I really think I've been in school too long. I'm getting to be irresponsible for my school work these days. I can't make for every single class on time. Always late.
I'm sick of being late actually, but I can't make it on time. I know what it is.
I lost my energy to be there and am exhausted of being in school. I need something new that makes me feel alive. I'm Gemini, which means I can get bored easily.. need to get exciting feelings. Well, I do love reading books and want to know more about art theory and history everything. I do love working, but I don't know I'm not really motivated these days.

I'm going back to Korea on December 19th and coming back January 12th. But, I might change the date to come back to Buffalo.. Maybe.. 11th. I hope this break can make me feel motivated. And, realized that my healthy is not that good these days. I can just fall asleep easily, and also, forget something easily. Oh well, if I tell my mom this, she wil yell at me so badly because she sent a lot vitamins for me, but I took it once or twice... all package just is sitting on my dining table.

I don't like taking medicine. I know that sounds so stupid. Well, My blood type is "O", which means, we don't like medical things. That's just my philosophy.
I know I'm sick.. it is not that I got cold anything.. it is just healthy problem...

Okay.. I gotta work now.

First, I feel sorry for Lliho. Yeah, as I already told you last night, I wouldn't let my boyfriend (if I have one) do that. See..? Something has happened. Hum.. Well, it's okay.. it's much better.. he is not worth, then.

Second, a lyrics of Such Great Heights by The Postal Service.
I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes
are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
I would like to speculate that god himself did make us into
corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay
and true, it may seem like a stretch, but its thoughts like this that
catch my troubled head when you're away and I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road for several weeks of shows and when
you scan the radio, I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great heights, "come down now,"
they'll say but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now," but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this all on your machine but the persistent beat
it sounded thin upon listening
and that frankly will not fly, you will hear the shrillest highs and
lowest lows with the windows down when this is guiding you home.


Such a great song.. check that out.

Third, my back is still so badly hurting. Halkuster Thank you for giving me an advice for my back hurting. Well, I knew that I have a problem with my back. It's been so long time. But, this time,, I drove too much and didn't take care of it. My friend told me "are you crazy..? are you trying to kill yourself?"
I think I am.. really.. that would be better. Anyway, I will take care of it while I'm in Korea for this winter break. Now, I put something medicine on my back.
Hope it would make my back better.

Forth, I didn't enjoy the Roxy's last night. I don't like dancing.. Well, I can dance..
But, it needs to take a lot of time to make me feel motivated to dance. Does this sentence make sense..? huh..? Well, I had to go.. because it's Anna's birthday going out.. Every her birthday, she wants to go dancing.. I'm happy to do that for her actually. But, I didn't feel to dance last night.

What else..? I think I gotta go back to talking to my friend in Germany on the messenger.. He is demanding on me to send some pictures right now.. oh well...
I need to work real soon,.

I got a power out again. I don't remember how many times I've gotten it for this year. At least 5 times.. Yeah, the electronic situation in my house is so terrible.
Only one fuse for this house although I got the biggest house in this apartment.

Fortunately, my power book is working, so I can use the Internet in my living room depending on someones wireless network. So, I'm sitting in my arm chair and writing journal plus I'm listening to music as well. Hope, my battery can run for a couple hours.

I'm waiting for my landlord to fix the fuse thingie for my house. I just realized that I need to get some candles. Yeah, I don't have any candles left. So, I'm completely in the dark room only depending on my power book light. I wanted to take a bath. Well, I was just ready to jump into water.., oh well.
Strangely, I'm not really upset about this situation. I guess it is because I can use the Internet and listen to music.

I'm thinking if I were with someone in this situation, what I would do the most..
Hum..? Kiss..?

My childhood in Korea, we had black out sometimes to train emergency, which implied the situation if North Korea invades South Korea. I'm not Korean war generation, so I'm not really aware of how terrible the Korean war was although I have learnt it from School and Media. Anyway, my younger sisters and my peer friends in my childhood were excited of the black out training. Even we didn't know that was for the emergency training. We had no idea. We just went around our neighborhood.. giggling... making friends scared, screaming, finding out which house turned on the light and yelling them to turn off the light. Also, it was so much fun to run into other friends in the dark. Well, I don't think that we have that kind of training anymore. Even I don't remember when it disappeared. Maybe middle 80...

Oh, my landlord came home.. Good. I think it is enough to remember my childhood for today. hu.. ;)

This was the second time to go to Anna's parents house for Thanksgiving day.
I was happy to see Zoe (Anna's little sister) and all people they invited.
Tony Conrad, Steven Eastwood and his little sister from London, Robin and Andy,
Zoe's boyfriend, we had a great thanksgiving dinner all together.

Very relaxing, and fun converstation, drinking wine, making fire, all delicious foods.
So good.. Even I can't describe exactly how wonderful it was.

Polly and Mark, (Anna's parents), Anna, Zoe
Thank you for everything. It was so great.
Thank you so much.

And when I see you, I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better, it picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around

If you feel discouraged when there's a lack of color here
Please don't worry lover, it's really bursting at the seams
from absorbing everything the spectrum's A to Z.
(ahh... ahhh...)

This is fact not fiction for the first time in years
All the girls in every girlie magazine can't make me feel any less alone,
I'm reaching for the phone to call at 7:03 and on your machine,
I slur a plea for you to come home.
But I know it's too late, and I should have given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay; given you a reason to stay;
given you a reason to stay

This is fact not fiction for the first time in years...

A Song by Death Cab for Cutie


(A View from My Old Room in Amherst, 2001, SJ)

I usually put my desk near the window where I can look at outside easily.
At home, I'm always in front of my computer, so I need to get feeling refresh looking over from the view of a moment of outside sometimes.
But, here in my current room, my desk is far from the window.
Perhaps, this is the reason I get depressed a lot here.

This song is giving me the bittersweet feelings. Just as how it rings for you.[bgcolor]#ffffff[/bgcolor]