Bridget asks on her Livejournal : what do you think about as you're drifting to sleep?

When I go to bed I find myself inventing solutions to invented problems. But not normal problems, oh no. I once spent two weeks of naptime deciding my answer to the question:

If this mattress were a piece of bread in a toaster, and these sheets were slices of cheese, which kind of cheese would be most comfortable once it melted?

I finally decided on baby Swiss, but I'm starting to think that maybe Gruyère was a better choice.

- Z

I admit to being on a huge Stevie Wonder kick right now. For the last two days I have cranked the factory stereo on my Toyota subcompact and dialed my iPod into 'Signed, Sealed, Delivered' on the way to work and 'Superstition' on the way home. These are the only two Stevie Wonder songs that I own, and they are both excellent for their respective commutes.

Yesterday I was on the phone with Apple tech support. Apparently there are two different levels of service according to how much you paid for your maintenance contract. Initially I had called Proletarian Tech Support where they read to you from the back pages of the user's manual and there is no on-hold music; when they determined I was apparently made of money I was transferred to Bourgeois Tech Support where they really know their shit and the on-hold music is .. oh yeah .. 'Higher Ground.'

Which, oddly enough, put me in a much better humor when the technician told me I would have to back up my terabyte of data and reformat our video server. Because let me tell you, if he laid that on me after making me listen to James Taylor I woulda reached right through the telephone and strangled him.

- Z

We recently bought a couple new 4x2.5GHz G5 computers for our video department, with beefed-up nVIDIA GeForce 7800 GT graphics cards. The graphics card has 2 DVI ports; one of our video guys has 2 VGA monitors, necessitating two DVI-to-VGA adapters, conveniently supplied by Apple. Except the DVI ports are very close together on this particular card, and Apple's adapters have all this extra plastic shit around them so that they look kewtiez, so that they cannot fit together closely enough to plug into this expensive graphics card.

So the video guy - let's call him John, because that's his name - calls up Apple tech support, and explains his quandary. The tech support specialist, initially incredulous, finds a 7800GT and a couple adapters in 'the lab' and gets back on the phone.

'I see your problem,' he says. 'I think I may have a solution. Can you hold for just one more minute?'

'No problem,' says John. Then he hears the tech support specialist put the phone down, and off to the side he hears, 'Crack! Crack! CRACK!!'

Tech support gets back on the line. 'Yes, I have a solution. Um .. do you have a hammer?'

- Z

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ps. Be careful where you buy your next videophone.

The aforementioned two-bit NOC called us this morning to let us know that one of our two data lines is down. Which was very nice of them. What with the automatic failover and everything, I never would have noticed otherwise. So I said, yeah, fix it up, do what you gotta do.

So they took down our other T1.

I love these people in the way that I love Rudy Ruettiger.

- Z

I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus I hate Cyrus

If you had trouble connecting to (e:strip) midmorning today it was not my fault. I blame a certain two-bit NOC who shall remain nameless. Fortunately they seemed to have taken care of it before I got all up in they grill. Unfortunately when I rebooted our server it fucked Cyrus with a weedwhacker and I spent until 7pm picking up the pieces. If you are an IT manager and your boss says: we need IMAP, you may think: Cyrus! but it is my opinion that you should choose something else. Anyone have any experience with Courier?

- Z