omg I am tired. Tried to go to bed around 5:30am- but found myself unable to sleep--the clock was ticking off minutes closer to 6:30 when i finally dozed off. Got up at 9:45am and cleaned myself up and then tackled the mess. I should have taken a post-party picture!


I was well humored last night- thanks (e:enknot) !

From what I recall, I did a lot of running..

• Running to people I havent seen in awhile and away from others (just being silly)

• Running to my room a few times- for good conversation, for research (I couldn't refrain myself) and for fresh air--cigarettes are gross. I know it wasnt any of you peeps who were smoking, hmmmm? I know you all read the stories from doctor jenks. Dont smoke- you don't want your jaw chopped off! (love the gross-cool stories, btw)

Great catching up on everything, (e:ladycroft) ! Lots of laughs and the fun that I am used to having- ha!

• Running up and down all of the stairs in the Mansion to find the source of burning plastic smell. Wasnt sure if I was imagining things- so I kept at it until it was figured out-- with help of (e:paul) . I would hate to have had found a fire!-- would have really hated to have had to call the Buffalo Fire Department..MMmmmmm yummy.. ;)

• Running (ok, jogging, skipping, walking) to NY Pizza. It suddenly seemed like a good idea. Boo to being carded at Frizzies. I knew I should have grabbed my ID. Pink was too far away after a drunken run/walk/skip/jog in the cold for pizza. At the Pink you never (rarely) need your card-- you just need to look atleast 12.

btw, shopping carts do not make for successful transportation.

• Running away from the papparazzi Peterazzi --hehe! You do a great job of getting pics of the parties from beginning to end- I just cringe when i see the ones of me! :) I forgot about the banner- so cool that you got a picture of that!! You need your own special party picture blog called The Peterazzi ;)

• Running in front of/jumping into pictures for the Peterazzi. Say what?!?! --when you are buzzed nothing you do needs to actually make any sense..

It had been a long while since I had a drink- or more than one. My grand total was a measly 4 drinks over the course of 5 hours- but it got the job done. Cappuchino with a splash of rum, a can of Sparks that (e:ladycroft) shared with me, and two other rum/coke drinks. Wonder what the coke to rum ratio was? I was thrilled to be feeling much better than what I had on Thursday night/Friday. It never went past being super tired/dizzy-which was enough, but it could have turned into something more. Heck, after last night it just might. Better get back to those Airborne tablets pronto.


I did a tiny bit of Christmas shopping this afternoon. Then I came home to Youngstown and vegged infront of the tv to movie on HBO- "something the lord made" a a fact based drama about the pioneering of heart surgery.

synopsis (this movie moved me):
    

SOMETHING THE LORD MADE is a moving story of men who defy the rules and start a medical revolution. Their patients are known as the "blue babies" - infants suffering from a congenital heart defect that turns them blue as they slowly suffocate.

Alfred Blalock (Alan Rickman) and Vivien Thomas (Mos Def) make a brilliant team. But even as they race against time to save one particular baby, the two occupy different places in society. Blalock is the white, wealthy head of surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Thomas is black and poor, a skilled carpenter whose dream of going to college and becoming a doctor was ruined by the Great Depression, although he was naturally gifted with the intuition and dexterity of a great surgeon.

Even as they save lives and invent a whole new field of medicine, social pressures threaten to tear them apart. Ultimately, however, Thomas finds his dreams coming true in unexpected ways.

After that, I put a log on the fire and fell asleep for two hours. Very nice!

It was a nice weekend- in many many ways. I hate to see it over already...


Anyway, I am curious about other pictures that will eventually surface on here. I hope everyone is doing well. Again, Happy 30ish Birthday, birthday boy!

the wind is freaking me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you hear it??

I made sure to put all of my storm widnows down. I could see one curtain moving--and realized that the window wasnt latched so that didn't help. Now its good.

I made a curtain for my kitchen window. It has frogs on it.

I have some plastic to put up soon.. I don't trust my abilities in this task. I know something will get plastic on it, hopefully it makes it onto the windows and stays up.

Is it getting warmer out there? Is that why its crazy windy? yikes!

Last I looked it was a clear night-- lots of stars. and cold. brrrrrr

Oooh, I finished putting out Christmas decorations. It had been two years since I did anything Christmas decorating-wise. Before that, it was only on occasion. In the past, i have put up decorations only to take them down a day or so later!!-- not being fully satisfied with the results. I am much better at keeping it for the duration of the holiday. I have also chilled out a lot in the past 5 years. Now I feel a little too laid back at times. Anyway, i am glad I put the tree up and a few other decorations-- perhaps it will help put me in the mood. i should start shopping-- instead of waiting till Christmas weekend. I am just trying to do things different in every aspect this year...

I made myself stay in this evening as I, well, had nowhere to go. haha. Actually, still feeling icky (but not worse than yesterday) I left work an hour early to come home to crash. I was getting so crazy silly at work that I needed to leave. Well that and the dizziness. Not sure if it was the mega dosing of Airborne tablets or just the way I get sometimes when I am sick-- but I had this manic energy. heh, maybe I am entering into a manic stage-- that would be nice. I get soooo much accomplished!

So I didn't exactly crash when I came home-- but it was good to be home a little bit earlier than usual. I am laying low to make sure I don't get sick. I think by tomorrow I should be much better *hopes*

onto other news:
Freak-o Stalker guy callled me. I had just thought yesterday that I had not heard from him in what seemed like a long time. I check my answering machine today, and there was a non-message/hang up. So I check the caller ID. It was him. Thats his calling card-- the never leaving a message. guh! I don't answer and tell him to f*@# off because that will just encourage him--I know, I have tried...

thinking about bundling up and taking myself and my camera on an excursion tomorrow. Depends on how I feel. Might just have to be a lazy ass. or if I am crazy-silly manic, I need to take full advantage of that too :)

Time to take my night time Airborne and get some more sleep. I just read (e:libertad) 's post about having some tea--you must get the Yogi!!! Now I want a cup of that myself. Not sure if I should combine that with the AIrborne, though.

see ya later, peeps!

they are everywhere.. anyone not sick yet?

omg its cold out there!

I have a ton of garbage to take out to the road.

I don't want to!!

I think I am coming down with something. Everyone is sick. I have been delerious all day-- my eyes feel like they have been crying, my head is aching and I really just want to sleep-- but can't yet.

gotta get that garbage out. booooooo.

Been chugging Airborne all day. I think its expired.

I am seriously goofy on top of it all. I think that is what got me through the work day..

soooo tempted to call in for tomorrow-- but I wont. I would have to be feeling a whole lot shittier than I do..

all this might affect my partying ability.. not sure. Again, boo.


brrrrrrrrr need to warm up. The cold I can do-- but windy cold-- and feeling icky--not so much fun.

Ok, soup, tea, garbage, puttering, more tea, curl up in bed to a movie and/or play Sudoku, my current obsession.

Then dreams.

Nice..

My realization of the day: I think I need acrush- crushes are fun, and other distractions.

oh, and-- I want to be able to wear pig-tails to work. I miss that.
Stay warm peeps!

Not much has changed since yesterday- I still hate my schedule. So much I want to do and not enough time, balance or energy to pursue. So I know I have to work harder work smarter at getting things to be the way I want them. Thats me. I need to find better alignment-- and that will happen, with time and process. However, I need to make sure not too much time goes by-- it is easy to get comfortable and allow for things to pass by. With this schedule and constraints, I would hate for life to pass by. I am currently uncomfortable, because there is stong pyschological dissonance, and I am fighting the urge to give in- to accept what is and go with it. It would be easier, yes? But that isn't me. So I will continue to do a damn good job, build morale and do as much moving and shaking that I can do w/o being fired, but then once things are up and running and I have identified a successor, then I know, without a doubt, my job is done.

While I go through all of that, I plan my next move. I have a few avenues that I can take if I so desire. Due to my wacked schedule, time is essential. I visualize what I want-- and begin to make it happen. Ive been stuck for a few months--creativity stalled (see.. i was afraid of creative amputation through forced regimented thinking and regulation adherences)--but I have been trying to kick start the process again. Have been using brainstorming as a mental and creative warm up. I always encourage people to dream big-- then use the energy and identified goals to make it happen..

I had mentioned in my last post that my dreams would be my repreive. It may have been more true than I intended. As I dozed off last night, my residual thoughts formed a great idea, brilliant maybe*. Just something that I needed to get me energized. It was kind of eureka moment. One that I forced myself to wake up and go write it down for fear of forgetting. The remainder of the night was spent further formulating the logistics surounding the idea. My brain was busy thinking all of this through while I was alseep. It was active enough to where I felt tired all day. Or maybe I am catching a cold-- lots of germs and sickness these past few days.

Anyway, I kept thinking about it all day and I could feel the smile on my face at times- it definitely put a bounce in my step.

I feel closer to where I need to be than I have in awhile- all i needed was something to mentally grasp and work towards. Just need to lay out the details.. and bring it to fruition.

I need to go to bed early tonight. If it is germs-- then good sleep and a dose of Airborne is required.

btw, I had a haircut on Saturday. The last few haircuts I mentioned in here and it has since helped me to remember to go get trims- very helpful.

• I am vague about job and future endeavors for paranoid reasons,lol.

So I write mostly to get some residual crap off my mind.

I hate my work schedule.

that is all.

time for bed; dreams are my repreive tonight.