Whoa, I can so identify with that right now, (e:Hodown,232). I swear2god I am working in a Dilbert cartoon. Thank god for my cohort Steve. Which reminds me, I think I know what the next niche market to exploit is: insider code phrases for surviving in the corporate world. Steve and I came up with a few today, and I really think it's going to make life bearable in the days to come. Basically, it's corporate-sounding terminology that we have secret meanings for. So far we've got:

Term: "Sanity-check"
Usage: "We better have a meeting to sanity-check our proposed approach to this portion of the project."
Real Meaning: "This freakin' project is driving me insane! We better get behind closed-doors to bitch about it before I go ballistic."

Term: "Full Debriefing"
Usage: "We're long overdue for a full debriefing. We'd better reserve the private conference room so we can bring each other up to speed."
Real Meaning: Ok, I know what you're thinking. "Full debriefing?" "Private conference room?" Let's just say if things keep going the way there going, we may have to escalate this particular terminology along those lines. But for now, all it means is, "I have some incredible gossip that requires complete privacy to impart in all it's sordid glory."

p.s. -- they are already talking about extending our contracts through June or possibly even July. I think the next term we're going to need is "offsite." I'm not sure if we can get away with it quite yet, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

If you're interested in my usersound, you'll have to listen to the latest coverville podcast for the backstory.

(Sorry (e:Leetee) and (e:Uncutsaniflush) -- it's not Jim Carroll. That was just a free association.)

So, the good news is, I have a new Steve in my life. And just in the nick of time! He's my compatriot at "work." So I finally have someone to roll my eyes at during meetings.

I really shouldn't go into it, but you know the emphasis is misplaced when you're told to "read the dress code" so you don't risk "getting a citation." That's all I'm going to say about it.

(somebody had to say it)

Faithful, sometimes fanatical Apple customers continue to push the boundaries of loyalty

A Silicon Valley fairy tale: Apple at 30 -- from upstart to Wall Street darling

The man behind the Mac

Apple has made a career out of thinking different -- and regularly charting new courses for the computer industry: Timeline

I'm already late for work, so I'm going to be lazy and round up some comments here.

Good luck with the job (e:Leetee,152)! I have a problem with lying too. Although sometimes I just present what is true in a positive way -- leaving it open to interpretation without actually saying whatever it is I'd rather not say. In your case, instead of choosing one of the supplied answers, I would make the notation "Attended high school in Canada -- now studying for U.S. equivalency degree" or something along those lines. If you didn't attend high school at all, just say "attended school" or "home schooled." Do you know how many kids in the US are home schooled these days? And you may very well have a better grasp of US history than most high school graduates, sad to say.

But the most empowering thing would be to get your GED. If it doesn't cost much, or it's free to retake the test, just take it and see how you do. Then you'll know what you have to study. And if you're really worried about US history, pick up Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States." I'm sorry I didn't keep my copy from Howie's class at BU, but I'll bet the Larson brothers have a copy lying around. Maybe you can borrow it. ;-)

Speaking of the Larson boys, I'm really sorry I missed seeing (e:Joshua,134)'s protesters and (e:Twisted,353)'s, counter-protesters in person -- especially since I walk by City Hall on a regular basis. So much for being a roving reporter. ;-)

I really and truly believe any counter-protest was relatively balanced against the protest, but no I didn't see it first-hand, so I can't say for sure. I have no doubt the "come back in the summer" comment was in good humor -- albeit a back-handed dig at a wasted day in SF.

If a bunch of people decide to publicly protest the traits we hold dear about the Bay Area, you can bet your bottom dollar San Franciscans will show up to defend our way of life. Which includes being free to embrace and express your sexuality.

As tempting as it might have been to align myself with the "I moved here to get away from people like you" counter-protester, I have to hold out hope these kids still have some growing up to do, and might still benefit from other role models. In the end, I think my sign would say, "I like San Francisco just the way it is. Why don't you check it out before judging?"

Damn. That's going to be a big sign.

p.s. -- I am so late now. I will probably edit this when I get home. WHY can't I get a job blogging?

Ok, I am so over this working thing. It was fun for a few days, but being held hostage behind the Berlin Wall of firewalls 8 hours a day is getting on my nerves. Plus, I got a High Priority request from one of my Premium Support users yesterday, (ok, it was my sister calling to tell me I missed one of the kids in the upcoming birthday countdown on the family web site), so naturally I had to drop everything to fix that. Spent about 10 minutes trying to poke a hole/get around the firewall to no avail. So I got the password for the "open" computer where you can allegedly check webmail and other potentially subversive tasks under the watchful eyes of the admins. I was there for about five seconds when I was reminded to use it "judiciously" or the question "why does a contractor need to use it" might arise. Because you have me in a freakin' straitjacket, that's why! This would take less than 5 minutes and I would be happy to punch out for the 15 minute minimum time-tracking increment just so nobody thinks I'm pulling a fast one. I mean, come on!

Not that it would be anybody's business how I might use my two 10-minute breaks required by California law, but it would be just my luck the "question" would be asked right in the middle of adding all FIVE birthdays for May. (Does my whole freakin' family go fertile in September?) So I decided I would spend that 10-minute break sulking in my cubicle instead. I know, I'm so mature.

And what important milestone on the critical path would I be impeding, you might ask? Printing out the company web site. That's what they have me doing this week. Oh yes, they got me my very own printer to accomplish this important task, and you can imagine my excitement when the project was escalated from "stapled sections" to "3-ring binder with dividers" at the weekly status meeting. If I had an ego, this would be demoralizing. But if they want to pay me an unseemly amount of money to print out their web site, I have no problem with that.

I wish I could tell you some of the Dilbert-esque stories about this place, but this one photo kind of captures it all for me. The employee handbook explicitly states you can only use the provided paper cups for hot beverages. No personal mugs or travel containers allowed. And you must have the company-issued lid tightly adhered in transit. But under no circumstances should you transport a hot beverage -- lidded or not -- between floors.



I don't think I've used one of these since kindergarten (before the invention of the juice box). I didn't even know they came with lids. It would take approximately 28 of these to make one Starbucks "venti" or whatever the hell they call a large.

Speaking of work, good luck with the job application (e:Leetee,153)! Oh, and for the citizenship question you might want to make a notation that you've got your Permanent Resident (green) card. In other words, have a comeback ready for any potential strike against you. (I don't mean to say that would be a strike against you, but you seemed to be concerned about it. And I'm big on notations, haha.)

Ok, that's all for now, except a few random pix off the cell phone.


Farmers' market at City Hall. No sign of protesters last Sunday.


I just thought this was funny. SF is such a live and let live town.