Somehow I think it's in my destiny to be a housewife. The one thing that brings me joy above just about anything else is a house full of people with happy tummies. Tonight we had an unexpected dinner party of sorts. Fried catfish ala matt(gluten-free of course), collard greens, zucchini with mushies garlic and parsley, steamed clams in butter-lemon sauce, and sweet taters fried in the same canola as the fish. Divine, and all the folks so happy, courtesy in large part to my efforts in the kitchen. I think about being a cook sometimes, but think that it's not quite the same. I like the kitchen ambience, the people talking, slicing the odd veggie, swapping the tales of yesternight, battering the fish, picking up the 40, and just making revelry: the kitchen should be the life of the house. Maybe that's why so many housewives have become so disaffected. When I think of the kitchen that nonna [inlink]paul,1412[/inlink] was brought up in and contrast it to the kitchen of most modern households I can see why no one wants to work there anymore. They're disinfected: of both germs and society. Isolated hubs of efficiency, and slow asphyxiation (is that really how you spell that?). Who whats to hang around there when everyone else is watching the tube?

I can't decide how to take it. Do I rebel in masculine fury over my slow emasculation? Should I feel less of myself that I don't want to be out there earning bread for the table (instead of baking said bread, I suppose)? Am I nearer the feminine me I want to be in touch with (or am I treading dangerously close to the nongender entity I dream about)? Do other people want to be more degendered, like me? Caught up in stereotypes with nowhere to turn. Bake a pie and you're covered. But really, if all I do is sit around and take care of those I love, do I even deserve to live? Is this really an occupation? Obviously not one without accompanying stigma attached. I want to get back into my routine though. I love to cook. I do it well. It makes me happy. Why do I doubt? So let's make some kinda chintzy vow now, to cook at least said number of times a week. But I'll try, I really will. And please, if you're in a position to wish me well along the way (especially if you wanna come partake: there's barely nuthin' makes me happier'n feedin' folks), please do. I happily descend past my gender threshold.

sidenote: As Matthew said, the triplets of belleville is something worth seeing, it's pretty nuts. In a good way. I was even sad when it ended so early. Gotta download that theme song now...

This here monkey (macaque type, she is) only walks upright now. Apparently she had a bad tummy ache and after she got better won't go down to all fours anymore . Don't she know her place? Get down animal, leave the walking to those who been doin it for a while. Stop yo usurpin! Do you think she's available though?

sidenote: US food companies are going to have to label their food for allergens starting 2006 . This is good for those of us who suffer from these horrible maladies of digestive uncooperativeness. The allergens that must be labelled are: milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, wheat, peanuts and soybeans.

India'a courts have ordered the government to release the remaining funds (over $330 million) to the victims of the Bhopal disaster . Of course the accident was more than 20 years ago, so it's a little late for those who have suffered for a score of years with the death of family, horrible diseases, and chronic ailments (and of course those who still happen to live in the environment which has never been adequately cleaned up). If this is news to you Democracy Now! has been covering this for years . On December 3, 1984 a pesticide plant in Bhopal India owned by Union Carbide (later acquired by Dow Chemical) leaked toxic methyl isocyanate gas into the surrounding atmosphere. Poison clouds from the Union Carbide factory enveloped an arc of over 20 square kilometers before the residents could run away from its deadly hold. Thousands of people died immediately and thousands more slowly died over the next months/years from inhaling the toxic fumes. To this day the entire region is suffering from chronic illness, birth defects, and contaminated water. Bhopal.net has a good site about the disaster and its history .

sidenote: from my hometown of Las Vegas, NV. Linda Ronstadt was booted out of a hotel after dedicating her encore to Michael Moore and Farenheit 9/11 . Apparently some ardent Bush supporters were so riled up that they stormed out and ripped down posters. Guess we're more red-necked than I thought back home.

and finally (though the cuteness factor is slowly declining with these dumb internet surveys) I am:

Oh shoot and galdarnit! The books are late! The way it works at the library with renewing is you get an additional 3 weeks from the date you renew. So, in order to get maximum lending time, you wait until the day the books are due before renewing. I missed it! It was yesterday, and now I am stuck with a 75 cent fine and I may not be able to renew the two books I haven't read yet, one of which I'm in the middle of. Now I must off to the library to finagle with a hopefully nice librarian to please let me keep the books (usually they make some attempt at chastisement but then do it on a "only this one time" basis). Gotta go. I'll tell you what I'm reading next time.

I've heard the song on Democracy Now! a lot and thought it was fun, but there's a whole little movie that goes along with it. Bovine Freedom!