Who knows what the future holds? Once, I thought I did, but all I do know now is that I want to be a teacher. It's a career that I know that I could be good at- scratch that, it's a career that I know that I will be exceptional in! I had a good taste of the reality of teaching when I was an Americorps "Volunteer" in an elementary school. Basically, I was a teaching assistant and I got to see the good, the bad, the ugly, the sublime, the wonderous, the beautiful, and the painful when I worked in this school. One of my students that I tutored for the summer of 2001, a beautiful, happy, mischievous little boy named Zachary passed away when I was there and it was devastating. Yes, I got to experience all of the joys and the horrors of teaching without all of the responsiblity.

It took me a long time to stop fighting what was so disgustingly obvious, that I am meant to be a teacher. I kept telling myself, "Absolutely not! I don't want to have to deal with all of THAT!" And there are things that need to change, it is far from perfect, but the rewards genuinely outweighed all of that, at least for me. Maybe it was because I was working with 5-10 year olds, and it was before that irritating teenage attitude set in, for the most part (of course there were exceptions with that), but they genuinely wanted someone to listen and someone to care and someone to take an interest in them and treat them like a person instead of *just* a child. There were some things that came out of my students' mouths that astonished me- things so profound and full of depth and they just KNEW. I learned a lot in those two years (including the correct spelling of "a lot"- two words, not one!) But most of all, I learned that I need to be in a creative job with good hours and a lot of much earned vacation time! Now, I just have to go back to school, get my master's in El. Ed. with certification, and I have to get moving on this, NOW!

I think the problem with this election is that [c] all [/b] [/c] of the people that think for themselves and have a brain in their heads live in the same area. Apparently, people, what we need to do is branch out, move into the "heartland" and make them see what the hell is really up! Damn the imbeciles! 4 more years of what? Death, destruction, mayhem, a shitty economoy, fear, lies, and a war that no one wanted. God bless America- we're certainly going to need it!

It's at times like this when I wonder, seriously, if we wouldn't have been better off if the North just let the South go during the Civil War. What if Lincoln just said, "Fuck it!" and then we could have proceeded to cripple them economically, afterall, *ALL* of the industry was in the North and we decimated their farms, thereby decimating their way of life. Sure, they have "nicer" weather, if you like heat and humidity and bugs and malaria, because the deep south did have malaria then, it was why all of the rich, white Southerners fled the cities in the summers and left their black slaves behind... but that is neither here nor there. I mean, they think NOTHING like us, they act nothing like us, they speak nothing like us. Maybe it's our turn to say, "You know what, we don't like you after all. You can go on your merry way", but as all of the industry has fled to the damn South, and beyond, and we just have the creative, smart people here, we might be kind of screwed. Well, it gives me something to stew over at least.

Welcome to the new Reich.

BASTARD BITCH !!!! Stupid boy! He knows, somehow, he just knows when I've had it and when I'm walking away because that is when he shows back up, either in person- which is rare-, or by e-mailing me- which is also rare, just not quite so. And normally the e-mails are very short, unless I ask him about computers and then I get a three paragraph, highly technical answer that is like reading Greek- there is almost nothing about what is actually going on with HIM. Until today. Damn it! I love him, I really do, and that is the problem.

Oh, yeah, if you haven't yet, go vote. I did, at 8 o'clock in the morning on my way to work. Hope you're all ready to be up until 4 in the morning to see who wins this damn thing.