I always get feeling strange whenever I go away from Buffalo. I feel like I will never come back to here again or see here again. So, I have to check every single thing in my house before going away. But, I'm not sure that it is because of this feeling or not. Well, I’m going away for NYC for couple days and get this feeling again. Of course, I already checked all my stuff in the house. I know I'm strange. Oh well, I need to go to bed right now because I have to get up by 7 am.

I took her to the airport. I will miss her and her crumsy although she is going away for a week. Of course when I got in her house, she still hadn't packed anything yet. I love seeing her like that because it is very different from me. Although she is like that, she makes everything work. Me..? I'm trying to organize but I can't make everything work. That's ironic.

So, I was getting my coffee and some snack at the starbucks today and realized that I'm broke.
I thought it was gonna happen soon but didn't know how fast it could come.
I was suppose to go to New York with Alan tomorrow but I can't. Fuck it. I really wanted to go to see Whitney Biennial thing. I told Alan about my sistuation today and he said, he might go to New York sometime in this month again. Well, I felt so much better after hearing that.

I think I'm seriously broke but am wondering why I'm not really depressed by this happening. Well, probably I know I will get my one pay-check in the end of this month.. That's why..? Hum.. Getting spoiled.

I've been hanging out too much again. I tried to get some work done today but I had to come home because I was so hungry. Remember..? I'm broke.

It's okay. Really okay..?

I just talked to my second younger sister on the phone. She tried to help me to log on family blog website and I've been looking at all my family pictures there. I miss them so much.
Here my niece and nephew are.

I don't remember how my spring semester has gone. I just remember it was so quick and there is no more snow in Buffalo right now.

Now, I'm finally sitting in front of my computer to do something. I need to sit in here to read, to write or to think. I want to start writing something. I like writing in Korean, but I don't know how it would be okay in English.

I was out of my mind for a long time so that I couldn't have a time for myself. There should be a time for myself, but I don't know where I was.
I liked my lazy day for myself. I haven't listened to music or watched movies anything for a while. I lost myself.

I need to stop wasting myself. It was hard to hold it back. Painful emptiness was stayed in my heart for a long time. Why.. It was over long long time ago. Why I haven't realized it. I don't know.

I'm going to bed right now. That's better idea for now. Then I can start my day eariler tomorrow.