Curse you sun for not tanning me
I envy the burned even
This is what is has come to
How much do I need to give of myself
How many hours, between 1 and 4
I look below and there is no line of tan
No line of burnt skin
I hate you

You and I will have it out
This I swear

Come on moon
let's flog this asshole

That voice is fucked up.

Billy just shit himself, thanks.

First off, I agree with you my dear Rachel [inlink]rachel,102[/inlink], although I think you're a little wrong.

I don't call. But I do answer the phone out of guilt . . . so essentially the same thing. I understand. But I'm not saying that I'm not interested, in fact more often than not, we're still in negotiation. My point is, if I'm busy, I am busy. Don't question that. Because if you do question that, you'll find that I do have about an hour of free time a day in which I could possibly meet with said person. The question is, do I want to take that hour and give it someone who's sorta cool, at least as far as I know right now. Would you?

In my eyes, they have to be so goddamn intriguing that I am willing to take the consequences of putting off things to spend time instead, with this person. It happens every now and then, and then I play catch up, and it's fine. But when it's consistent, it gets old very quickly, please tell me if you have not been there.

What I don't need is to hear, "Well okay, I guess you don't want hang out with me, even though I'll just hang out while you do stuff . . ." (which is a lie by the way. If there was anyone who actually could sit and do work at the same time, disregarding me, but being together, that would be a feat, but it doesn't happen that way. No one has work they want to do apparently. (I realize the absurdity of that last statement)) It gets to the point in which I say, "You're right." And they get bent out of shape because of honesty.

Women are not hard to understand, they're just incredibly strange creatures. Beautiful, wonderful, really insolent creatures, but still. Then again, I all but despise most guys until I see some genuine traits in them too, sooo . . . I suppose I just have a problem with people.

It's like Bukowski said when asked if he liked people, "It's not that I don't like people . . . I just feel better when they're not around."

Anyway, enough of my rant.

Comments please, let's get into this. Perhaps we can figure out this enigma.

What a bewitching time of day, 5:38am.

I'm awake. I mean really. I'm tired but after I make some coffee, I'll be set. This is the world for me all filled with trucks beeping an account of their backing up, and cars going home from their one night stands, very quickly.

I have two hard weeks left.

In the course of one night I had two friends/whatever's, girls that is . . . that is to say two girls, tell me that "the ball's in my court" and that I should call them when I have time because they know I'm busy. One of them got a first hand look and still is asking what I'm doing this evening.

ah Jesus. Come on people.

If I wanted to really hang out I would make a concerted effort. That's where everyone is wrong. Yes, I am busy. Yes I would like to hang out. But no, I do not feel like giving my time to you, right now, but rather only when I have an abundance. Do I have to say it? Isn't it obvious?

I don't have time for you now because I don't want to have time for you now. Real sorry. Stop the guilt trips, I know where the ball is. You're passive aggressivenes makes you very ugly to me and no, I don't want to sleep with that.

I'll be at Spot trying to finish a book for the rest of the weekend and all throughout August. That is with the exception of tonight wherein later on, I will be at a certain bar after stopping at a certain coffee shop. This, I am greatly looking forward to.

To Springfaerie, real quick, I haven't read shit, but what I do read is completely consistant of what I like to write, if that shed's any light. Although I'd like to, I'm not going to be picking up Gone With the Wind any time soon.

Incidentally, if anyone knows of a free trial program that will allow me to record voice and a song here and there on a two to four track system, please let me know where I can get my hands on that. I thank you epeeps.

To all you pseudo doctors or medical enthusiasts out there, I have a favor to ask.

How long can a man (or a stickboy) function on less than three hours of sleep a night before extreme mental and physical collapse is achieved. I don't want to get there. It would take way too much time to make my way back into the realm of reality.

So someone must know of a study, or something they heard, or something. I would verily appreciate the info as I have to do so many other things in the next eight days.

Incidentally, in class this morning after artificially keeping myself coherent for the majority of the night, I began to shudder and shake and have severe anxiousness which made me look like some guy who was a full moon away from becoming a werewolf. It was extremely uncomfortable, especially to that pristine girl to my left who heard me sigh and moan, moving because I have to, not because I want to.

Then again, I might be a werewolf.

Any info on if I might be a werewolf would be appreciated as well.