Ok I think I figured how to resize this. This is me before my spetum piercing, when I just had my nostril done.
Yay it worked. As soon as I have pictures of my septum piercing I'll post those. You know if you submit pictures of you modifications to bmezine.com you can get a free temporary membership which gives you access to certain parts of the site that aren't open to the public. So that's what I'm doing once I get pictures.

My septum's still swollen. It should be back to normal by now but I guess having a cold/sinus infection or whatever this is will slow down healing. Anyhow the swelling has gone down enough so that the jewelry doesn't look crooked anymore. Perhaps I won't have to tape it to my face to train it into the right spot.
Grrrrrrrr I'm missing Dead to Fall right now. I missed them in September when they were with the A.K.A.'s, who I also have yet to see. My friends went to that show, and apparently it wasn't that great. This show at Broadway Joes, which is a very small venue, so I think it is probably an excellent show because there's really no opportunity for everyone to be wallflowers (which I guess is what happened at the last show- no one really moved or anything). And yes I did miss the Explosion Tuesday, and Haste the Day for that matter. Again, too too sick, and I had an overwhelming amount of school work- which is almost all done now!!! I do have Reverend Horton Heat to look forward to on Wednesday. I have tickets and a ride so I'll be damned if I don't make it. Seriously though,they have one of the best live shows I've ever seen. Interesting crowd, very few kids, good opening bands, and a two hour RHH set. It just doesn't get any better than that.
Ok back on topic. I was considering exactly why people get modified. I know there are several reasons; beauty, to remember a certain time in your life, to take control of your body, to do something fun/dangerous, or to reach a higher state of being. I know there are probably other reasons but that's what I have for now. Anyhow, it's this last reason that kind of scares me. Well, maybe not scares me, but at least raises a few questions.
Now, although I only have a few piercings, I have experienced the adrenaline rush that comes with some modifications. It made the experience really fun, and also relatively painless. I wish it had kicked in for my last piercing- for some reason it only kicked in afterwards so the actual piercing was much more painful than it had to be! When I got my nostril and ears done, I barely felt any pain. I felt totally psyched for the rest of the night. I felt the way I do when I see a really awesome concert, or when I'm making some sort of art work that's turning out really well, or when I get a really good idea for an art work or essay, or when I get to do something nice for someone (yes I do get really excited about stuff like this- again, shut up). So, when I get pierced, I can't wait to go and do it again. Seeing as I have a moderate cash flow now, I'll probably be able to get pierced again once this one heals- and the more I think about it the more I like this idea. Even thinking about it now makes me really excited to do it- I really can't wait til my septum's healed.
Anyhow, about this higher state of being- it could be the adrenaline rush. It's like a natural high, so I'm cool with it. I won't get modifications solely for this reason. It's just sort of like a perk. The higher state of being could also be the feeling of really being one with your body, realizing the potential your body and life have, and exploring primitive cultural practices (some of which I believe are much more advanced and sensible than modern cultural practices).
Now that I'm really thinking this out I don't think I really have a problem with it. I was sort of considering the possibility that some people might seek modifications in order to fill a void in their life. Not that I'm singling out modifications as evidence of someone having a void in their life, though. I think that everyone has the desire to reach a higher state of being. Religion usually fulfills this desire. I guess it's really a desire to extend beyond your body and the physical world. It might be a part of realizing your own mortality, and knowing that there has to be more than what you see and touch.
I guess I was considering that some people get modifications with the intention of getting rid of the void in their life and maybe also as a way to fulfill themselves without committing to a religion. Not that there would be anything wrong with doing so, but, again, I don't think that's what I want to do. So that issue is pretty much covered for me. Maybe I should just consider why I want to get modified, not why other people do. I was really concerned about the kind of culture I would be committing myself to if I were to get permanent modifications, but I guess that having tattoos doesn't necessarily make you part of the culture. I know I will very carefully consider any modification I get- permanent or not- so I don't really have to worry about doing something stupid.
I was also thinking that I might not like whatever tattoos I get once I start to get older. I have to consider though that I am a rather strange person. I don't know if I'd qualify as eccentric, but I do have a very odd way of looking at the world. So even if I do end up being a soccer mom or what not, I'll still be me. I still have more to consider about this topic, but now I'm not nearly as confused as I was when I started this.



and here's a pic of Reverend Horton Heat

Ok that's it for the updates- that's everything that I had to yet to post. I think I'll keep this going after the end of the semester- I like what I've come up with so far. I also like how I've dedicated most of this journal to one topic. Really beats having an actual physical journal- those things aren't very good for reference if you can't read your own hand writing! I have all of my thoughts layed out now so it's much easier to consider everything I've thought about while trying to make this decision. That's it for now!

4/12/05

I had a discussion with Sarah the other day about body modification. I came up with another concern- is it too much like worshipping the body? Is giving too much importance to the body? Is it a sign of existentialism? I know body modification today is derived from the practices of primitive cultures. What kind of belief systems were present in these cultures? and are the modifications a product of these belief systems? I think it's going to take me awhile to answer these questions.
    Earlier I mentioned that my inspiration for this blog was seeing younger kids with modifications. That really irritates me. I think the rule of thumb for that should be 'wait til you're 18'. Otherwise, you just look stupid. I mean, if it's obvious that mom and dad took you to get pierced or tattooed, you're going to look ridiculous. I think it's also worth noting that most younger kids that have piercings are irritating anyway. Like at the Fear Before the March of Flames show, there were a lot of loud, disrespectful kids that really didn't know how to behave properly- and most of them were pierced. It was the same story at the Leftover Crack show back in September; lots of stupid young kids with piercings. The stupidity of the kids could be unrelated to the piercings, but then again the piercings could be evidence that their parents will let them do whatever they want and consequently the kids are spoiled brats who don't know how to properly conduct themselves in public. If I ever have kids, they have to wait until their 18 to get pierced or tattooed. I think by that age they'll be grown up enough to make the right decision about body modification. I guess in that case the right decision is whatever is best for the individual. I would want my kids to think very carefully about any modifications they want. If I end up a pierced and tattooed mom and my kids complain that I'm telling them to do as I say, not as I do, I'll be able to point out that i had to wait until I was 18 to get pierced and tattooed. Ok I think that's it for now. I still have a lot to think over with this topic. I think I'll take a break from this for awhile- still need to do a lot of research regarding the questions I raised in this entry. If I find any answers I'll post them!

4/3/05

Breather Resist last night! That was a lot of fun. The singer from Coliseum was being an asshole though. I think I heard enough macho posturing from him to last me quite awhile. Jessie actually walked out of the venue during their set when the singer went on his rant about the pope and his "fake fucking heaven"- that guy really had class! Anyhow I was glad Jessie wasn't too upset. She just didn't want to stay and watch that guy's band. Understandable- neither did I.
    Back on topic. I had the tattoo issue partially resolved when I started looking into other forms of body modification. The site bmezine.com (can I link this?) has been my main source for information. I have most of the moral questions about tattoos figured out for myself, but now I'm really not sure about the culture itself. Like I said before, I respect it, but I'm not sure if it's the place for me. I think there is a definite line between modification and mutilation, but doubt the body modification community feels the same way. Some of the modifications people have and the rituals they perform seem a little too out there for me. I think it's really cool that these people are so comfortable with their own bodies, and realize the potential that their bodies have. Most importantly though, they understand that their bodies are their own- and I don't think I can describe how respectable and awesome and right that is.
    I just don't think I want to amputate any of my body parts or have my lips and/or eyes sewn shut or be suspended from hooks or anything like that. I do think it's really cool, but I don't think I want to do that to my body. Basically, the issue I have now is that if I do get permanent modifications, will I become part of this culture. Not that that would be a bad thing, but I'm not sure if it's what I want. Also, if I start getting permanent modifications now, will I end up wanting to amputate my body parts? I really don't want to get into that. I really cherish my body, and want to keep it intact.
    The view I'm hoping to stick with is that my body is my temple, and I can decorate it if I want to. I just won't do anything too painful or damaging. But again, where do I draw that line? I'm already starting to drift from that. I always thought scarifications were kind of unattractive, but now that I've seen some that were really nicely done, I kind of like them. I wouldn't want to be branded or have little bits of flesh peeled off of me, but I think scarification is really beautiful. I'm sort of afraid that I will become really comfortable with all types of body modification. Not that I'm against any of it, but I don't know if I want to get to the point where I'd want any of it done to me. I saw a skin removal scarification on the bme site- it was so beautiful! This guy had some type of plant and flower designs on his chest and stomach. I was so surprised at how well it was done and how beautiful it was. This is quite a change for me. I used to squirm when I saw any picture of this type of modification.
All righty that's it for now.