Ok that's it for the updates- that's everything that I had to yet to post. I think I'll keep this going after the end of the semester- I like what I've come up with so far. I also like how I've dedicated most of this journal to one topic. Really beats having an actual physical journal- those things aren't very good for reference if you can't read your own hand writing! I have all of my thoughts layed out now so it's much easier to consider everything I've thought about while trying to make this decision. That's it for now!

4/12/05

I had a discussion with Sarah the other day about body modification. I came up with another concern- is it too much like worshipping the body? Is giving too much importance to the body? Is it a sign of existentialism? I know body modification today is derived from the practices of primitive cultures. What kind of belief systems were present in these cultures? and are the modifications a product of these belief systems? I think it's going to take me awhile to answer these questions.
    Earlier I mentioned that my inspiration for this blog was seeing younger kids with modifications. That really irritates me. I think the rule of thumb for that should be 'wait til you're 18'. Otherwise, you just look stupid. I mean, if it's obvious that mom and dad took you to get pierced or tattooed, you're going to look ridiculous. I think it's also worth noting that most younger kids that have piercings are irritating anyway. Like at the Fear Before the March of Flames show, there were a lot of loud, disrespectful kids that really didn't know how to behave properly- and most of them were pierced. It was the same story at the Leftover Crack show back in September; lots of stupid young kids with piercings. The stupidity of the kids could be unrelated to the piercings, but then again the piercings could be evidence that their parents will let them do whatever they want and consequently the kids are spoiled brats who don't know how to properly conduct themselves in public. If I ever have kids, they have to wait until their 18 to get pierced or tattooed. I think by that age they'll be grown up enough to make the right decision about body modification. I guess in that case the right decision is whatever is best for the individual. I would want my kids to think very carefully about any modifications they want. If I end up a pierced and tattooed mom and my kids complain that I'm telling them to do as I say, not as I do, I'll be able to point out that i had to wait until I was 18 to get pierced and tattooed. Ok I think that's it for now. I still have a lot to think over with this topic. I think I'll take a break from this for awhile- still need to do a lot of research regarding the questions I raised in this entry. If I find any answers I'll post them!

4/3/05

Breather Resist last night! That was a lot of fun. The singer from Coliseum was being an asshole though. I think I heard enough macho posturing from him to last me quite awhile. Jessie actually walked out of the venue during their set when the singer went on his rant about the pope and his "fake fucking heaven"- that guy really had class! Anyhow I was glad Jessie wasn't too upset. She just didn't want to stay and watch that guy's band. Understandable- neither did I.
    Back on topic. I had the tattoo issue partially resolved when I started looking into other forms of body modification. The site bmezine.com (can I link this?) has been my main source for information. I have most of the moral questions about tattoos figured out for myself, but now I'm really not sure about the culture itself. Like I said before, I respect it, but I'm not sure if it's the place for me. I think there is a definite line between modification and mutilation, but doubt the body modification community feels the same way. Some of the modifications people have and the rituals they perform seem a little too out there for me. I think it's really cool that these people are so comfortable with their own bodies, and realize the potential that their bodies have. Most importantly though, they understand that their bodies are their own- and I don't think I can describe how respectable and awesome and right that is.
    I just don't think I want to amputate any of my body parts or have my lips and/or eyes sewn shut or be suspended from hooks or anything like that. I do think it's really cool, but I don't think I want to do that to my body. Basically, the issue I have now is that if I do get permanent modifications, will I become part of this culture. Not that that would be a bad thing, but I'm not sure if it's what I want. Also, if I start getting permanent modifications now, will I end up wanting to amputate my body parts? I really don't want to get into that. I really cherish my body, and want to keep it intact.
    The view I'm hoping to stick with is that my body is my temple, and I can decorate it if I want to. I just won't do anything too painful or damaging. But again, where do I draw that line? I'm already starting to drift from that. I always thought scarifications were kind of unattractive, but now that I've seen some that were really nicely done, I kind of like them. I wouldn't want to be branded or have little bits of flesh peeled off of me, but I think scarification is really beautiful. I'm sort of afraid that I will become really comfortable with all types of body modification. Not that I'm against any of it, but I don't know if I want to get to the point where I'd want any of it done to me. I saw a skin removal scarification on the bme site- it was so beautiful! This guy had some type of plant and flower designs on his chest and stomach. I was so surprised at how well it was done and how beautiful it was. This is quite a change for me. I used to squirm when I saw any picture of this type of modification.
All righty that's it for now.

    3/25/05

Sorry for the lack of updates. Major guy problems (grrrrrrr...) And a sweet trip to Toronto over spring break!!! Unfortunately that doesn't really fit with my theme so I'll have to write about that some other time.
    Anyhow, after having all of those tattoo ideas, and narrowing it down to a few that I wanted, I began to realize that a lot of what I wanted done was probably not going to grow well with me. I would probably start to hate it, and would not only dislike the images, but also would not want to remember that time in my life. It was towards the end of my senior year (high school) that I started to realize this. Now, things are going a lot better and I really would like to remember this time in my life. However, I still sort of feel that if I were to get tattooed now, I wouldn't like it when I was older.
     I have a strong suspicion that I will go back to Christianity some time in the near future. So when I'm a middle aged Christian woman, I'm not sure I'll want to covered in tattoos of skeletons and gory zombie heads. Although maybe if I were to be, that would just be evidence that Christians come from all walks of life. I might get into a discussion later about my attitude towards Christianity. I'll just say that I've seen it completely turn my family's life around. We were headed down the wrong path since day one and it all got fixed in just a few years- I attribute that to my mom's faith.
    Anyhow, I've resolved that issue. This may sound strange, but here's what I've come up with: I will only get tattoos depicting objects/creatures that I wouldn't mind actually touching my body. For example, I would only get a tattoo of fruit bats if I didn't mind if actual fruit bats were to touch me (which i definitely wouldn't mind- I'd really like to be able to get to see and touch one some day- they're so cute a fuzzy!) Or if I were to get snap dragons (my favorite flowers) tattooed on me, I would only do so if I wanted actual snap dragons to touch my skin (again, I wouldn't mind- when I was younger my mom would by snap dragons every spring and I'd help her plant them so I'm definitely cool with them touching me). I know it sounds strange but I think that's the best way to go. For awhile I thought that would prevent me from getting the skeleton tattoos I've wanted since I was 14, but, come to think of it, I'd be pretty happy if I got to touch an actual skeleton (minus rotting flesh bits if possible).
    After that was resolved, I had yet another moral problem- was it against my sometime-to-be-taken-up-again religion? In the bible, I'm not sure where though, it says that you shall not make marks upon your body. However, that's in reference to ancestor worship. When someone died, they would be cremated. The family or tribe of the deceased would make cuts upon their own skin, and rub the ashes of the deceased into their wounds. I imagine it was to have a part of the person stay with them, and maybe to get some of their life force. I can see why this would be bad, because it's having idols before God. I'm pretty sure it's not in reference to tattoos, but perhaps this needs further research.
    My mom told me about another passage in the bible that relates to body modification. Again, I'm not sure where it is but I can find that out. It's about Jesus making you his bride and taking responsibility for you and making a new life for you and what not. In the passage it says he will put a ring of gold in your nose.
     I take that to mean that although piercings may not be holy, they are (and were back in biblical times) a mark of purity and beauty. It seems kind of like a completely unsleazy way of enhancing beauty. This is my own interpretation, of course. I think it's a good point though. I mean, consider the way earrings enhance someone's appearance. It may not be something very noticeable unless you really look at it- but it can make quite a difference. I'm not really sure why it is, but earrings can really make people look a lot more attractive. Not all people can pull it off, but almost everyone that does wear earrings looks much better with them. It would probably be easier to understand if you observed it- it's a fun experiment!
Anyhow that's it for this installment.

Enjoy!

3/5/05

All right I remember some of my other tattoo ideas. I wanted a little black heart on each wrist (which I might end up doing), some kind of carnivorous dinosaur (shut up...), classic Hollywood monsters (Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein, etc.), a coffin (two, actually, as part of a chest piece), a cupcake (not sure why I wanted that- I don't even really like cupcakes), strawberries or cherries or some other interesting-looking fruit, a pirate (again, don't know why), a pirate skeleton (which is still a pretty sweet idea), a labyrinth and Minotaur and Theseus and ships with black sails (from the Greek myth- I'm sure you're familiar with it- my name derives from Ariadne, Theseus' lover), a little red cross (like the Red Cross symbol- my dad found the name Ariana in a book series he was very fond of- the character Ariana was a nurse-or maybe some kind of healer seeing as it was set in the dark ages), a bird of prey, a forest full of scary looking trees, Felix the Cat (I still love Felix- when I was younger I had a copy of a Felix movie- he saved a princess whose name was Oriana), Jack Skellington (again, shut up, everyone goes through that phase), the Cryptkeeper (I had a Cryptkeeper doll when I was younger- yes, I was a very weird kid), and a bunch of severed zombie heads (sweet idea- might still do that). That's all I can remember for now. Damn, that was one really, really long run on sentence. It took up 17 lines! Ok I think that's it for today.