I know I'm not the only person on Earth who seems to be a different person when I'm around different people in different circumstances. Most people are in denial about this. I just find it to be a fact of life and of survival. There are shades to me, certain things that are constant, and there are other things that only appear around certain groups of people. There's "Church" Andrea and "Work" Andrea. There's also "Outgoing" Andrea, "Introverted" Andrea, and "Bitch" Andrea. These are all aspects of my personality, but they are separate and distinct, and there are many, many shades more. For others, this can be a problem, especially when all they see of me is one of the shades, and then to see me in a different space, or shade, they have a problem with it, and suddenly, I am not who they thought, or blah, blah, blah, etc... I am who I am is the answer to that question. I suppose who I am all depends upon where I am, and what mood I am in, when you meet me.

So, no, I haven't begun "Man in the Iron Mask" like I said I would. As I perused my bookcase, I did not see it there amongst the Harry Potters, the Anne Rice- Lestat Books, Clive Barker's Abarat (which is amazing! I HIGHLY recommend!), and others previously mentioned. But, I did come across "The Treasured Writings of Khalil Gibran". My father bought it for me several Christmases ago and I never really gave it much thought, but this time, something made me pick it up. I haven't read very much of it at this point because, frankly, I've been too damned tired, but what I have read is simple sublime. Trisha, I finally get what you've been talking about all these years! It's tragic and soothing and hauntingly, amazingly beautiful. Check it out. I doubt you'll be disappointed.

I'm going to attempt to begin reading the Man in the Iron Mask. I began this once before but, as it wasn't as interesting to me as the Three Musketeers, I put it down. I have to stop doing that. I've gotten into this bad habit of beginning books and not finishing them. It must end!

I have to get into this because, well, I just do. I completely understand what Stickboy saying about time. There are times when I am so busy I beg for that reprieve of just being able to stay home and veg. out to an action movie- no thought involved- and I won't go out, even for my friends because, frankly, (and this is going to come out badly but there's no other way to say it) I come first. I agree that I would have to be ludicrisly interested in someone in order to take the time to crawl out from that state of mind. I haven't had that happen yet.

That being said, my big beef is with those stupid ass games that people insist upon playing! The whole, "I'll call you!" and then they don't and then wonder why you didn't call them. Because you said you would call me. I can't stand that stupid deception and men and women do it. I don't because I mean what I say when I say it. Duplicity sucks!

I really appreciate everyone's input into the book thing. Frankenstein is definitely one to add, especially considering that it won the contest amongst Percy Shelley, Lord Byron, and Mary Wolstonecraft Shelley. Let's face it amongst that crew, it can't be a slouch! Enough of my mini-history lesson... I have a tendency to do things like that. I think it has something to do with the fact that I absorb information like a sponge.

The real topic of this e-mail is my misery over my other best friend being away. Trisha is one, and she has not gone away for the present, but my other best friend is Dina, a very bohemian, artist, who I rely on probably more than is actually healthy. She is my guru, the one person that I turn to for everything and have been doing so since I was fourteen. Sometimes it amazes me that we've been friends for nearly 12 years and other times it just seems like she's been there forever, that there wasn't a time before we were friends. And now, she has been camping for weeks and I'm freaking out because I need to talk to her! It never fails, she goes away, stuff happens in my life and then I'm practically going into convulsions because I can't talk to her! I wish I knew what it was about her that has this crazily calming effect. She is my sanity.

God, I miss her!