There was a guy I once knew. He always started every story with those words. Can I go now. I thought you were going to tell a . . . well yeah, that's what I mean.

Fine. Go on.

After what seemed like three months of pure irrationality, he finally decided to let go and see what would happen.

But then, do you decide to let go? Not at all. It happens. Sort of like that last mushroom disappearing making your salad as plain as you are. I hear you. Please continue.

He let go. That's it. Why, no one really knows, except of course me. Of course. But you can figure it out.

He walked down the street as cars beeped feebly. He must have known that they wouldn't hit him, not that he cared. He came across one guy beating another. One was smaller and so he decided to assist.

What if the little guy deserved it?

The little guy never deserves it, shut up. So he took the big one down having God on his side.

We all have God on our side.

Shut the fuck up. So you know what happened? Why so silent good monsieur? He helped him out. The big guy lay still, half dead. The cops came, but he was gone already. A modern day Batman he was. But then.

Then?

Then.

Then?

Then he met up with a beggar who needed change. He screamed at him, said to leave him alone. ALONE he said. And he walked away.

So.

As he walked away he felt a warmth in his body and fell to his knees. The man had stabbed him.

The moral?

What's the moral? There's no fucking moral. I knew a guy who was stabbed. He got out easy s'what I say. We still have to endure. God chose him, or Buddha, or Zeus. Someone chose him.

Maybe he chose.

Can you please walk that a way? Yep that's it . . . thanks . . .

Be honest with me

- you sure

oh yes, please go on.

- you're one in a million

Oh god, you're sweet

-no, I mean, there has to be at least a million more out there exactly like you. And I mean exactly.

Uh . . .

-What's wrong?

Let's curb the honesty

- want to know what I was thinking while you climaxed?

please, no I . . .

- I was-

(SLAP, followed by grossly exagerated crying)

sorry, I was just being honest

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those, who at the time of great moral crisis, remain neutral.

All right, my turn.

Vote for Bush. This is why . . . quickly because I have to watch Kill Bill.

Nothing will change in this country unless it is hopeless. Until we have nothing, people will be complacent. If Bush gets re-elected, which is entirely plausible, things will happen. People will quote the D of I. They will read Marx. They will be more unhappy than they already are. The dust storm will come and those who did not need water before will ache to have something to quench their thirst.

Then a Woody Guthrie will come, or a new Dylan, or Zorro. But someone will make a stand and things will get bad in this country, which in turn, will cause things to change.

The Bastille needs to fall people.

I will vote for Kerry because I agree with Chris, but YOU should vote for Bush if you care about America. I'm just afraid of, and look forward to, what will happen if he gets back in. I want nothing to do with putting him there, but you should.

I thank you.

Okay Uma, I'm ready.

I thought everyone had a tank bra? What the hell?

Definitely get a tank bra. Make sure it supports your tank though. There is also the tank g-string and tank douche which is not the most comfortable thing but useful when you're camping.

I used the tank condom before, but it fell off. I would not suggest such a thing.