra,' I would have several dimes.] Then multiply the confusion and incompetence by 150 awards and again by 1500 ballots.

So I said as far as I knew the raw tally wasn't even ready yet. At this point another individual said we need to know who won so we can sell ads to the winners, and we've only got a week to do it. And I said it doesn't change the fact it's not done. And she said, but we only have a week. And I said, it's still not done. What do you want me to do by 10am tomorrow? I am, after all, just the computer geek.

So they said, split it up and we'll each take a section home and bring them in tomorrow. And I said great, but I've already got plans, I've got to do taxes for me and (e:dragonlady7) , and by the time I was done splitting up the tally it was 5.30pm and everyone had gone home anyway. So it beats the Hell out of me what we're going to be doing tomorrow morning. Staring at the walls and yelling at each other I would imagine.


In somewhat nicer news, this was the first year I have ever actually made money on my taxes. I racked up a nice $7400 tuition bill at the beginning of the year and only got a job halfway through the year, so not only do I have little to no taxable income, but I sneaked in just under the wire for the earned income credit as well. [The EIC is a tax credit intended for those living in crushing poverty; it is only available if you made less than $11,500 all year. Unlike other tax credits, if your tax comes up negative after subtracting the EIC, the government will actually give you money. Jeez, poor people have it so easy. Well, except for that whole trying-to-pay-rent-utilities-groceries-transportation-clothing-and-health-care -on-less-than-$960-per-month thing.]


- Z

SPONGE CANDY AND BLACK JELLYBEANS FOR BREAKFAST!!! BLACK COFFEE SWEETENED WITH MOLTEN DARK CHOCOLATE-RASPBERRY CREAMS!!! IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!!! IT'S EASTER!!! AND I'M HIGH AS A KITE ON SUGAR AND CAFFEINE!!!

I THINK I'M GOING TO GO HOP ON THE VESPA NOW!!! MAYBE PUSH IT AROUND THE BLOCK A COUPLE TIMES!!!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

- Z!!!

somebody'd mentioned being a Morphine fan, so here you go: 'Bo's Veranda,' from the Get Shorty soundtrack.

I'm going to try to keep my journal music instrumental, since I often find vocals distracting, and I think pop instrumentals are an underrated niche.

- Z