ARGH! I have the worst luck in the world with, of all things, pantyhose! Men are so damn lucky that they don't have to deal with the blasted things! Every day that I have to wear them to work I inevitably get holes and at least one run in them and it sucks because they aren't exactly cheap! And they're hot and miserable and just horrible and a necessary evil! Blast! I just put yet another hole in a brand new pair! Bastard Bitch!

When I was in highschool I had a wannbe member of the Ghastapo for an English Teacher. I had a love- hate relationship with him- he loved to torment me and I hated that he knew every single button to push to get me to start fighting with him. Eventually, I smartened up and learned it was just much better for my piece of mind to just ignore him and would draw or write through class. Really what it was was that he just loved to push his students that he felt were talented. I learned to appreciate him much, much more once I was out of highschool. He was a good teacher in the respect that I didn't realize what I had actually learned until later. Every once in a while, post highschool, a bell would go off and I would go. "Oooh, so that's what he was talking about!"

Mr. Porter came up with some gems, that 12 years later (I can't believe I just wrote that! God, I feel OLD!) I can still recall with alarming rapidity. The L.A. Five- a list of phrases, grammatical gems- if you will, that he said all people from Lackawanna said. I have worked damn hard to virtually eradicate all traces of these from my speech! I am loathe to admit that they do pop in every now and again. And they are:
1. It don't
2. You's guys
3. of seen
4. of took
5. have went

The thing about these little, innocuous phrases is that they are so insidious, they're out of your mouth before you even realize what you've said!

But Mr. Porter's L.A. Five are not why I'm posting today. It was something else that he taught us all, that many of his former students, my brother included, can still recite. At the time, it was just a pain in the ass but once I got past the annoyance of it all, and really listened to what was being said that I understood it.
It was a quote from Confucious.

"If Language is not correct, then what is said is not meant. If what is said is not meant then morals and art deteriorate. If morals and art deteriorate, then justice goes astray. If just goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence, there must be no doubt about what is said. This matters above everything."

I'm just a big, black box right now. Hmmm... I'm definitely going to have to work on changing that. At first I thought it was funny, and it was SOMETHING, but I'm so technologically inept, especially compared to most e-strippers, that I just said, "Fudge- it", and convinced myself it made me seem like an enigma. Now, I feel that I'm just a black box and what is more boring than that?

Now, for my actual purpose for posting today which is nothing as interesting as Dr. Chlorine's post, that's for certain. Anyway, I've been distracted by reading the above mentioned post as well as an adorable 2 year old who has been running around my bank branch and chatting up a storm. We have no idea what he's saying, but every once in a while we can make out, "It's like- MY God!" in a perfect, two year old's imitation of an exasperated adult, and "Elmo". Oh, never mind. It's gone. The post I had in my head this morning as I drank my tea is gone. Maybe later e-peeps.

I am convinced that Dr. Chlorine is a strange, strange man. Funny, but most definitely strange. Of course, like the rest of us are so "normal". Yeah right!