Very weird sound had been come out of it for a while. I knew that I might have to buy another one, but didn't expect it would happen very soon. I'm the one who needs hair-dryers after taking showers all the time. It is, to make my hair-style prettier, to make my look better... Actually, it doesn't really matter if I don't look good all the time.. well, I probably look same, it is just my obsession.
However, I can get feeling sad if I have to throw away something I used to have whether it is small one or big one. Just it's sad in a way of the fact that I have to get rid of it.

For one day, For an hour, For a minute, For a second, if I had it, I have to deal with the loss whatever it is. Well, my hair-dryer made me feel safe to look good for a while, but now I have to throw it away. And I have to spend money to get another one. See? There is a painful fact.. " Spending money to get another one."
That's the deal... well, it's the same thing as human being.

I didn't break my hair-dryer.. it just broke by itself today, because it's the time to be.

I started writing journal here that was the first snow day of the winter, 2003. I wrote about one particular flower in Korea.[inlink]u=soyeon&id=1[/inlink] And, I'm waiting for the first snow for this year again although I tell people around that I don't like snow anymore. It is always like that if something is too much, that is not desireble anymore. Isn't that sound so sad in a way..?

For another 100 entry, I've just started writing my journal again here. I don't know what kind of things will be on my mind.. Feelings?, Events?, Jokes..? I'm sure something will be on my mind and I would want to write about it day by day..
Just never guess what will be.. and all my memories always leave here.

A Quotation:

All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique.
All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last,
to tell the whole story, to vomit the anguish up.

An Art of Mine:

December, 28. 2001.

soyeon,

wow, what a crazy trip this has been so far. I'm sorry I didn't get to see
you before I left from Buffalo. The security people took me away because I
was going to be late for my flight. They went through all of my bags -twice!

It was all very strange and I'm wondering what you're thinking. I didn't do
it on purpose, they just made me leave right away so I would make the
flight, I wanted to say goodbye to you but they wouldn't let me see you.

In fact, in every city they have been checking me and going through my bag.

My first flight was late to Chicago which messed everything up. Now I'm very
late in getting to St. Thomas because I missed all my flights, also I have
no idea where all of my luggage is, I could never see it again. It had all
of the Christmas presents I was going to give to my family plus my clothes
of course.

Right now I'm in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It is 2:30 am and there is nobody
here. I'm the only passenger in the airport. It's weird and very lonely. I'm
very sad and very tired.

My flight to St. Thomas Leaves at 7:00 am and will only take 45 minutes.

I left a message for my mom telling her I was going to be late, she was mad
because she thought I missed my flight out of Buffalo.

I hate flying, it is so bad now, I like to travel but I really hate flying
now. This whole vacation has been very bad.

I also feel sad because I left you back in Buffalo. I really want to come
home now. Now it really sounds like I'm a baby.

Help !

I really really really miss you.

I hope things get better. I sent pictures of the lonely airport. I'll to my
parents house to rest and will call you in the afternoon. Talk to you soon.
love

---

It was raining a few minutes ago and I feel melancholy now, cause' I dreamed about you again. I realized that I already lost you at the airport 3 years ago. I was looking for you all over the places at the airport, but you just disappeared. I was on the security line for you. But, you were not there when I turned around to look over where you were standing again. I couldn't go home until most of people at the airport went away. I felt so strange and I got so feeling hurt at the time. Now, it left behind as my memory. Take care.

Soyeon.

The love which is started in passion calls a destructive future,
and the love where the passion is lost is dry.

I already know this two fact too well, it is empty.

-- SJ