Finally, I'm sick. Too much intensive and stressful emotions.. Now, I don't know how to figure this week out. This week will be dead. I'm getting obsessed of my work as well. I don't feel good, but I can't go to bed either. The effect of my medicine is making me feel weird right now. I have to call my mom, but keep forgetting and I don't feel to call her right now. I will eventually. Thinking of arbitrarily united images.. abstract relation.. perception-image.. trying to figure these words, and now I'm smoking.

Ah, I want to go to a summer trip with my family. I miss the eastern ocean in Korea. I just want to lay down on the beach with my niece and nephew although they are out of control. My youngest sister said, we should try to arrive in Korea at the same time in December.. I haven't seen her over 2 years. We go back to Korea always different time. But, this time we will try to be there together at the same time. I want to go to spas in the middle of night with my best friends in Korea.
I want to go to shopping with my mom. I want to chat with my old co-workers. I miss them a lot. We can talk about all kind of stuff. Economic, Politice, life,..

I'm too stressed out and too cynical these days. bad.. bad..

Yeah, One of my professor told me at the pink like "Soyeon, you are very optimistic" with giving me an odd face. Yeah, I'm so optimistic... which is good.. isn't it..? He was being sarcastic of who I am.

Everything in human being is fucked up already.. if you are aware of that, you have to be fucked up too which can make you feel sane, not insane way. if your thoughts are too serious in a right way, you must be insane. So, I've already joined the sane way, I am funked up. Make sense..?
Perception or Consciousness is no longer necessary for those who are sane these days. You know what I mean..? So, please don't make me so sad. I'm already sad enough.

Yeah, I was being wish-wash about my thesis committee for a while, also I was being lazy to make up my mind who I want to be in.. because I wanted to have Caroline, but she is not here, she is in Germany this moment. Yeah, finally I made up my mind. Tony, Steven, and Sylvie.. they are my thesis committee.. From now on, I'm going to start my real world. Oh, Scary..

I just finished my new video today which is related to my thesis. It's just a practice.. but it gave me a lot of thoughts. I had a presentation today.. and I showed it to people. I don't know. So, seems like I've just started my thesis thingie.
Well, I have to prepare to get beating up in Photo grads seminar in 2 weeks. Oh well, they never say good thing to any students. So,, I should prepare for that.

One thing.. fuck. I just figured out something tonight at the pink. I saw something clue as I was talking to one of my professor in front of the pink. What can I say.. Just fuck off. That's all.

All matter is that it is a part of my memory and it imprinted on my heart. So, memory is always melancholy.. whatever it is good memory or bad memory.. something left behind in the invisible world and you have lost... That's my word.